Hidden Bitter Darkness
by Kallypso
Summary: "It was bad enough killing other kids to survive. Now we had to fight against the one we cared most about. I have nothing in my hate heart for the Capitol." The Third Quell begins. AU sequal to hunger Games if Catching Fire didn't happen. OC warning. R
1. Chapter 1: The Third Quarter Quell

_**A/N: I read the hunger games series again when we were snowed in for four days and got re obsessed. Then I started thinking, and when I think a story plot comes to mind and this happens. This is my version of the story if only Katniss won the 74th hunger games. I think the quarter quell would have been differnt. Enjoy.**_

**Chapter 1: The Third Quarter Quell**

**Willow's POV**

My eyes narrow as I crouch on the branch of a tall oak tree. Below me is a deer. I'm lucky to find one this close to the fence. Usually I only get kill this big when I go into the deep woods. My hand tightens on my knife as I wait. I have to wait for the deer to get in just the right position. If I lose the element of surprise or if the blow isn't fatal, I lose my kill. And I don't want my mom and siblings to starve on reaping day.

I hardly dare to breathe as the deer pauses under the tree. She knows something is watching her. She can sense my presence. Just a little bit closer and I'll have her.

She lowers her head back to the ground after an agonizing pause. She takes a step forward. I seize my chance and drop from the tree.

My knife sinks into the deer's neck, like I had hoped. She admits a high pitched sound of pain and keels over, her hooves kicking out wildly. I quickly pull the knife from her neck and sink it through her eye, killing her immediately. She goes limp under me.

I swallow and straighten, tucking my knife back into my belt. I'll be able to get quite a bit for this at the Hob. Besides this deer, I've caught a squirrel, some fish and I've gathered some berries.

Hopefully we'll have good meal with this horrible day is over.

* * *

I've grown up in the Seam all my life, in a small house with my mother, my twin sister and my little brother. My father was killed in a coal mining accident when I was nine along with so many other miners. I don't remember him all that well. All I have of him are pictures. Every year that passes he becomes more and more of a stranger in my mind.

It was after his death that I started venturing into the woods and hunting. I would climb trees and wait for prey to pass me by before I'd attack. My sister said I was like a snake. Coiling and waiting, concealed in the leaves and striking hard and fast before the prey had time to run away.

Of course I used to miss more times than I killed. But as the years went by I started to get better. I was able to bring in more kills to trade in the Hob. I'm no expert at hunting. I don't know how to use a bow and my snares are less than effective. I'm decent with a knife under the right circumstances. I'm just good at sneaking around and I'm patient.

I kept my family alive when our meager rations weren't enough. It's hard since we have only my mother to work for a living. Even though hunting in the woods and trading in the Hob is illegal, there is no other alternative.

Unless we want to look like skeletons. But I find that isn't a particularly pleasant idea.

I'm surprised to run into Katniss, the District 12 victor last year, at the Hob. She doesn't need to hunt as she is in the victor's village. I don't understand while she still does it.

Katniss approaches Greasy Sae to trade with her. She notices my eyes on her and casts me a glance "What?" she asks, her voice sharp.

"Nothing." I say, evenly. "I'm just wondering why you're here when you don't even need to hunt anymore."

She looks at the dead squirrel in her hand "It takes my mind off things."

"Oh." I mutter, looking at the ground. "Right."

I guess being a victor is a hard thing as much as it is an honor. You have to watch twenty three others die. This year she'll have to mentor two other tributes who will probably die as well. The way I figure it, District 12 will get a victor every twenty five years if we're lucky.

"I've seen you before haven't I?" Katniss asks.

"Yeah." I sigh. "A long time ago... your father was killed in the same accident my father was. I was nine then."

"Yes, that must have been it." She finishes her trade with Greasy Sae. "What's your name?"

"Willow." I say.

A ghost of a smile appears over her face. "Well… may the odds be ever in your favor Willow."

I stare after her as she walks away, unsure if I should reply or not. By the time I've considered this, she's already out of ear shot.

"You get on now." Greasy Sae tells me. "Your mother will worry about you."

"Yes." I nod. "Thank you for your business."

* * *

My sister is sitting on the ground just outside our house when I arrive. She grins when I appear "Willow!"

"Holly." I grin in return. "Is mom up?"

"Yeah she's inside." Holly nods and looks me up and down. "You're filthy. It will be a chore getting you ready."

"Thanks a lot." I mutter, though I'm not really angry.

Even though Holly is my twin, she looks nothing like me. She has blonde hair and grey eyes, I have dark hair and dark green eyes. She takes after my mom, I take after my dad. The only thing I take after my mom is I'm small for my age at fifteen. I'm a total shrimp. Holly is of a more average height.

This will be our fourth time in the reaping. I'm not nearly as panicked as I was the previous years. Last year, neither of us stopped clutching each other's hand until the reaping was over. Last year a twelve year old had been reaped, but Katniss, her sister, took her place.

Last year's games was gut wrenching. Peeta and Katniss were the only ones left. He wouldn't kill her and she would kill him, but because of his wounds, he went first. I remember Katniss looking numb the entire post game events. I would be to. It seemed like they really were in love.

My little brother, Walter, is bouncing restlessly in his chair when Holly and I enter the house. He beams and runs to hug me as soon as I take two steps into the kitchen.

"Sissy! Did you get us anything good to eat?"

I nod and sling my spoils from my shoulder and onto the table. "Bread, meat, a little cheese and some fresh strawberries." I ruffle his hair. "We'll eat well tonight."

Walter licks his lips. I hear my mom laugh as she enters the room. "Yes, I'll be glad when this day is over. It's nerve racking for me. I'll never get used to it."

"No kidding." I sigh.

My mother looks me over "Well, you're filthy. We need to wash you up before you get into your outfit."

"I don't see why we have to dress up." I groan. "Who are we trying to impress? I don't much want to impress the Capital."

"Willow" my mom's face grows stern. "It's only customary. Looking nice is a courtesy you can afford to give your district." She brushes her hair absently from her face. "Besides, it won't matter. You won't be taking part in the games anyway. You're young and you haven't had to take as many tesseraes. The odds are in your favor.

"She's right." Holly says. "We won't get reaped. It's better to think optimistically."

I shrug. Maybe it's better to look on the bright side, but twelve year olds have still been drawn even when they've had only one slip in the pool. But for the sake of everyone else, I try to keep my thoughts on the bright side.

Today is one of the few days where I bathe in a tub of warm water, scrubbing my body and washing my hair. My mother has brought out our old dresses that we used for the last reaping. Mine is blue and Holly's is violet. They're both simple dresses but both very pretty. I've always preferred simple. It's the opposite of the Capital's extravagant style.

When I'm dressed my mom helps me work the tangles from my long hair. I push it back behind my ears and pull my bangs out of my face with a clip.

Holly barely has to do anything to her hair to make it beautiful. My sister is beautiful naturally, with soft, wavy hair that glows with the sun hits it and her always smiling grey eyes. I know many of the boys at my school have a crush on her.

I'm not nearly as pretty as her. It's not that I'm ugly. I'm just plain. Though I might look better if I wasn't always so dirty.

"You both look pretty." Walter tells us. At ten years old he has two years before he can be reaped. He has dark hair like me and grey eyes like my sister. He's also small for his age. For living in the Seam, he's a surprisingly happy boy. He always seems to be smiling.

"Thanks Walt." Holly smiles and pinches his cheek.

"Yeah so do you." I smirk at him.

He makes a face "Uh uh! I am _not_!"

"Just joking with you Walter." I shake my head. "You're very handsome."

Walter puffs out his chest in pride.

"Let's go." My mom motions for us to stand. "We'll be late."

This is the 75th hunger games and as such this is the third quarter quell. It has been tradition in the past for the quell to be different from a normal games. Surprisingly enough though, this quell is a mystery. President Snow announced to the world two weeks ago that the special feature of the quell would be revealed on the day of the reaping. It's all a secret.

That makes me a little uneasy. Any secrets that the Capital keeps can't be good ones.

Holly and I separate from my mother and Walter and go to join the other girls in the roped off area. We join a group of our friends who are talking to each other nervously, shifting from foot to foot in anticipation. My friend, Lila is practically jumping up and down.

"Oh… I just want it to be over." She murmurs. "I _hate _this waiting. They drag it out so much."

"You'll be fine." I say, not very good with comforting words. "The odds are in our favor."

"Yeah but _still_." Lila whines.

"Yeah… still." I agree with a nod.

My eyes turn towards the stage. There are four chairs on the stage beside the podium. One is filled by the mayor, the next by District twelve's escort, Effie Trinket, who seems a lot happier to be our escort now that we've had such publicity last year. The third and fourth chairs are for our two living victors. Katniss Everdeen, of course, and Haymitch Abernathy. Haymitch is drunk, but not quite as drunk as usual, though that isn't saying much. He just slumps in his chair, looking dazed. Katniss just looks relatively disgusted by the whole reaping.

I can't imagine why.

But the strangest thing is that up on stage, instead of two balls, a ball for girls and a ball for boys, there is only one large glass ball. There are many whispers about this between my friends. We know it has something to do with the quell, but we don't understand why there would be _less _tributes. That didn't fit the Capital's bloodthirsty tastes at all. Something else was going on, and it made me uneasy to think about it.

We listen to the mayor give his usual speech on the history of Panem and about the uprising that caused the Hunger Games to be founded. I tune out most of his speech. I've heard it many times before. The mayor introduces our past victors. When the crowd responds with token applause, Katniss only glares forward and Haymitch is too drunk to really care.

Then Effie Trinket comes to the stage "Happy, happy Hunger Games!" she beams. "And may the odds be ever in your favor." She gestures to the glass ball. "As you see, I have only one pool to select a name from. The second tribute will decided later by other circumstances. Good luck to you all!" she beams brightly and reaches her hand into the pool.

Everyone holds their breath. She pauses for dramatic effect before she reads the name. As soon as the name exits her lips I feel Holly squeeze my hand in a death grip.

Because it's my name that has been read.

_Willow Catridge._

And my name has suddenly become my death sentence.

* * *

**_Tell me what you think in a review and give me suggestions, tips etc. _**

**_REVIEW!_**


	2. Chapter 2: The Truth of the Quell

_**A/N: Here's the next chapter. We have some of Willow and Katniss's POV as well as the revealing of the third quell theme. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 2: The Truth of the Quell**

I feel dizzy. For a moment I can only stand stiffly in place, swaying on the spot, my hand wound tightly with Holly's. Then I pry my hand from her grasp and walk towards the stage, dazed. It's like moving through a dream. My legs move of their own accord though my brain wants them to run as fast as they can away from here.

"Willow!" I hear Holly crying. "No! Willow!"

I force myself not to look back at her and I force myself not to start crying. I just glare ahead. I want to be defiant and strong, though this is hard when I'm shaking like I am.

As I mount the stage I see Katniss sigh and rub a hand over her face, like this pains her. She remembers me. She wished me luck just this morning. Haymitch's head kind of lolls to the side as he looks at me and he smirks.

Great. I think they both think I'm going to die. I don't exactly look like a picture of great strength.

"Let's give a hand for our new tribute!" Effie exclaims.

As per usual, no one in District 12 claps. That's one of the things that makes me proud of to live in District 12. Because in a way, none of us will accept the carnage of the games. We will always resist it just a little.

I'm confused as the peace keepers take me into custody. How are they going to choose the other tribute? There has to be another tribute doesn't there? How will they decide?

I'm put in a room of the District building so that my friends and family can say good bye. My mother comes in first, but she is alone.

"Where are Holly and Walter?" I ask.

"New protocol." She murmurs. "Only one person in at a time." Her eyes are red and I know she's been crying. "You can win dear."

"Right." I mutter. "I'm not exactly a front runner."

"But you have to try none the less." She insists. "I won't be able to live knowing that you gave up. Try. Try hard."

"I will." I nod. "I promise." I squeeze her hand in mine. Her skin is warm; comforting "And you promise that you'll keep going, that you'll make sure Walter and Holly don't starve."

"I will."

Moments later the peace keeper comes for my mom and I let go of her hand. The sudden lack of warmth makes me shiver. I'll never see her again. Even if I try to win, I know that I'll never see her again.

Next come Walter. His face is solemn and his lip quivers. He's fighting back tears. He's trying to be strong for me. The though almost makes me tear up myself.

He sits in my lap as we talk, and I stroke his curly dark hair.

"You're strong sissy." He murmurs. "You can win. And you're fast. And you can hunt animals! You can find a way."

"Sure." I mutter.

"You can."

"I'll try to."

He continues to assure me of how amazing I am, and how I can definitely win the games. I just nod and answer him in short sentences so that I don't start sobbing.

When the Peacekeepers summon him from the room I swallow hard. I will never see his cute smile again.

My other friends visit me, all of them crying and assuring me that I can win. Until finally the one person I really want to see enters.

Holly.

She hovers in the doorway of the room, biting her lip. I know that she has been crying but she's trying hard to hide it. We stare at each other for a split second, just looking, before she launches herself at me and crushes me in a hug. Now she is crying hard and a few tears manage to escape the confines of my eyes too. I blink them away.

"You have to win." Holly tells me when she's composed herself. She clasps both of my hands in hers in a death grip. "You _have _to."

"I can't" I whisper. "You know I can't." She's the only one I can really admit this too.

"Maybe not." Holly says. "Maybe it's all me dreaming and praying. All I know is you've been keeping us alive ever since dad died. All I know is that you're the fighter of the family. You're the strong one. So you can't just give up. If you do…" she glares at me. "If you do then I'll give up too. I'll give up on our family and I'll give up on life."

"You can't do that!" I exclaim. "Idiot, you can't kill yourself because I-"

"I won't if you go down fighting." She says. "But you. Will. _Not. _Give up."

"No." I murmur. "No, I won't."

"You're my sister." She says, staring down at our hands. "I've grown up with you my whole life. You're a part of me. I love you Willow. I do."

"I love you too."

The peace keepers burst into the room. I know that I'm about to lose sight of Holly forever. Then something strange happens. The head peace keeper looks from me too Holly and seems to come to a conclusion.

"Yes, she's the one."

"The one what?" I ask. "What are you talking about?"

The peacekeepers ignore my question and they steer both me and Holly from the room. I'm dazed when I find myself back up on stage. Holly is at my side, her hand still tightly enlaced in mine. Effie Trinket beams at us. "Ah! We have our second contestant everyone!"

There are murmurs of disbelief from the crowd.

"Yes," Effie continues. "For the third Quarter Quell, as a reminder of how many loved ones the Capital lost because of the rebels, the selected tribute will be accompanied by their closest companion to the games. Age and gender do not matter."

A cry goes up among the crowd. They all recognize how cruel this is. Even Katniss has dropped her bored demeanor to stare in horror at Effie.

"You've got to be kidding…" I hear Haymitch mutter.

Holly can only stand in shock at this announcement.

"You can't do this." I hiss. "Not this. This is an all time low!" My hiss has turned to a snarl. "What is wrong with you people?"

"Willow." Holly says. "Willow don't… we'll only get in trouble."

"What do you mean don't?" I growl.

"Because you said you'd try to win. This will only get us more trouble in the arena. You still have to try" She looks at me firmly. "_We_ have to try."

This makes me stop. Because she's right. We did promise. And the Capital won't stop this game because of some girl telling them it's wrong. So I press my lips together and stem all the curses I want to throw at them from exiting my mouth.

"Well then" Effie says. "Our tributes are Willow and Holly Catridge!"

The silence is welcoming. Then Holly and I are swept away by the Peacekeepers.

And she didn't even get a chance to say her goodbyes.

The station swarms with cameras. Holly looks dazed by this whole thing. I just feel really, really pissed off. My whole body is burning with rage and I want to lash out at someone. They are putting me in the arena with my sister and that means one or both of us will die. It means I might even have to kill her. How can they put us in the arena with the one we love most? It's bad enough killing strangers.

After a torturous five minutes of allowing the cameras to take our pictures and document our arrival to the train station we are allowed on the train. I've never felt so relieved in my life.

The luxury of the train rooms takes my breath away. Despite how much I hate the style of the Capital, I have to admit that it's beautiful. Holly looks around in awe. She's always had more of an eye for beauty than me. Anything beautiful makes her gawk. This absolutely entrances her.

We are given separate quarters on the train. I part with Holly, promising to see her at dinner. She gives me a small smile and staggers to her room.

For a brief moment I fear for my sister. She's never killed a thing in her life. She's a soft heart. She's not particularly strong. And if I were to die, I don't think she would keep on trying to win.

I brush the thought quickly from my mind. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about a time when I will go to grab Holly's hand and it won't grab mine back.

**Katniss's POV**

Haymitch is drinking when I enter his room. It's only now, after surviving the games, that I can understand why he became such a drunk. I would do anything to take the pain away as well.

I wonder if I should leave but before I can, he glances over his shoulder, noticing me "Need something sweetheart?"

"A drink." I say after a pause.

He laughs a short, joyless laugh and motions me over, "Be my guest."

I sit next to him on the couch and grab an unopened bottle of liquor. The taste is bitter but I swallow it anyway. It burns my throat. The pain is almost comforting.

"So what do you think?" I ask.

"About what? The tributes or the quell?" He drawls.

I shrug "Both."

He sighs, "I think the Capital has reached an all time low, like the shrimp said. This is worse than the other quells. The first quell, they made the districts vote for their tributes, which was horrible, sure. The second quell they sent twice as many into the arena. That meant more deaths. But this." He shook his head.

"Yeah… this." I mutter, taking another swig from my bottle. "It's because of me and Peeta. I guess they figured the games would be more interesting if the contenders cared about each other."

Haymitch says nothing to contradict this. Instead he changes the subject "So we're coaching a set of twins." He muses. "They look nothing alike. The blonde one is bigger than her sister but…"

"But she's not a fighter." I finish. "I can tell the same. The other one, Willow, I've seen her in the Hob trading. She's a hunter. I've never seen her in the woods before which means she must be good at sneaking around. I don't know… she might have a chance."

"But her size will be a down fall." Haymitch says.

I shoot him a glare at his lack of confidence.

He shrugs and smirks at me a harsh tone creeping into his voice, "Get used to it sweetheart. Now that you're a mentor you'll be seeing a lot of kids go to the chopping block. I coached sixty six tributes before you. How many of them survived?"

"None." I murmur.

"Exactly." He says. "You'll learn not be optimistic after a few of them die. Even if you were to coach a kid to win every one of the games for the rest of your life, you'll still see just as many die."

I flinch because I know the words are true. Then I tilt my head back and drain the rest of the contents in my bottle in a few gulps. Haymitch gives me a look and a small smirk creeps onto my face "Liquid optimism, Haymitch."

He laughs once again "I'll drink to that."

* * *

**_So yeah, the Capital is evil. They just watch to see who the tribute was going to miss most and threw them in the arena with them. Bastards. Hope you liked it. REVIEW!_**


	3. Chapter 3: First Impressions

_**Here's the next chapter! This is a big updating day for me since it's spring break and all. Enjoy and review!**_

**Chapter 3: First impressions**

**Willow's POV**

It's Effie's bubbly voice that wakes me the next morning. I don't understand how someone can stay so happy all of the time. Maybe it's only when I have the pleasure of seeing her.

"It's a big, big, day!" she beams. "Breakfast has already been served. We'll reach the station in a couple of hours."

I sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes. "Holly…" I mumble.

"Your sister is already up." Effie tells me. "Hurry now! You'll want to see what your competition is!"

Actually, I don't want to see who my competition is but I do want to see Holly so I drag myself from my bed. After dressing in a simple green shirt and pants I slump into the dining car where Katniss, Haymitch, Effie and my sister await.

At first I can only stare in awe at the food on the table. It looks absolutely amazing, every bit of it. I've never seen this much food at one time in my life. After I get over the initial shock of seeing it, the smell draws me over to my chair next to Holly.

Holly has bags under her eyes. I guess she didn't sleep well. Katniss and Haymitch don't exactly look rested either. I think Katniss is hung over as she is rubbing her temples and Haymitch is buzzed but not in coherent. My guess is that Katniss makes sure he doesn't get too drunk. Effie is the only one who looks completely awake this morning.

"I already made you a plate." Holly pushes a well portioned dish of food under my nose. If I served myself, no doubt I would have piled the food high, but I think she's trying to be as civilized as possible. She wants to get on the good side of our mentors.

"Thanks." I say gratefully. I try hard not to stuff my face with the food. I'm not used to this much at one time. It will come back up if I eat it too fast. That won't make a good impression.

As we eat, Effie switches on the TV and shows the recap of the reaping. I try to remember as many of them as I can.

A girl from district 1 is put in with her twin brother, so I guess we won't be the only set of twins in these games. Both of them have platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes. They kind of creep me out, at first glance. A girl from 2 is put in with her father, who looks tough and honestly scary. A muscular boy from district four is put in with his girl friend. They will be the career pack. I decide to go ahead and start hating them.

The others that stand out to me are a hulking boy and his little nine year old brother who reminds me of Walter, from seven, a fifteen year old boy and his sullen looking older sister from nine and a twelve year old girl and her older brother from eleven.

The others are all lost to my mind by the time the district twelve re-cap comes up. I'm satisfied that I seem to glare right at the camera when I curse the capital for make the quell like they did. Holly seems surprisingly calm now that I see her while my blood isn't boiling. She seems almost resigned. It scares me to see that look on her face.

Before I can ponder this more, Effie switches the TV off and beams "Well it was certainly an interesting reaping!"

"If by interesting you mean screwed up then yeah." I growl. "So they monitor our goodbyes and pick who they think we're most attached to. The Capital is sick. Making her go into the arena with me."

Holly shrugs "The Capital has always been sick. There's always someone that has to watch their loved one die in each district."

"But not while they can do something about it." I say. "It's different on a TV screen. If you see someone die you can say _'There was nothing I could do. It was bad luck.' _But in the arena?"

"There's nothing we can do about it, Willow."

Haymitch starts laughing suddenly "So not only are these twins opposite in look but they're opposite in personality!" he leans forward. "Though you are both right in some respect. It's sick, but there's nothing you can do about it."

"I'm comforted beyond belief." I say sourly.

"I'm not going to comfort you sweetheart, I'm going to try and get you to win." Haymitch says.

"_Sweetheart_?" I stare at him.

"You're going to have to get used to that." Katniss sighs.

I'm glaring at Haymitch but he doesn't seem to really care.

"So uh…" Holly tries to change the subject. "If you're training us then what's the best strategy for-"

"Slow down." Haymitch holds up a hand. "You're getting ahead of yourselves. We'll be pulling into the station soon and you'll be handed over to your stylists."

"And you can't object to anything that they say." Katniss says. "You're lucky though. Cinna and Portia will be working with District 12 again."

Holly's eyes brighten. I know that she loved every last one of District twelve's outfits last year. She gushed over them for ages. She always had an eye for beauty of course. Even I feel happy at this prospect. Some of the stylists make their tributes look horrible at the opening ceremony. Cinna and Portia will at least make us noticeable and get us some sponsors for sure.

That's one bright side to this whole mess.

**Holly's POV**

"So what do you think of our mentors?" I ask.

Willow shrugs "Haymitch is annoying. How about you?"

"Well, Katniss will probably be more helpful since she just won the games last year. It will be fresh on her mind. And she'll be more sober than Haymitch." She shrugged. "But he did manage to get her through the games last year. But Katniss is probably better as a mentor."

"I thought the same." Willow nods. "Which is why I want her to coach you."

"What?" I ask, my eyes widening.

"Because she'll remember the games better and she can teach you more and I think she'll be sober most of the time. I know how to hunt and take care of myself pretty well. You're the one who will need the help." Willow says.

I sigh and nod, because I know it's true. I'm not the fighter. My sister is. She's amazing. I need all of the help I can get.

"Won't we be coached together though?" I ask.

"Yes." She nodded. "But I think they'll want to look at us separately as well to see how we work without each other." She tries to hide her uneasiness by swallowing hard. "Just in case."

"There won't be a just in case Willow." I put a hand on her shoulder. "Ok? Don't think like that."

She smiles but says nothing.

"So." I say as the train slows to a stop. "What do you think our outfits will look like?"

Willow groans and I grin.

That's my sister. Never appreciating the beauty in anything.

**Willow's POV:**

Having your entire body uprooted of hair, hurts… a lot. I almost let loose a cry of pain as Claudia, a strange woman with bright pink hair and cat like purple eyes, up roots a sixth patch of leg hair.

I decided I hated my prep team around the third patch.

They were just so… stupid. They reminded me of birds the way the flitted about me, talking in high pitched trills in their silly Capital accent. Every time they talk I feel like mimicking them.

It is torture but I don't protest to what they say. When Claudia finally says "This is the last one."

Best four words I've heard in my life.

The rest of my hair is uprooted with a final tear.

"You look much better now." beams Fulvio, an eccentric man with spiky orange hair. "Like an actual human!"

Yeah because these guys look _so _natural. I think our definitions of human being are completely different.

"I think she's much more presentable!" Ollie, a woman with spiked purple hair and giant lips of the same hue exclaims.

I'm relieved when I'm finally handed over to my stylist. I've gotten Cinna so I guess Holly got Portia. It's refreshing how normal he looks, for a Capital resident at least. Unfortunately that makes me feel more self conscious about having him stare at me while I'm naked and I cross my arms over my chest, shivering.

He smiles at me "Why don't you put on your robe and we'll talk."

I gratefully do as he tells me and follow him into the next room where I sit down on a red couch opposite him. He studies me for a moment before he speaks.

"I saw the reaping. You really hate the Capital and it's people don't you?"

"Yes." I say bluntly.

"I expect nothing less."

"So uh…" I venture cautiously. "What am I going to be wearing?" I can't help but let a little bit of excitement creep into my voice. I don't exactly think he'll be able to top the setting the outfits on fire thing.

He grins at me "Well we will be continuing with the burning theme… but you won't be on fire. We're going for another approach."

"And what's that?" I ask.

"Think smoldering."

This should be good.

* * *

I'm amazed, despite how I have never, ever been interested in clothes. But Cinna has not only made me look amazing but he has made me look dangerously beautiful.

My dress is coal black, tight fitting at the waist and spread out at my knees like smoke. But it seems to be covered in sparks, sparks that almost leap right off the dress. I am the color of smoldering coal. My makeup has been done to make my eyes look vicious and my face angular. I look like a strange exotic being that was born from fire itself. My dark hair has also been decorated with the material that looks like sparks but it has been left relatively alone other than that.

"It's…" I inhale deeply. "It looks amazing… it really does."

"Not quite as grand as setting you on fire I'm afraid." Cinna smiles. "But it does you well."

"I like it better than the fire. It's more subtle." I look at him. "And Holly? Is she dressed in the same thing?"

"Well we used your contrasting looks." Cinna says. "So your sister will have different colors. She is more like fire dotted with coal."

"She's the light one, I'm the dark one." I smirk.

"Something like that, yes." Cinna nods.

But there is no doubt that Holly tops me. It isn't because the design or colors are better; it's just that she is _gorgeous_. I'm plain and have been made beautiful. She is beautiful and has been made blinding. The oranges, reds and yellows seem to ripple like a blazing fire, dotted with glimmering obsidian specks. Her hair has curled and it falls in waves to her back. The way the light glints off it, it looks as if it is fire too.

Holly catches sight of me and beams "You look amazing Willow."

"Not quite as good as you." I sigh.

She rolls her eyes at my compliment "It's these outfits. They're stunning. I think you could put a monkey in these and make them look beautiful. I love our stylists!"

"They're nice." I agree. "They're uh… pretty."

Holly sighs "Aren't you poetic?"

We mount the chariot. I peer ahead trying to get a glimpse of the other contestants. There are some unbearably goofy costumes and some other beautiful ones. I wonder how ours look in comparison.

Just before District 11 rolls out Holly holds out her hand to me and smiles "I'll fall off the chariot if we don't get a grip on each other."

"Same." I clasp her hand tightly in mine.

The roar of the crowd is deafening as they see us roll out. I look up on the big screen and I can see that Holly is the center of it all. I'm more of an afterthought, even if I do look so amazing I barely recognize myself.

I stand kind of stiffly but Holly has snapped immediately into a friendly persona that I know isn't a challenge for her. She's always been good with people. She waves at the crowd, winks and blows a few kisses. I decide that this is probably a good idea if I want to get sponsors.

But I want to go for a different approach than Holly. Because I'm supposed to be the dark one. So instead of a smile I smirk coolly and wave. I want to seem taunting, dangerous. I think the makeup and costume help me with that.

I barely listen throughout President Snow's welcome speech. I don't want my blood to start boiling again so I try to go for a bored look instead.

Still, I'm relieved when the National Anthem plays and we parade around the ring one last time before going into the training center.

I detach myself from Holly's firm grip as I step down from the chariot.

"I think they liked it." Holly grins.

"We can only hope." I nod. "God I hate crowds."

Holly laughs. "Willow, you'll be fearless when it comes to the games. Your one problem is getting the crowd to like you!"

I laugh too. It's true, my own death in the games has stopped bothering me as much. It seems unavoidable.

What terrifies me is Holly. If she dies then it will be my fault. If she dies it will because I cared about her more than anyone else in the world.

Only in the games could love be the worst thing possible.

* * *

**_Thanks for your reviews so far people. Please keep it up and tell me how I'm doing!_**


	4. Chapter 4: Fighting For Eachother

**A/N: I didn't get any reviews last chapter so feel free to review for both in this one. Hope you Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4: Fighting For the Other**

**Willow's POV**

Dinner is just as glorious as every other meal I've had thus far in the Capital. Holly and I are joined by our stylists and Katniss, Haymitch and Effie. I have a hard time focusing my mind on the fact that I should be strategizing right now.

Maybe that's the Capital's strategy. Getting us used to a lot of food just so we can suffer when we go into the arena. I wouldn't be surprised.

As soon as we've finished eating we move into the sitting room to watch the opening ceremonies of the game. I've got to say that District 1 is certainly close to our outfits in beauty. Their twin tributes have a sort of creepy and deadly beauty to them. The girl is dressed to appear like a diamond and the boy is dressed to look like an obsidian gem. They contrast just like Holly and I.

There are other beautiful outfits, no doubt about it, but no one can deny that Cinna and Portia have out done themselves again.

Katniss actually half grins as she talks with Cinna about the success of the opening ceremonies. It's one of the few times I have seen her smile.

"It seems we have a pretty distinct strategy going on here." Haymitch says when the TV clicks off. "Contrast. Cinna contrasted your looks but you two naturally contrasted your attitudes at the games. You," He gestures at Holly. "Were warm and friendly at the ceremony which will definitely draw in sponsors."

"But she played it more arrogant and vicious." Katniss says, nodding at me. "Which will make people think she can win."

Holly and I glance at each other. We weren't even trying to be opposites. We just kind of are.

"But now it's time to focus on training." Haymitch says. "And I would usually give you an option to train together but not this time. You two will be training separately."

"Why?" Holly asks immediately.

"Because we already know that you two are close." Haymitch says. "That's why you were put together in the arena. But if you two are constantly by each other's side you will be targeted."

"Because if they take out one of us they'll think they can cripple the other psychologically." I murmur. "With despair."

"Exactly." Haymitch says. "We can coach you together when we're alone but when you're in the training center, I want you both apart from each other. We'll decide later what you should focus on." He leaned back in his chair. "So, what can you do? What are your skills?"

"Just about nothing." Holly says. "Unless you count running. I'm pretty good at that."

"Running is helpful in the arena." Katniss says. "Especially when you're trying to get away from something engineered by the game makers… say… a wall of fire." Her mouth quirks and I know she's referring to the time that she had to run away from an engineered forest fire in the arena and almost got cooked alive.

I hesitate before I say "I can handle a knife."

"Are you any good?" Haymitch asks.

"She's amazing." Holly is suddenly very enthusiastic. "She's been bringing back food from the woods for years."

"With just a knife?" Katniss asks.

"Yeah." Holly says. "She climbs the trees and waits for prey to come wandering under her. Then when it's at just the right place, she jumps down and kills it before it knows what to do." Holly grinned at me. "She's like a snake. A tree snake."

"I'm alright." I say. "I'm nothing special. I can't even throw a knife that well, I don't have good aim, and I can't use a bow like you." I nod at Katniss. "I just get lucky sometimes."

"Nothing special? Like hell! You could live in a tree for the entire games picking people off from above. Where will I be? Running? I can only do that for so long."

"You'll be with me, idiot." I say. "And you forgot that you have quick reflexes besides quick legs. A boy threw a rock at me two years ago and you caught it!"

"It was luck."

"No it wasn't!"

"This scene is familiar." Haymitch muses. "Ok, quit insisting on who's better than the other. The fact that you can hunt isn't something you should underestimate in the arena sweetheart." I try not to react to the nickname. "Especially if you need to get away from the Cornucopia as fast as possible. You'll just have to get your hands on a knife."

"Ok, now that we have a basic idea of what you can do…" Katniss says. "We're going to work with you separately."

"I want you to coach Holly." I blurt out. When Katniss gives me a strange look I say "The games are still fresh in your mind. And she'll need to know more strategies than me. Coach her."

Katniss nods "Alright."

Haymitch smirks at me "Guess you're stuck with me sweetheart."

…ugh… don't make me regret it so quickly.

**Katniss POV**

"So we're going to separate them?" I ask. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"No." Haymitch shakes his head. "They'll be right back together in the arena. But they both need to learn different things. Holly will need a lot of training in weapons while Willow will be trying to learn basic things."

"It's funny." I say. "I still hunt in the woods just like I did before… but I've never seen Willow once. That means she's good at hiding. If ever I've passed her when she's in a tree, she hasn't made a sound." I rub a hand over my face tiredly. It's hard knowing that one or both of them will be dead soon. I feel Haymitch's eyes on me.

"She reminds me of someone you know." He muses.

"Who?" I ask dumbly.

He smirks "The person who shares her nickname." He stands and takes a drink from the bottle in his back pocket. "You should get some rest, sweetheart."

I stare blankly after him. Willow reminds him of me?

No… not me… that person that I used to be before the games.

As far as I'm concerned those are two very different people now.

**Willow's POV**

"Have you seen the roof top?" Holly asks me as we leave the adults alone to talk.

"Nope." I shake my head.

"It's beautiful. Portia took me up there earlier. The view is breath taking." She gives me a look. "You want to see it?"

I want to say no but Holly looks so enthusiastic I have to say yes.

My breath catches in my throat when we reach the roof top. Below the capital lights sparkle like stars. Fallen stars. It's beautiful. There's so much energy here. Not like in District 12 where the electricity is off half the time.

"Told you it was beautiful." Holly murmurs.

"Yep, blindingly beautiful to hide pitch black evil." I mutter.

"Willow" Holly sighs. "You have to stop doing this."

"Doing what?" I ask, sullenly.

"Hating everyone in the capital when you haven't even met them." She says. "They're people with a different way of life that we don't understand."

"How can you possible understand the death of twenty three kids every year?" I snap.

"They're brain washed. It isn't there fault."

"I still hate them!"

"And that's what's going to destroy you!"

I stare at her and she lowers her voice.

"All this hate… I know why you feel it. But it's tearing you apart. I hate President Snow because he's the instigator of all this but I don't hate our stylists or the other people I've met." Holly sighs. "When you hate someone, who do you think it hurts most? Them or you?"

I don't answer her. I just press my lips together into a tight line.

"You." Holly answers her own question. "Every time."

"You're so gullible you know that?" I hiss through gritted. "So trusting. It will get you killed in the games."

Holly draws back like she's been slapped. Her eyes start to water before she sets her face like a stone and walks stiffly from the roof.

I whip my head back around to glare at the capitol lights, my hands gripping the railing in front of me.

Screw the Capitol. I want to win these games, just so I can say I did, just so that I can say that I beat the Capitol…

Then again, I guess the Capitol always wins.

**Holly's POV**

I try not to be angry at Willow the next morning but it's clear she doesn't want to talk with me. So I busy myself with eating and then go straight to training with Katniss.

"There will be a lot of things that you can do in the training center." She explains. "But you need to learn how to use a weapon. Stay away from whatever you're really good at in the center. Save your best skill for the private session."

Great, what was my best skill again? Running? That won't be very impressive.

"But it will be more than just using a weapon Holly." Katniss says. "Are you… are you prepared to kill in the arena?"

My breath hitches. Honestly, though I knew in the back of mind I would have to, I haven't thought about the fact that I might take someone's life. This scares me. I don't ever want to kill someone.

"Holly." Katniss senses my unease. I can tell that she thinks it's dangerous.

"In self defense." I finally say. "And to protect Willow."

Katniss sighs "You might be expected to do more Holly… you need to be prepared for that." I stare at the ground. It's a moment before she says "My first kill in the games was of two careers. You remember. I cut down a tracker jackers nest. It was gruesome." I could feel her eyes boring into me. "But I lived because of that."

"That was indirect." I say. "You didn't kill them yourself."

"True." She nodded. "But I did kill the boy from District 1 directly. He's the only one I killed directly. I felt bad, but he also killed people himself. Other kids in these games won't be as noble as you, and nobility won't get you home alive."

I privately think that I won't be going home. Willow is the one who will get home. But I don't say this out loud. I just nod.

"Learn to use a weapon." Katniss says. "Whatever you do."

"Ok," I agree. "What about alliances, Katniss? Outside of my sister I mean."

"Well I made an alliance with Rue." Katniss says slowly. "There is no reason why you shouldn't make a few alliances."

"With anyone?"

"With whoever will keep you alive." Katniss nods.

This brightens my spirits. I'll be able to prove to Willow that not everyone is out to get here in these games. Because she needs that.

More than she knows.

**Willow's POV**

"You're very icy today aren't you sweetheart?" Haymitch asks me in his usual sarcastic tone.

I shoot him a glare "Nope, happiest I've ever felt, what with getting to fight to the death for the entertainment of thousands."

Haymitch rolls his eyes. He's actually sober this morning, which is the bright spot.

"First of all," he says. "Stay away from knives. You can learn how to use a spear or a sword or something of that nature but you'll want to save knives for the private session. Do some basic things as well. They could keep you alive in the arena."

I nod. It's a simple enough strategy. "Right, stay away from knives."

"Don't sit with your sister until break. Let her go to the stations Katniss feels she should go to." Haymitch continues.

I nod again. This won't be so bad.

"And another thing… make some friends."

Correction: This will be horrible.

"Why?" I ask. "Holly and I are enough!"

"Not at all." He says. "Allies can keep you alive in the arena early on. Pick some that you can trust and you'll stand a better chance."

"I'm pretty sure I don't want to trust any of them." I snap. "They're trying to kill me."

"And you're trying to kill them" Haymitch says harshly. "So there shouldn't be any hard feelings."

I pause. He's right… everyone is fighting hard to kill each other if they want to get home.

"I still don't want friends." I say.

"Well you won't exactly attract them with your sunny personality." Haymitch says. "But it's not open for discussion. Make. Friends. I'm your mentor which means it's in your best interest to do what I say. There's one key difference between us sweetheart. I've made it through the arena and you haven't."

Again this is true. I glare at him viciously before saying "Fine… I'll try."

Haymitch grunts like he thinks I'm lying. Which maybe I am.

But no one can be trusted in this arena. Not the blood thirsty careers are the inexperienced tributes with no sponsors. The games have changed many tributes before. No one can be trusted.

Not even myself.

* * *

**Go angst! Angst is lots of fun, don't you agree? And by fun I mean depressing. Don't worry. We'll get to the meat of the story soon enough. Sayonara and REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5: Hidden Skill

**_A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Life kind of got in the way and I had to put this fanfiction on hold. Enjoy this chapter!_**

**Chapter 5: Hidden Skill**

**Willow's POV**

The training room is full of stations and tributes when Holly and I arrive. There is everything there, from knot tying to wrestling and fire starting to knife throwing. I look around for the mediocre stations that will teach me basic skills and I decide that it might be useful to start a fire without matches. I've never been good at that.

Despite Haymitch's insistence that I stay away from weapons I decide that later on I will try to throw a spear or an ax, just to have a broader range of things I can do. One year there were only maces for tributes to beat each other with, and another there were only sharp spears. The tributes ran around like barbarians, skewering everyone they saw. It had been a shorter games, and a bloodier one.

"See you at lunch." Holly says. "Good luck with training."

"Yeah, you too." I say before starting off towards the fire station. I'm accompanied by the girl and her older brother from 11.

The girl is only twelve and very small. Her older brother has much more in the size department. He looks like he must be twenty. It has to be horrible to be put into the games when you thought you were safe forever.

It's obvious that neither of them are good at starting fires even with matches. I've mastered making a fire with matches during the winter when I hunt but I'm not very good at working with just flint.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm helping them both with their matches for the next hour until they've mastered not only that, but are also very good at working with flint as well.

"So you're the tribute from twelve." The brother, who I find out is named Skeet, asks.

"Yes." I nod, not very good at making conversation.

"Your opening outfit was pretty." The girl, Sky, says. "I preferred it to the ugly things we had to wear."

"Yeah, it was nice." I am not good at girl talk, but whatever.

Still, I like these two. I'm thinking about asking them to be my allies. I spend the rest of the morning with time going around to the knot tying station and the edible plants station (Which I excel at, even though I'm supposed to look normal)

An hour before lunch break I think to look for Holly and see how she's doing.

I see her at the spear station just as the two twins from 1 are coming over. I tense automatically. It may not be a good idea for her to get into something with them.

"Is that your sister?" Sky asks.

"Yeah." I nod slowly. "Yeah that's my sister."

**Holly's POV**

Learn to use a weapon.

That was Katniss's main instruction to me so that's what I plan to do. But I don't think that I would be good with knives. Something tells me I'll need a longer weapon. But I quickly realize that swords and axes aren't too great either.

So I head to the spear station.

The long metal pull feels better in my hand than the other weapons and I have a good idea why.

When I was eleven the only weapons that the contestants could use were spears. It was the year before I was eligible to be reaped and got so afraid I thought I should learn to use a spear too. I used a broom handle and started to practice swinging it around. I have quick hands so I actually became very good at it. My friend Donna, was equally terrified, so we practiced together. Whenever Willow went out hunting, I tried to master a spear.

I never told her about it, or mom. And after two years I stopped practicing with a spear as I didn't get reaped.

But now I have been reaped. I have been reaped and the use of a spear suddenly seemed much more important.

I shift the shaft from hand to hand, trying to get a good grip on it when I see the twins from District 1 approaching the station.

Great they're going to upstage everyone.

The boy doesn't notice me, he just picks up two long metal poles and hands one to his sister. "Let's have a little match. What do you say Jade?"

Jade nods, smirking "I'll kick your ass Jasper."

"You wish."

I watch them in interest as they go up onto the platform and stand opposite each other. Many of the other tributes stop what they're doing to watch.

Jade levels her spear at Jasper, who grins tauntingly at her "Come on sis."

Jade lunges first and he twists out of the way, swinging his own rod around towards her back. She spins and blocks him before stabbing out at him again.

They're both fast. No doubt they will be high contenders in these games. A few of the game makers watch them with interest and jot down a few things.

Jasper ducks as Jade swings her staff at his head. As he does he kicks his foot out at her legs, knocking her off her feet. By the time she has recovered, he's pointing his spear at her neck.

"What were you saying about kicking my ass?"

"Shut up, you got lucky."

Jasper helps Jade to her feet. He looks around at all of the other watching tributes "Anyone else want some?"

"Sure." I can't believe that the word comes out of my mouth as I step up onto the platform, holding my own spear at the ready.

Jasper stares at me in surprise and cocks his head to the side "District 12?"

"Hi, nice to meet you."

What am I doing? He'll kill me, or at least humiliate me. It's been two years since I've practiced with one of these. What makes me think I can do it now?

Out of the corner of my eye I see Willow staring at me with wide eyes. Not just her, but everyone. Because I just accepted the challenge of career.

What is _wrong _with me?

Jasper seems confident that he will win. I'm confident he will too. He probably expects me to go down in a few seconds flat. It's possible.

He attacks first, swiping his makeshift spear at my side. I barely manage to block the strike. He follows with two more attempted blows, a blow to my head, which I deflect and a stab towards my stomach which I parry. I do have quick reflexes, as Willow says, but only when it comes to defense. I don't try to attack him. Then I will surely be beaten.

Japer seems to realize that I'm at least competent enough to block his strikes. So now he really starts trying. I try to keep my face indifferent as I dodge and block but I feel my hands clenching in a death grip around my spear. He's strong and every strike I block rattles me.

My hands are getting tired and I start trying to dodge his strikes instead, side stepping and ducking, trying to not let my body tense up. Willow always said that was the worst thing you could do. Tensing up limits your options.

But I'm starting to panic and my muscles want to clench up. I catch his spear with mine as he stabs it forward and twist it away from me before I spin the spear in my hand and try to stab at him. He ducks with ease and swings his staff at my legs. He catches me behind my knees and I fall on my back. A moment later I feel the blunt point of the spear resting against my neck.

I don't know exactly how long I lasted against him. Adrenalin slows time down and speeds it up at the same time. There is silence for a minute before Jasper draws back the spear from my neck and holds it out towards me instead.

"Who knew someone from 12 could actually hold up." He grins at me. I realize he means to help me up so I grab the spear shaft and he pulls me to my feet.

"What are you staring at?" Jade snaps at the other tributes. They quickly duck their heads and go back to their own stations. All except for Willow.

I know she can't wait to get an explanation from me.

"Where did you learn how to do that?"

Willow is on top of me before I sit down at the table for lunch.

"Well you know after that Hunger games when we were eleven I was scared!" I say quickly. "So I started trying to learn how to fight with a spear when you were out hunting. Mom would have gotten mad at me if she found out. It's been awhile but it kind of came back to me. I'm no good at attack though. Only defense."

"Why didn't you tell _me_?" Willow asks.

"I don't know…" I stare at the ground. "I guess I know what I'm doing during the private session huh?"

"No joke." Willow rubbed a hand over her face. "This is good. You'll be able to defend yourself. I'm happy Holly. I was afraid about that."

"I'm going to be fine." I say. "You worry about yourself."

"Of course she'll be fine." I jump at the sound of Jasper's voice as he sits down next to me. Willow tenses like an electric shock has been sent through her. I know that she's immediately skeptical about the careers. They are usually the large hunting party in the games. Jade sits on my other side.

"Can we sit here?" Jasper asks me.

Before Willow can say no I nod "Sure."

I glance over at the other careers who are watching us from the next table, mostly watching me. Something tells me these twins were sent by them.

"So where did you learn to handle a spear?" Jasper asks.

"A broom handle" I say. "I practiced with that a long time ago. It came back to me."

"Guess that works." Jasper says. He looks at Willow who is barely trying to contain her discomfort. "Got any skills yourself?"

"I have my own specialties." Willow says. "But I'm not going to tell _you_."

"Willow!" I snap. "Will you quit it? They're just being nice."

"Oh I'm sure."

Jasper rolls his eyes "Yeah, yeah, we're evil careers and all of that."

"Can't be trusted, we'll stab a knife in your back." Jade agrees with equal sarcasm. The twins have the same smirk.

"Anyway," Jasper stood. "We'll be keeping an eye on you. What's your name?"

"Holly." I answer.

"Alright Holly."

And then the twins are gone, walking back to their table of careers.

"Don't trust them Holly" Willow hisses.

"Just because they're careers doesn't mean they're monsters Willow." I glare at my sister. "It's the same with the Capital. Did you make any friends?"

"I like the brother and sister from eleven." I say.

"Well, I'll make my friends and you make yours." I say. "Make your own judgments and I'll make mine. You may think I'm gullible. But there's a difference between being gullible and _likeable_."

I feel bad for saying it. I hate hurting my sister.

Luckily lunch finishes just at that moment. I stand and clear my food, wanting to get back to training.

**Willow's POV**

Inevitably Haymitch and Katniss wanted to know how training went that day.

"Did you make friends?" Haymitch asks me first, his eyes narrowed.

"There's a brother and sister from eleven." I say. "I went with them to a few stations. I like them."

He seems surprised that I actually went through with his advice. Quite frankly I am too.

"How did it go learning to use a weapon today Holly?" Katniss asks. "Are you any good with anything?"

"Well she took to a spear pretty damn well" I say lightly.

Our mentors look at me in surprise, then to Holly who is flushing slightly at my slightly vicious tone.

"Really? How did that go?" Katniss asks.

Holly is reluctant and I nudge her, my face still bitter "Go on Holly. Tell them about the friends _you _made with your new little skill."

She shoots me a glare that says _'You're being childish.'_

I probably am but I don't care at the moment.

Finally Holly sighs "I faced off against the boy tribute from district 1."

There's no mistaking the surprise on Katniss's face. Even Haymitch looks astonished.

"Were you murdered?" he asks dryly.

"Oh no, she wasn't" I say lightly, picking at my food. "Held her own against him actually. Now those twins seem very interested in her. Probably very interested in putting a knife in her back when she isn't looking."

Holly stands abruptly from the table and strides from the room without another word.

Katniss turns her narrowed gaze on me "The last thing you can afford is fighting with your sister right now."

"But she's so trusting!" I burst out. "She's gullible. She'll trust anyone until they give her a good reason to dislike them! It's going to get her killed."

"Still, if the careers are looking to make and alliance with her," Haymitch says. "It could also keep her alive. At least until the field starts to wind down."

"That's not good enough." I stand. "I hate all of the careers. I won't get involved with them." I try to leave but Haymitch has gotten to his feet and caught my wrist.

"Listen sweetheart." He says, giving me a hard stare. "I know you're really angry right now but you need to suck it up. Your temper is going to cloud your mind in the arena. You'll lose focus and you'll _die_."

"Yeah" I sneer. "Because you know so much about a clear head don't you?"

His grip tightens on my wrist and he pulls me closer so that he's right in my face "Maybe I don't. I do know about winning the games though and right now I think I'll be seeing you die early on by the way you're acting sweetheart."

I flinch. I try to cover up my sudden fear with anger. "Don't call me that." I hiss. "Just stop calling me that."

When I pull away he lets me.

"Just get out of here." He says taking a swig from his wine glass. "I can't stand to look at your face right now."

I gladly go to my room slamming the door as I do.

I hate Haymitch for his words, I hate the careers for deceiving Holly, I hate the Capitol for watching the games for enjoyment.

And I hate myself for not being able to control it.

* * *

**_A/N: Be sure to review and tell me what you think!_**


	6. Chapter 6: Fiesty and Flirty

_**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews! We've got a lot of POVs in this chapter so read and enjoy!**_

**Chapter 6: Feisty and Flirty**

**Willow's POV**

I've never fought with my sister like this. And if Katniss is right about one thing, it's that this is a really bad time to start. We have to keep each other alive in the arena. Of course I'm sure Holly will be able to defend herself a lot better now with her newly acquired skill.

The next morning before training I force myself to confront her. I've always hated apologies. My temper and pride cause me to avoid them like the plague. But these are the Hunger Games. I have to break away from my usual routine.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." I say in barely a whisper. "I just… I'm on edge. And I think you should at least be a little bit suspicious of the careers. They're all fighting hard to win and they're better than us at fighting. They may end up killing us. Please just be careful."

A small smile comes across Holly's face "I'll be careful Willow. You do the same. I'm not as gullible as you might think." She glances at where the group of careers stand. "I don't trust the father and daughter from district 4 or really the couple from two. But the twins from 1 are better I think."

I want to tell her otherwise but restrain myself. "Alright." I turn towards the knot tying station. "See you at lunch?"

"Yeah."

* * *

The next few days we go about training at our separate stations. I mostly stick with Skeet and Sky. Despite my warnings I do see Holly go to several stations with Jasper and Jade. Even though I distrust them Holly seems to be picking up skills by watching them. She's becoming especially better with a spear as well. At least for now, it might not be so bad that she is with them. The arena will be a different story of course.

The day of the private sessions come and Holly looks pretty nervous. I am too. I may be ok with a knife but I have to be pretty good to get a high score. The boy from two is good with knives too, I've seen him throwing them at the targets a lot. I'm guessing that will be his choice weapon in the arena.

"Going to use a spear?" I ask Holly.

She nods "It's the only thing that will look good."

"Good luck."

"You too."

She heads into the room for her private session. Five minutes later when she comes out, it's my turn.

Inside the rooms there is equipment of every sort scattered over the floor. Dummies, targets, camouflage material, spears, knives, bows and arrows, everything. Off to the side of the room hangs a long rope that ends four feet off the ground and is attached to the rafters of the room. I suddenly know exactly what I can do.

I seize two knives from the rack and secure both on my belt. Then I leap onto the rack of spears and then onto the rope. I scurry up the long rope towards the ceiling, using the knots like I might use branches. I scale it in thirty seconds and end up on the rafters, twenty five feet above the room. I know the game makers are watching me as I jump from one rafter to the next so that I am right over the row of dummies. Then I take the knife from my belt and jump.

It took me awhile to learn how to leap from a high distance and land so that I don't hurt myself but after years of jumping from trees I have mastered it.

I land on one knee on the mat, slicing the throats of the dummies on either side of me. I waist no time before standing and stabbing them both in the eye before ducking under them and stabbing the next two dummies. I leave one of the knives in a dummies chest and throw my knife at the last dummy. It's a lucky shot as I hit the dummy in the forehead. Usually that wouldn't happen.

I turn to look at the game makers, most of whom are now watching me, glaring at them with all the hate I feel for the capitol.

"Thank you, you may go." The head game maker says after a pause.

I give stiff nod and walk quickly from the room

* * *

"So how badly did you two do today?" Haymitch asks at dinner.

"Alright" Holly shrugs. "I swung a spear around for a bit and took a few stabs at a dummy."

"Fine." I say.

Haymitch sighs, "Details sweetheart."

"I climbed up onto the rafters and massacred the row of dummies with a knife."

"Hmm." A smirk passes over Haymitch's face. "You didn't try and throw a knife at the game makers. That's good news."

"Why would I attack the game makers? I don't have a death wish" I say. "I mean I'm going to die anyway but still."

"I shot an arrow through the apple in a pigs mouth with the game makers didn't pay attention to me." Katniss says lightly. "That's why I got such a high score."

"What!" I stare. "Well damn, if I knew that I would have thrown a bunch of knives at the walls behind them."

"I would recommend against that." Haymitch sighs. "Well, good you two aren't hopeless. Hopefully this will get you both a good enough score to be noticed but not one that makes you everyone's target." He casts Katniss a glance and she sighs and rolls her eyes.

* * *

It's no surprise that the careers are score in the eight through ten range except for the girl from four who scores a seven. It's not very impressive but I have a feeling her boyfriend who got a ten would make up for that. Skeet ends up getting an eight because he's pretty good at handling a spear himself. Sky get's a six but I expected a low score because of her size.

Then Holly's score come up. An eight.

I'm astonished. That's a really good score, as high as the careers. I suddenly realize that she has made herself a contender in these games. Somehow, she might make it out.

Then my score comes up.

A ten.

Holy crap I got a ten… I didn't think my display was _that _impressive.

"Well then" I hear Jasper say from behind me. "Looks like the ice queen really _does _have a secret skill."

I shoot him a glare and he smirks back at me. God I hate that guy.

* * *

**Katniss's POV**

"They've set themselves up to be contenders." I say. "Now the only thing left is the interview."

"Yeah." Haymitch is staring absently at the drink in his hand, as if wondering if he can get away with another swig without me calling him out. He decides to go with the drink, tilting his head back and draining the contents of the bottle.

"Haymitch!" I snap. "It took you forever to come up with an angle for me, it might be hard to come up with an angle for them too."

"Relax sweetheart." Haymitch leans forward. "I already have a great idea of what I want them to do."

"Really?" I'm surprised he's even given it any thought.

"It wasn't hard for Holly." Haymitch explains. "If the girl has one thing really going for her it's her looks. She needs to sell those as much as she can."

"So what you want her to play a slut?" I say sourly.

"No, you're not listening to me sweetheart." Haymitch shakes his finger, a gesture that I force myself not to be angered by. "The other thing that she has going for her is how nice she is. The girl is so sweet and understanding it's almost sickening sometimes."

"Kindness isn't sickening."

"I didn't say that." He says. "She needs to play flirty. Showing off her looks without realizing she is. It will get her a boatload of sponsors. Look is everything in the capital." Haymitch leans back. "I've already talked to Cinna and Portia about this. He agreed to help with the angle when designing her outfit."

"So you're going to make me coach her to be flirty?" I did not like this idea at all.

"Well if _you _coach her, she might be in trouble. You have as much charm as a dead slug." Haymitch smirks unkindly at me and I flinch. "I think she'll be able to take the angle pretty naturally herself. She's good with people."

"Fine." I say. "What about Willow?"

"Feisty." Haymitch says. "Willow hates everything about the Capitol and she doesn't even try to hide it. She's very bitter. She can pull of snarky pretty well. Her size will contrast well with that too. No one will expect someone of her size to be so bitter."

"Why can she play sullen and bitter when I couldn't?" I ask, sourly.

"Because I didn't trust you to pull it off at the level that is required." Haymitch half grins. "Because she'll still be likeable as she does this angle. You wouldn't be at all."

I shoot him another glare "Fine! Flirty and Feisty! Just perfect!" I stand and start to leave.

"Sweetheart." Haymitch sighs deeply, like he's tired. "Calm down will you? You'll run yourself ragged by the end of the games if you keep up like this. Take it from me."

He pulls another bottle from his back pocket and takes a swig of the foul content. I don't try to stop him. Maybe he does deserve a drink.

"Get some rest." He tells me.

"Alright." I nod. "Alright… see you in the morning."

He grunts but says nothing more. I leave him to his late night drinking.

**Holly's POV**

I don't know how good I'll be at being flirty. I've never liked flirting much with guys though they seemed to like to flirt with me, but sponsors are sponsors and I can't afford to be picky. After all, Finnick Odair managed to win the games because he got so many gifts in the arena, all because of his looks. If I could pull this off here, Willow and I might stand more of a chance.

My dress is beautiful. The fabric is much like glowing candle light, probably the same material used on Katniss last year for the interview. But this dress is tighter fitting with a v neck and it ends just above my knees. It seems innocent but very attractive at the same time. Cinna knows how to make outfits that suit me.

Willow was anything but happy at the angle I was supposed to play but she is at least happy with her own approach. She gets to project all of her hate onto the capitol. She couldn't ask for more.

She is a black dress that glitters like coal might if it was beautiful. She looks great in it. The black mixes well with her olive colored skin.

The interviews begin with Jade from district 1. She has gone for a threatening beauty angle that she plays off very well. She probably isn't even acting that hard. She is pretty threatening from what I've seen of her.

Jasper is next. I've got to admit he is something of a looker in his interview outfit. He plays the interview as cocky.

"Seen any competition Jasper?" Caesar Flickerman asks winking.

"Oh sure, lots of competition." He let's his eyes run over the other tributes. "Luckily I like a challenge."

The audience loves him. He's a big contender for these games.

The other interviews come and go with surprising speed. Before I know it, it's my turn to go up on the stage. I'm grateful to sink into the interview chair as I am feeling very wobbly on my feet from nerves.

"And here's our first lovely District 12 tribute." Caesar says enthusiastically. "And what a dress she has, don't you all think?"

The crowd cheers in assent.

"Well Cinna does just a spectacular job" I say, gesturing to the dress. "He really is a master at what he does."

"Oh yes, I think that's obvious. You look absolutely stunning."

Caesar is a great host; I have to give him that. He can make the most boring person look spectacular. He really does try and help the tributes along.

"So an eight in your private session." Caesar says. "Not bad at all."

I toss my hair behind my shoulders and laugh in a way that I hope sounds flirtatious as a flush comes over my cheeks as it always does when someone compliments me "Thanks. I thought it was pretty good too."

"And high for a District 12 tribute. What did you do in there?" Caesar asks.

I place a finger over my lips and smile "Sorry, my lips are sealed."

The crowd sighs in disappointment and also laughs at my overly cutesy answer. I'm really playing it up but they take it all in.

Caesar continues to question me and I continue to answer everything in the same innocent and flirty way. Finally the topic of Willow comes up.

"What went through your head when your sister was picked?" Caesar asks.

I stare at the ground with pensiveness that is not at all fake "I was horrified. I remember thinking, why her? Why not me instead?" I sigh. "And then of course I ended up here anyway."

"It must have been a shock for you" Caesar says sympathetically.

"Yes, it was a shock." I say. "But there isn't a thing I can do but try very hard to win, and try very hard to help my sister win too."

The buzzer goes off and Caesar thanks me for the interview. I flash a winning smile and I think some of the crowd sighs. I blow them a kiss, then walk back to my seat.

Willow gives me a small grin before she is called up for her interview.

There's no doubt about it, Willow plays feisty and deadly with enormous skill. She doesn't even have to try. And I know that she's having the time of her life up there at the same time. She is snarky as she answers his questions but she gives off an air of _'Don't mess with me' _that I have to admire.

Inevitably Caesar asks "What was your reaction when you realized your sister would be joining you the arena."

"I thought it was the sickest thing." She growls. "Putting me against the one that I care more about than anything else." She has gone from snarky to deadly. "I love my sister, and I will always protect her. And _anyone _who hurts her in the arena will have me to deal with."

The threat hangs in the air for a pause before the buzzer goes off. Willow give Caesar a curt nod and leaves the stage. As me and the other tributes are instructed to go back towards the Training center I feel someone brush up next to me.

I turn to see Jasper. He has his trademark smirk on his face.

"Nice dress." He says before he goes in another direction with his sister.

"Thank you." I mumble but he is already out of sight.

I can't get a read on that guy.

**_A/N: Hope you liked it! Remember to review my lovelies!_**


	7. Chapter 7: The Games Begin

_**Sorry it's been so long. Schools a bitch, what can I say. Thanks for all of the reviews! Keep them coming! The games are about to begin!**_

**Chapter 7: The Games Begin**

**Holly's POV:**

I find Willow on the roof, the night before we are set to head out. Despite her hatred of the capitol, I know that she finds the view beautiful.

"I thought you'd be here." I say.

"You should be asleep." She replies without turning around.

"Well, so should you." I lean on the railing next to her. "So… are you ready for this?"

"Of course not." She shakes her head. "You?"

"Not in the slightest." I shrug. "But I don't know. Maybe I can use my charm to beat my opponents."

We both start laughing, more out of nervous energy than anything.

"This will probably be our last night in the world won't it?" Willow asks when she has calmed down, her voice growing suddenly solemn.

"Don't think like that." I say. "There's no need to think like that. You have to be optimistic. You have to believe that maybe we can both get out."

"Odds are we won't."

"I know but honestly Willow, can't you just forget about the odds?" I sigh. "Just survive. Just try."

"Only if you do the same."

A silence falls over the roof and for awhile we just listen to the hum of the city below.

"We should try to get sleep." I finally say, putting a hand on Willow's shoulder. "We need our rest."

"Yeah." She says. "I'll be right in."

"Ok."

**Willow's POV:**

The outfits we are put in for the games are short sleeved and light weight which will be good if there is heat, but not so good if the arena get's cold at night. But they will be good for running. They won't slow me down. The pants are long, strong material that will be good if I end up needing to climb something, and the shoes have good traction.

"Any more advice?" I ask Haymitch and Katniss before Holly and I head to the ship that will take us to the arena.

They glance at each other and look back "Stay alive."

Holly and I nod "Right."

"And get away from the cornucopia as fast as you can." Haymitch says. "Try to get your hands on a knife though Willow."

"I know." I say. "I will."

"Odds are they'll put you guys far away from each other on the metal plates." Katniss says. "But your main concern is to get away from the bloodbath. You two can find each other after that. Then you have to find water." She sighs and looks at both of us. "Good luck."

Too bad my luck has been sucking lately.

Cinna sits in the room with me on the way to the arena. I'm freaking out at this point and he can tell. I'm a bundle of stress and nerves. I didn't sleep well last night either.

"Do you want to eat something?" he asks. "Drink something?"

"Water." I say, knowing there might not be much in the arena.

We sit in silence as I take small sips of water. The ship jolts and I know that we are going the arena now. I swallow hard. I have to get my vicious face back on so that I will still look like someone who can win.

"Here" Cinna says stepping forward. He opens his hand and I see a gold pin in his palm, pin with a mocking jay on it.

"It was Katniss's district token." He said. "We made another one for Holly as well. She wanted you two to have them as you didn't bring a district token."

"Really?" I ask in surprise.

"Yes." He kneels down in front of me and fastens it on to my shirt. "I know you have no faith in yourself but she has faith in you. In both of you. Remember that."

"Right." I murmur. "Thank you for everything Cinna. The dress was beautiful. It really was. And Holly will tell you that I don't think that about many things."

"I was glad to be your stylist." He smiles.

I step onto the plate that will raise me up into the arena. I start to say goodbye but the glass closes around me and the platform begins to rise. Then Cinna is gone.

I'm in total darkness for about thirty seconds, enough time for me to start to panic. What is the arena going to be? There will have to be wood. One year there wasn't any wood for the tributes to make fires and half of them froze to death. If there are trees then I'll be able to climb. But if there's no food I might be screwed. I'll be able to hunt if there are animals though.

The light temporarily blinds me as the plate breaks into the arena. While I'm still disoriented, the voice of Seneca Crane brakes through the arena.

"_Let the 75__th__ hunger games begin!"_

I have sixty seconds to take in my surroundings. We are standing in a large clearing in the center of a forest. The trees stretch up to the sky, their great trunks thick and layered with branches. I can't help but feel joy flood through me at this. Trees. This is the place I can play in. This is the perfect arena for my Hunger Games.

In the distance, past the trees, is a rock face that juts up into the sky and flattens at the top. I see no water in sight, but there must be some hidden in the woods.

The tributes are spread in a wide ring around the cornucopia which is brimming with supplies. There are weapons of all kinds as well as containers, sleeping bags, bandages, water bottles… but no food. There isn't any food, not near the cornucopia and not far away… which means… there is another way to get food in this arena. There must be animals. I spot a set of two long knives near the cornucopia. They are undoubtedly the best I could get but I'll need to get them fast and then split.

Lastly, with ten seconds to go, I try to find Holly. She is as far away as she can from me. I'm tempted to run to her first but I remember that Haymitch said to get away from the cornucopia and then meet up.

Holly catches my eyes and nods, as if she's urging me to not hesitate to run.

Then the gong sounds.

I bolt from my plate and straight for the cornucopia where my knives of choice lay. Short bursts of speed are what I'm good at. I've grabbed my knives before half of the tributes are a few steps off the plate. I turn in time to see the male tribute from six stab out at me with a spear. I barely manage to parry his strike but he tackles me to the ground. I'm certain I'm going to die right there but he suddenly coughs up blood. He falls off me to reveal Skeet and Sky standing there. Skeet has shoved the blade of a short sword into the boy's back. He's surely dead.

"Thanks" I mutter.

Skeet grins and helps me to my feet. "No problem."

"Skeet look out!" Sky cries. She is knocked to the ground by the female tribute from four who goes for Skeet with a knife. He manages to dodge her and he pulls Sky to her feet.

"We can't get into this!" I cry as I knock the girl's knife away. "We have to get away! Run!"

We turn and sprint for the woods. The girl throws her knife but I am out of range. We run until we are several yards safe into the foliage and can barely hear the sounds of the battle behind us.

"Is everyone ok?" Skeet pants.

"I'm ok." I nod.

"S-Skeet?" Sky says shakily.

I turn slowly to see the girl, swaying on the spot, her hands clutching her middle. Blood is seeping through a long gash on her stomach, coating her hands in dark red blood.

"Sky!" Skeet runs to his sister and catches her as she falls. "Hang on Sky. It's ok. It will be ok." He slowly lowers her onto the ground and brushes the hair out of her face from where it sticks to her forehead, slick with sweat.

"S-Skeet." She repeats. "Skeet I'm sorry. The district two girl was about to stab you. I got in the way. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." He whispers soothingly. "Don't speak. You'll be ok."

I watch the scene numbly. My thoughts immediately turn to Holly and I feel sick with worry. Has she survived the blood bath?

Sky's wound is deep but it is a lower wound. She might last through the day, but probably not through the night.

"We need to get somewhere where we can hide." I murmur. "Carry her. We'll find a place."

Skeet nods, fighting tears, and gingerly lifts Sky into his arms, cradling her small form against his body.

By the time we find a small outcrop of rock to hide under and protect ourselves from the heat the shots of the blood bath have gone off. Five in total. This has been a light blood bath. I'm sure the boy that Skeet stabbed is among them, but I will have to wait until tonight to see if Holly has made it. The thought of her maybe already being dead makes me shiver and sweat at the same time. She could be wounded like Sky, maybe even stabbed in the back by a career. Maybe the twins from District 1. If she is dead, I will kill whoever did the deed slowly.

"Don't fall asleep Sky." Skeet is whispering. "Don't fall asleep ok?"

Sky just nods, her eyes watering with pain. Skeet grips her small hand in his.

"I'll stand guard" I murmur. "Stay with her."

I sit at the entrance to the outcrop that we have made our hiding spot, trying to focus on guarding and not on Holly or the dying girl behind me.

**Holly's POV:**

The gong sounds and I run for the cornucopia to pick up one of the many spears on the ground. I know that Willow will head for the woods behind her so the cornucopia is on the way. I will have to meet up with her as soon as I get away from the cornucopia.

My arm is caught by the hulking male tribute from seven who is wielding a large club. He looks down at me with a hint of sympathy in his eyes "Sorry."

"Me too." I whisper before kneeing him in between the legs. The tribute yells and throws me away from him. I stumble and fall to the ground. He growls and raises the club over my head before the point of a spear brakes through his chest.

"Winter!" the voice of a little boy cries.

"Run… Cinder…" the large boy chokes, blood spilling from his mouth in between words.

I don't see if the little boy get's away though. I just lie motionless on my back, stunned. The fall to the ground has knocked the wind out of me.

I lie there for a few minutes as the fighting continues around me. Maybe they think I'm dead. Though that's probably a little much to hope for. I should run but I can't make myself move. I'm still having trouble regaining my breath as it is.

A shadow suddenly falls over me and my eyes widen in panic. I seize the shaft of a spear that lies right behind me and swing it upward. The shaft is caught by a strong hand.

"You're very good at playing dead, you know that?"

"Jasper" I breathe. The blonde teen is smirking down at me. At first I think that he means to kill me. Instead he pulls on the spear still clutched in my hand and hauls me to my feet.

"You almost got yourself skewered." Jade says, appearing next to me. "You're lucky I was running by."

"Thank you." I murmur. So it was her who stabbed Winter. "What now?"

"What do you mean what now? We convinced the others to let you tag along with us Careers." Jasper grins.

"Really?" my eyes widen. "You're kidding."

"Nope." Jasper shakes his head. "Sorry for the short notice but my mentor said he would kill me if I did make an alliance with you but Hell, we're in the arena now, what can he do?" he holds out a hand. "So what do you say to an alliance, princess?"

The nickname catches me off guard. But I nod shakily and take his hand. It's not as if I can refuse and expect to live. "Yes. An alliance."

It's at that moment that the cannons of the blood bath go off. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Only five dead. This has been a light blood bath, which means the audience will be hungry for more bloodshed very soon.

Still, I don't see Willow's body among the dead. Which means she is still ok. That's a bright spot at least.

* * *

**_Hope you enjoyed! Please Review! I'll try to update sooner next time._**


	8. Chapter 8: Hunting

_**A/N: Next chapter! For those of you who wanted it there is a section in Haymitch's POV in this chapter as well as from Willow and Holly's POVs. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 8: Hunting**

_**Willow's POV**_

Sky gets progressively worse as the day wanes and Skeet's muttering gets progressively softer. Slowly he is losing even the faint hope that he has convinced himself exists.

When her cannon fires just before sunset I wince and close my eyes, refusing to shed tears. Crying at death will not get me sponsors. I must keep up the tough guise I put up in my interview.

I don't want to turn as Skeet slowly moves from the cave, Sky in his arms but I do anyway. Her once dark, rich skin has turned pallid from blood loss and her eyes are closed. Blood completely stains the front of her shirt and Skeet's hands. I'm sure he tried to stop the bleeding several times. Maybe he thought a sponsor might send him something.

No, the Capital wouldn't pitch their money in with a girl who had been injured in the blood bath. That was the sad truth.

Slowly Skeet lays Sky down on ground and straightens. "We should get into the cave." He says, his voice dull and cracked with pain. "So they can take her back."

"Right." I murmur. I follow him within our small hiding spot. Moments later we hear the loud hum of the Capital's machine and we see Sky plucked off of the ground. A flurry of her dark hair blowing in the wind is the last we see of her.

"We should rest here." I said after a long agonizing silence. Though I remember Haymitch's warning to find water I can't force Skeet to move with me when he's in this state. Besides, I can feel the temperature dropping rapidly. It will be best to stay in this warmer cave.

Skeet just nods and turns towards the wall to sleep. I guess that's a sign that he wants me to take first watch so I sit at the edge of the cave, wrapping my arms around myself. The anthem starts to play and I look up to the sky, my heart pounding. This where I see. This is where I see if Holly survived or not.

The first faces to appear in the sky are the boy and girl from district five. I don't remember how they were related really. Next the boy from district six, the one Skeet killed, appears, followed by the older brother from seven. I'm surprised I thought he would last awhile. It seems his little brother is still alive though. Then the mother from eight appears. Then at last, Sky who had still been with us only moments before. She is the last face to appear.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Holly has survived the first day. She's alive somewhere. Tomorrow I will have to find her.

But no, I can hear Haymitch's voice in my head already. _"If the audience sees you putting your sister ahead of survival already you aren't going to be a good bet for them sweetheart. Water first. Don't say I didn't warn you."_

I sigh and rub a hand over my face. As annoying as it is, I know that imaginary Haymitch is right.

I also realize that that sounds weird.

I've already lost a whole day waiting with Skeet and I'm sure the Career pack is on the move.

I can only hope that they go the opposite direction of both me and Holly until the sun rises.

* * *

_**Haymitch's POV**_

The first day has been interesting, I can't deny. I'm not exactly surprised that both sisters survived the blood bath, and I'm not surprised that Willow has completely ignored my advice to find water immediately.

It's Holly's alliance that has surprised me, and that's saying a lot. Maybe I expected the careers to stab her in the back the first chance they got, just like Willow thought. Maybe I didn't. I do know that I didn't expect the boy from 1 to offer the alliance when his mentor had even forbade him to.

Who knows, maybe Holly's looks are paying off even more than we originally thought.

The other thing that surprises me is that fact that she is currently in a better position to survive than waterless Willow. She has access to all of the water bottles at the cornucopia and Willow has wasted an entire_ day _at the same spot, not that far from the cornucopia.

She'll be lucky if the careers don't find her.

Then again, Holly might be able to save her sister if she invokes her apparently effective feminine charms.

The boy Willow has become allies with, not so much.

Now the sun has set on the first day and Katniss is about as calm as a live wire. She watches the careers movements like a hawk, rocking back and forth on her feet every time they draw near to their hiding place. It's only now that I remember just how young she is. When she gets nervous or angry her youth comes out more.

Pretty fascinating to watch for the only partially sober mind.

"They've past her hiding place by." Katniss breathes a sigh of relief and sinks onto the couch next to me. "She should be fine for the night."

Her hands are shaking. She'll be a wreck by the end of these games if she doesn't learn to pull it together.

"You need a drink sweetheart." I finally say.

She stares at me for a moment before she sighs. "That bad huh?"

"Worse." I say.

"I just… I really want…" Katniss is struggling to find the words so I complete the thought for her.

"You want them to win." I say. "I know sweetheart. I was the same way my first year after the hunger games and the years after that. I was convinced I could will them to live. No one was there to tell me otherwise." I take a swig of my drink. "You'll run yourself down if you think like that. In the end you have nothing to do with it. It's all them. You can't save them so don't act like you can."

Katniss swallows hard before she shakes her head. "Why do you always have to be right?"

I roll my eyes. "Oh don't worry sweetheart, I'm not. It's all the drink talking."

She starts to laugh but somehow she ends up crying instead. Her head falls into her hands as her shoulders begin to tremble.

There's the youth coming out again. The weakness. For a moment I can only stare at her before I place a hand on her shoulder.

"Easy, sweetheart."

She reaches up a hand to grab mine, holding on like her life depends on it.

You know that she's desperate when that happens.

* * *

**Holly's POV**

Hunting, was my one reservation about becoming allies with the careers but I would have become one of their immediate targets myself if I had voiced this concern. All I can do is hope that we don't run into Willow and hope that if we do I will be able to convince the others not to kill her.

Based on some of them though I'm not so sure. The father from two, Lance, makes me shiver every time he polishes the large sword he keeps with him at all times. His daughter, Briannte, isn't much better. She knows way too much about using a knife for a girl her age.

The boy from four, Pike, looks pretty eager for bloodshed himself though his girl friend, Azura, seems oddly squeamish for a Career. She got the lowest score of them all during the private sessions.

It is Jasper and Jade who I feel most comfortable around. I have no doubt that Jasper is the one who convinced the careers to let me tag along and Jade seems to support him on that decision. They're both nice enough and I'm not getting an "I'm going to stab you in the back" vibe from them.

Maybe I can relate to them in some way. After all, my twin sister is in the arena again too. Surely Jade and Jasper are facing the same dilemma realizing either one or both of them will die in this arena.

We rest the first day, going through our supplies and making a plan for the hunt. I mostly just listen. I don't want my mother or Walt to see me planning others death. I plan on avoiding murder as long as I possibly can in the arena.

When the sun sets, Lance rises to his feet. "Why put it off anymore? The Capitol will want bloodshed soon."

"Not to mention we have to find food somewhere." Pike says. "I can't believe that there's not one scrap of food here."

"_That will work well for Willow." _I think. _"Seems like this arena was made for her."_

"Don't worry about it." Jasper says. "This place is probably crawling with animals. No one wants to see all of the contestants starve to death. That's not much of a show."

"We have to eat _animals_?" Azura seems relatively disgusted by this.

So she's fine with killing people but not animals? That's a little weird.

The anthem plays and I look up to see the faces playing across the sky. The careers talk amongst themselves, claiming their kills with pride.

"Those two from five are mine." Pike grins. "They ran for each other first and I got them both, almost at the same time."

Azura smiles and leans her head against his shoulder as if this is in some way romantic.

The boy from six comes up and Jasper raises an eyebrow. "Who killed that one?"

"The boy from eleven." Briannte says. "Saw him run him through with a short sword. He might be a problem."

"The boy from seven is mine." Jade says. "He was distracted by our district 12 friend here so I stabbed him."

"Thanks for that again." I murmur.

"Meh, no problem." Jade shrugs.

Lance claims the mother from eight as his kill and when the little girl from eleven comes up, the girl Willow said she was going to ally with, Briannte grins proudly.

"I knew she wasn't going to last long. I got her good across the stomach. Guess she died of blood loss." She says.

"That's my girl." Lance pats her on the back.

I swallow past the sickened lump in my throat.

"Well that's only six dead." Jade says. "We have our work cut out for us. Eleven others to kill."

"_Ten" _I think. "_Not Willow. Willow will not die."_

"Let's head out." Jasper says. He gets to his feet and holds out his hand to me. "You coming? We could use your spear."

"Yes." I say taking his hand and letting him pull me up. "But shouldn't someone stay behind to guard the cornucopia?"

"Oh, so there's a brain behind the pretty face." Lance sneers.

I flinch but make an effort to keep my face hard.

"She's right though." Jasper says. "Look, we'll take turns. District four, you two stay behind tonight and guard. The rest of us will go on the hunt."

Pike seems disappointed with this, though Azura seems less so.

"Get over it." Briannte rolls her eyes. "You already got two kills today. You've had your fun."

"Whatever." Pike rolls his eyes.

I feel my heart sink a little. I had been hoping to be one of those who stayed behind. But there's nothing I can do about it now.

Instead I just follow the others as we venture into the woods, looking for the first kill.

It's the mother's daughter from eight that we find, huddled at the base of a tree, shivering like mad. I can still see moisture on her cheeks from tears.

The lump in my throat is hard as I watch her. We can't kill her, we just can't. She's too young, only eleven.

"I'll take this one." Lance says. "I killed her mother. Only fair that I finish the job."

I try to hide the horror on my face. Jasper casts a brief glance at me and I hope he can't see my revulsion. If I'm seen as a weakness to the group they might kill me. Then he looks back to Lance. "Go ahead."

Lance creeps through the trees with great stealth for someone of his size, circling around to behind the where the girl leans against a tree. I want to look away but eyes are drawn to the scene.

Lance is right behind her when he says, "Hello little one."

The girl is on her feet in an instant, opening her mouth to cry out. His hand is over her mouth before she can utter a sound, and his other arm is around her middle, holding her still.

"Shh, shh, shh." He coos softly in her ear. "You know screaming won't do you any good, District 8. I'll still kill you anyway."

My stomach rolls. Why can't he just kill her and be done with it? Why does he have to taunt her like this?

Lance takes his hand away from the girl's mouth and moves to take his sword from his belt. The girl starts pleading as soon as she can speak again.

"P-please, no. Please don't kill me." She whimpers. Lance chuckles and pulls his blade upwards. He strokes the point of the blade down her face, just gently enough not to draw blood.

"You know I think your mother said exactly the same thing little one." Lance says.

"Y-you killed her. You killed my mom." The girl gasps.

"Mm hmm." Lance holds the blade level with her throat now. "Just like… I'm going… to kill… you."

The girl's eyes bug as he drew the sword sharply across her throat. There is a spray of blood and Lance lets the girl drop limply to the ground. He flicks blood off of his sword and moves back towards us, to allow the body to be taken away. I take a few steps back from him as he does.

When the time comes for the careers to turn on one another, I don't want him to be the one who gets a hold of me.

"Let's move on!" he calls when the body has been taken. "The more we can kill the better."

I shiver and follow the career pack, wishing desperately for Willow's company in this moment.

* * *

_**Lance is a bit of a sadist if you haven't noticed. I love writing Katniss and Haymitch's POVs too. Hope you liked this chapter! REVIEW please!**_


	9. Chapter 9: First Kill

**_A/N: Thanks for the Reviews! I'm so excited for the Hunger Games movie. The trailer was incredible! March 23 can't come fast enough. Enjoy and Review!_**

**Chapter 9: First Kill**

I hope Haymitch is happy when I make the executive decision that Skeet and I will have to find water before we find Holly. I'm sure she's doing the same thing of course. She's always been one for listening to other people, particularly adults.

Me, not as much.

But as much as I hate to admit it, I know that listening to Haymitch can keep me alive in these games.

Skeet agrees with my decision to find water. He's better now that he has slept. He's not in a zombie state anymore at least. I think he's alert enough to be of some use in a fight if we get into one.

"Did you hear the cannon last night?" Skeet asks as we walk.

"No." I say, a stab of panic going immediately through my heart. What if the cannon belonged to Holly?

"It was during my watch. You were sleeping like a rock." Skeet says. "Means someone else is gone. Seven dead."

"Seventeen to go." I murmur. "This is a slow games don't you think? Usually there are more dead by now."

"I'm not complaining." Skeet says. "Seeing as I'm alive."

"_But your sister isn't_." I think. "We'll walk all day, no matter how tired we get. We need to find water or neither of us will be alive for very long."

"Right." He says. "Fine by me."

For the first half of the day, we say very little. We just trudge along, weaving our way through trees and avoiding large nests that most likely contain tracker jackers. I remember last year's games when Katniss killed two careers by dropping a nest down onto them. I definitely don't want to end up like one of those girls. I'm hoping that when I go, it won't be so gruesome.

It's the second half of the day when Skeet's eyes brighten and he runs for a tall tree.

"What is it?" I ask.

"This tree, they grow in district 11." Skeet says. "If we drill into it…" He shrugs the back pack he recovered at the cornucopia off of his shoulder. He rummages through for a few moments before coming up with some sort of cup and a thin rod that looks like it's supposed to be a drill. "Hold this." He hands the cup to me and kneels down in front of the tree to set to work with the drill. I have no idea what he's doing so I just watch.

It's a long process, drilling a hole in the tree but when he reaches what he is looking for we are rewarded. I see a tiny stream of liquid seep from the tree. I lean closer. "Is that…?"

Skeet dips his finger in the stream and brings it to his lips. He beams like a child who's found a piece of candy. "Yes. Water." He holds out his hand. "Give me the cup. Hurry!"

I do, my eyes wide. I can't believe my luck that my ally knows plants so well. He's managed to find was water with the tree. Even if there are other sources of water, it might've taken us too long to find them.

Skeet removes the drill and holds the cup to the hole as water begins to pour out. He dips down and puts his mouth to it, drinking deep gulps. After a few moments he steps aside and lets me drink. We take turns like this for a long while, drinking out fill of water, before Skeet fills two empty water skins that Sky recovered in her own small pack. He returns the drill and cup to the back pack and hands me a water skin.

"There's our water problem solved." He grins.

"Skeet you are a genius." I say. "So you know this tree from being in District 11."

"Yes," He says. "During the heat of the day when we're harvesting we don't have time to always get drink from home. We get water from the trees. Nice fresh water. It's a little warm sometimes but it works."

"Yeah." I sit down at the base of the tree, completely keen on resting now that my first goal has been achieved. "What's it like there?"

"About how you would think it is." Skeet says. "Oppressive and centered around harvesting. That's what everything focuses on, our school our home life, everything. During the harvest season we don't even go to school. Everyone works."

"Oh." I say. I know I wouldn't like to do that. Working all day doesn't seem like my style.

"What about in District 12?" He asks. "Mines right?"

"Yeah, the men work in the mines." I say. "I guess it's not so bad once you get used to the soot."

"Do people ever… die in there?" He asks tentatively.

I wince. "Sometimes if they aren't doing something right. But there's only been one large accident when I was alive. A lot of miners died in that one."

"Anyone you knew?" Skeet asks. His curiosity makes me uncomfortable. I don't exactly want to bear my soul to the audience. Then again the camera probably isn't on me. They wouldn't want the other districts hearing our conversation.

"My father." I say. "He died."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Skeet shifts uncomfortably. "My father's not dead but my mother is. She uh… tried to sneak out some extra fruit for us. Times were tough and she had been doing it for awhile." He looks down. "But they caught her and they shot her in front of the whole District."

I stare at him. "That's awful." Next to that my father's death seems so much easier. It wasn't in front of me. I didn't watch him die.

"Sky was only four at the time. She doesn't even remember her." Skeet murmurs.

"My little brother Walt was young too." I nod. "Three. He always asks about him. It can get a little annoying sometimes." I'm trying to lighten the mood. It's not working.

"Yeah." Skeet says. "Speaking of siblings, don't you want to find your sister?"

"Right!" I'm on my feet in a second, glad for this change of subject. "Now that we have water, that's my next focus."

"And food." Skeet says.

I sigh. "Oh right, and food." As I remember this my stomach growls. I've been so hyped up from yesterday I haven't even noticed how hungry I am. "I'll see if I can find something on the way. Surely there must be animals here."

"Can you hunt?" Skeet asks.

"Yep." I tap the hilt of my knives. "That's the one thing I can do pretty well."

"Alright." He says. "So which way should we go?"

"Wherever Holly will look for me." I chew on my lip. "Let's see…" I spot a tree with low hanging branches and I leap onto the first one. "Stay here! I'll be right back down!"

I scurry up the tree with practiced ease, hoping that my potential sponsors are watching me.

"_Look at me! I can climb! Give me stuff!"_

I reach the top and I am able to see out over the arena, all the way to the great rocky plateau that juts up into the sky. I can see two black dots on the side of it, people scaling the rock. It seems many of the players are converging on that point. If I were Holly I would go there because she knows I love to climb. I grin and scurry back down the tree trunk but stop as I hear a voice that doesn't belong to Skeet below me.

"I know you killed him, I saw you."

"Who are you?" Skeet asked, I could see his head below me. He had his sword out and at the ready.

"I'm the other tribute from district 6." The other boy's voice growled. "The boy you killed was my best friend. He had been since we were five. And you ran him through in the blood bath!"

"He was about to kill one of my friends." Skeet said. "What choice did I have?"

"Maybe you didn't. I don't care!" The District 6 boy snapped. "But these are the hunger games and I'm going to win for him. Whether you killed him or not doesn't help you. I'm still going to kill you! And after that I'll kill your friend wherever she is."

"You will try." Skeet, twirled his sword around in his hand grimly.

I drew my knife slowly from my belt and grasped it tightly in my hand. _"Move Skeet." _I thought. _"Just get him to come under the tree. Come on."_

For the first time in my life I am anticipating killing someone. It's frightening, yet it makes me feel powerful. Just like how I felt hunting animals. _"Yes, it's just like hunting an animal." _I swallow hard. _"The same way. Just forget… just forget he's a person to save Skeet."_

The boy from District 6 lunges. I guess that Skeet has read my mind because he moves out of the way at the last possible second, leaving the boy from District 6 under me. He stops, panting and turns around.

"You're quick huh." He growls. "But you're not going to outrun me forever. I'm bigger than you."

"Size doesn't matter much when you have the higher ground." Skeet says.

"You don't have the higher ground idiot! You're down hill!" District 6 shouts.

"I wasn't talking about me." Skeet growls.

That's my cue, so I dispel any thoughts of this boy being human and I drop with practiced precision through the trees. There is a wet slicing noise and a gurgle just before I land in a crouch. District 6's body falls beside me seconds later.

My attack has been accurate. When my eyes run over his body I see a neat slash on his throat, oozing blood. The life has already left his eyes.

A cannon fires and straighten slowly, swallowing hard. My first kill. I've killed a person in the games.

"Good God." Skeet blinks. "That's… that's what you did in the private session isn't it?"

I swipe my knife out to the side, flicking off excess blood. "Yeah it is."

In the ensuing silence a parachute floats down and lands between us. We look at the box and then look at each other.

"Who's it for?" I ask.

"I think… it's for both of us." Skeet says. He takes the package and opens it up. Inside are crackers and dried strips of beef. He smiles and holds them up. "Sustenance. I guess we're contenders in these games."

"Yeah," I say, trying to forget the face of the dead boy at my feet. "I know where to go. We head for the plateau. I have a feeling Holly's heading the same way."

"Alright." He says. "Let's go."

_**Katniss' POV**_

"Her first kill." I say, rubbing a hand over my face. "It will get her noticed this early in the games."

"Especially with her unique methods." Haymitch says. "She just took out a guy twice her size. People _love _seeing that. The smaller one who's a deadly killer."

I cast him a glare. "Are you supporting this?"

"Her early on kill? Yes." Haymitch says. "It could help her stay alive and get her sponsors. We were able to send them food already, even though Chaff and I combined the money. She'll have to kill eventually if she lasts. She might as well get over that fact now."

"I know I just…" I sit down next to him. "I killed three people in the arena. Two indirectly, one directly. Just that still haunts me, even though they were all careers. It will haunt her too."

"If she survives." Haymitch reminds me.

"Shut up." I groan, rubbing a hand over my face.

A smirk steals over his face. "Don't let yourself get optimistic yet. She has a long way to go. And a lot of people to kill." His smirk fades and he looks to the bottle in his hand. "Including her sister."

"I know." I whisper. "I know."

Haymitch holds out a glass of what must be pure alcohol. "Here."

I would normally push the glass away and tell him we need to focus. This time I take the offer and drain the burning liquid in a few gulps. He smirks again.

"You're catching on sweetheart."

I slap him lightly on the arm and hold out the cup to be refilled.

* * *

_**We'll have more Holly next chapter. Keep the reviews coming please. I'm on Thanksgiving break so if I get enough I'll update sooner! Happy Thanksgiving!**_


	10. Chapter 10: Mercy

****_**A/N: Well... its been awhile... my bad... But I do like these next few chapters here and hopefully you will too. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 10: Mercy**

**Holly's POV**

Maybe the Careers enjoy a nightly hunt better because we don't do much hunting for people during the day. Food is another story. Jasper and Jade have gotten food from sponsors already but it isn't enough to feed the whole group. I've gone without food as I am more used to hunger than they are.

"We've tried hunting but all of the animals, the dear, the squirrels, they see us coming from miles away." Pike mutters.

"Probably because you're tromping around like a horse." Jade says.

Pike makes a growling noise in his throat and takes a step forward. Jasper intercedes. "Look, there's no use arguing. We'll just have to figure out a way to be quieter."

"If only we had Willow." I murmur, more to myself than anyone. Jasper still over hears me.

"The ice queen huh?" he says. "She can hunt?"

"Uh… yes." I say. "I'm sure she's not having trouble at all."

"Really?" Lance sneers. "And where is this amazing sister of yours?"

"Somewhere in the woods." I say. "That's about all I know."

"Well we'll have to hope we don't kill her if we stumble across her." Lance smirks.

I stand. "You do not kill my sister."

"Trying to tell me what to do darling?" Lance's eyes narrow dangerously. I take a step back from his hulking form. "You're not going to want to do that."

I feel Jasper's hand on my shoulder. "Back off Lance."

Lance's eyes narrow dangerously but this time he listens. He moves back over to where his daughter sits, looking on me with equally narrowed eyes.

Yes, allies or not, I know that they are my enemies in these games.

"Why don't we try our hand at hunting huh Jade?" Jasper looks back at his sister. She grins and nods. I feel him squeeze my shoulder. "How about you Princess?"

I feel the heat rise to my face at the nickname. "Yes." Relief also fills me at this invitation. I don't want to be left alone with the group that probably doesn't like me quite as much.

"Maybe we can make a little less noise." Jade shoots Pike a challenging look before picking up her spear. She doesn't seem to mind the thought of possibly making enemies. Maybe she likes a challenge just like her brother.

I pick up my spear as well and follow them into the woods.

"Let's split up into two groups." Jasper suggests. "So we cover more ground. We'll have a better chance of finding food that way."

"Sure." Jade says. "I'll go alone. I don't need anyone to protect me."

"Neither do I." I mutter.

"Hey, maybe not." Jade shrugs and winks. "But I'd like to hold myself higher than you for the sake of my pride District 12."

I can't tell if the comment is meant to be back handed or joking but I give a smile. "You know us District 12 people. We're used to it."

She laughs, looking glad that I've taken this comment well, then she creeps off to the left.

"Well then." Jasper says. "Have you picked up any of that hunting skill from your sister?"

"Not really." I say. "But no better time to learn than now."

The animals seem to be hiding from us but we look on anyway. A few times I see a squirrel crash through the trees but it disappears again before we can even think about trying to go after it.

"Maybe they want us to revert to cannibalism." Jasper muses after a moment.

My stomach rolls. "I _really _hope not."

"Ah, don't worry, it was a joke." He waves his hand. "I'm sure there are plenty of animals in here for us to find."

"Maybe we should set traps." I say. "Did you go to that station?"

"Yes, I think that Briannte is pretty good with them. We'll ask her when we go back." He says.

"Ok." I pause before asking my next question. "Jasper… If you don't mind me asking… why did you decide to keep me alive?"

"You're handy with a spear." He says simply.

"Yeah well so is your sister and you. You are all good with weapons." I say.

Jasper casts me an amused glance over his shoulder. "Do you want me to kill you now princess?"

"No." I say softly.

Jasper laughs and shakes his head. "Hey, we take what we can get, even if we are careers. Every bit helps. Plus we may end up needing you sister to hunt right? Maybe she'll run into us."

"I think she'll be avoiding us actually." I say. "But I guess that makes sense."

"Don't worry about the reasons. What happens now doesn't really matter." He says. "After all, only one of us is getting out alive in this whole arena. For most of us it's just postponing death as long as we can." He looks back out and the forest. "Enjoy it why it lasts Princess."

"Right." I murmur.

I hear a chatter above us and I stop and look up. There is a squirrel in the leaves above us, looking down. "Jasper look." I say.

He does and grins. "Looks like he's watching us." He raises his spear a little, observing the squirrel. "Let's see if I can spear him."

There's another rustle and I see another squirrel. Then a third. "Um… Jasper there're more."

"More meat then." He says.

"No, Jasper, this isn't right. They're…" I see more appear. "They're surrounding us."

He get's this point almost a second too late before the first squirrel gives a shrieking cry, barring razor sharp teeth. Then they all lunge.

We swing our spears on instinct at everything that moves towards us. Everything is a blur of brown furry bodies from hell for a long moment. There are so many of them, dropping from the trees like rain. How can there have been so many hidden up there? I don't have time to consider the answer. I just keep on swinging. Several times I hit a squirrel, more out of luck than anything, and send it spinning to the ground. They're small targets and not easy to hit. It's only their sheer numbers that earn me so many kills. Pain burns through my shoulder as one squirrel sinks its teeth deep into my arm and I cry out, my eyes watering. It's teeth are sharp and cut right through my skin like knives.

"Hey!" Jasper spears the squirrel right off of me and flings it away. It is suddenly quiet as the few surviving squirrels scamper off into the trees, finally realizing that the odds are not in their favor. I sink to the ground, a hand over my wounded shoulder.

"Damn mutts." Jasper mutters before he kneels down next to me. "Hey, you ok there Princess?"

"Just a bite." I nod, removing my hand to let him see.

"Hmm," He pulls back my sleeve and I wince as it scrapes over the wound. He tries to go slower now, making sure not to hurt me too badly. "Well it doesn't seem like it's oozing anything unnatural. Just blood. I don't think they're venomous."

"Good." I exhale. I was worried for a moment that that might be the case. Anything can happen in the arena.

"Here, I think I have something in my bag for that." Jasper shrugs off his back pack, now littered with the tooth marks of the squirrels from hell. He pulls out a roll of what looks like bandages. "Yep, thought so. Hold out your arm."

I do and he wraps the wound with a gentleness I didn't quite expect from his strong hands. His fingers work nimbly, barely causing me any pain at all. It's only when he ties the bandage with a defining tug that I wince.

"There. How does that feel?" he says, taking his hands away.

"As good as it can," I say. "Thanks."

"No problem." He stands and cocks his head to the side. "Holly do you hear something?"

I stand as well, listening. I'm afraid that the squirrels are coming back but I do not hear them. I do hear a soft whimpering somewhere in the trees.

"Someone else got caught in it." I say.

Jasper nods and we move towards the whimpering.

We find the source of the sound not far from us. A girl is lying in a clump of bushes. There is blood around her and seeping from several gashes all over her body. They have left her but she is in serious pain. There will be no recovering for this.

She sees Jasper and she cries out and tries to move away. She only ends up on her back again, panting heavily. "N-no."

"Don't move." Jasper says, kneeling down next to her. "You'll only hurt yourself more you know."

"D-don't want to die." The girl whimpers, eyeing his spear. She clearly hasn't seen herself because if she had she would know that death is inevitable.

"Whether I kill you or not, there's no avoiding it." Jasper says. "You've lost too much blood. If we leave you here it might be awhile before you die but you won't be able to stop it. Plus the squirrels might come back."

The girl's eyes widen fearfully. "N-no more."

"Shh." He says. "It's alright. I know you don't want to die, but you do know that it's going to happen don't you?"

There's a pause before the girl gives a weak nod.

Jasper gives her a kind smile that I didn't know could appear on his face. "I can make it quick for you. Do you want me to do that?"

The girl's eyes flicker with fear and thought as she considers this. Finally she whimpers and nods, closing her eyes. "Please don't make it hurt."

"I won't." He stands and levels his spear with her neck. "It'll be over soon. Just keep your eyes closed." He gives her a moment to relax before he thrusts his spear into her throat. Her eyes fly open for only a second before the life fades from them. Her cannon fires.

Jasper pulls his spear from her throat and beckons me away from the clearing so that the Capitol can pick her up. We move in silence back to the clearing where the dead squirrels still lay. The hum of the Capital's hover craft echoes behind us.

"That was the girl from 7." I murmur. "Didn't she come with her father? Where is he?"

"They must have gotten separated." Jasper says. He sets about picking up the dead squirrels by the tails. I stare at him blankly for a moment before he looks back over his shoulder. "You gonna help me Princess? We want to carry as much meat as possible back to the others. I'm pretty sure Pike eats a lot."

"Uh, right." I bend down and quickly pick up the squirrels along with him.

I'm surprised, though I don't know why, that he was so kind in killing the girl.

He does seem different then most of the careers I've watched on the screen, and most of the careers I have surrounded myself with now.

* * *

**Haymitch's POV**

I've been successfully avoiding the district 1 coach, Granite for the entirety of the games. Mostly because I know he _hates _his tribute's decision to take on Holly, consequently hating her, consequently hating me, her mentor. I'm sure he thinks I encouraged the alliance in some way even though I was completely blindsided by it.

It's in the common room when I've gone to dinner (Under Katniss' strict orders) that he appears out of nowhere.

"Interesting alliances these games, don't you think?" Granite says.

I eye him warily. He's a hulking man, taller and wider than myself. Fighting between mentors is forbidden but forbidden can sometimes be a… loose term. There have been fights many times though usually I manage to avoid them.

"Fascinating." I opt to reply. "Something you needed?"

"Oh, no." Granite says lightly. "Did you happen to see them both almost get killed?"

"Neither of them came close to death, I don't know what you're talking about." I say.

"Maybe not, but that girl seems to be making that boy go softer than he should." Granite says. "And if that gets him killed, I won't be pleased."

"Interesting thought." I say, turning away. I have to admit that the District 1 boy is surprising me as well. He and his sister are a little less savage than the typical career. Maybe it's because no volunteers were accepted this year.

Granite doesn't seem to like my attempt at ignoring him because he seizes my shoulder. "Don't turn away from me Abernanthy."

I start to feel an uncontrollable urge to sink my fist into his face but I have a feeling that won't end up well.

"I have no connection to the little alliance our tributes decided to form." I say. "So _if _your so called soft tribute survives you'll have plenty of time to yell at him."

I've predicted the fist that soars towards my head following my comment and I manage to duck away from it, shaking his grip from my shoulder and taking a few safe steps back. I'm not in the shape to fight. I've been drinking way to long for that.

But alcohol never dulls the temper, and unfortunately that has never died in me.

Granite is clearly about to lunge at me when Finnick suddenly stands in between. "Stand down, Granite." He says, his face wearing a rare serious look. "It's not worth it to fight. Both of your tributes are still alive so get over it."

Finnick is by no means as big as Granite but no one can doubt his strength or skill. He's respected amongst mentors even though he's not the most serious of men. Granite makes a growling noise in his throat and stalks from the room.

Finnick turns to me, his usual smirk that everyone finds so charming back on his face. "You're welcome."

I grunt in response. Finnick is by far not my favorite mentor. His personality really grates on me after awhile, as does his youth compared to most of us. But there are moments when he is bearable. This is one of them.

"Just watch him will you Haymitch?" he looks off in the direction where Granite has disappeared. "He can't place the blame on anyone but you, and the other mentor. What was her name again?"

"Katniss." I answer. "And I will. I know all about his temper. I've worked these games much longer than you."

"No argument there." Finnick says.

Katniss is suddenly in the room, panting as if she's just run several miles. She clutches the door frame for support. "Haymitch. Come quickly."

Oh that can't be good.

* * *

**_Hope you enjoyed. Review!_  
**


	11. Chapter 11: Avalanche

_**A/N:**__**I know its been awhile again... I get sporadic. But since Catching Fire is coming out soon, I really should try to update this more often. Anyway, this is a semi exciting chapter. Mostly a Willow chapter since Holly had a big chapter last time. Enjoy and review!**_

**Chapter 11: Avalanche**

I see a dear dart past us as we walk towards the rocky plateau and my heart rises with relief. We have food for now but once it is gone I will need to hunt. The deer gives me hope. Maybe not hope for survival but hope for lasting longer into these games.

"So you can take down one of those dear?" Skeet asks.

"Yeah, if I'm quiet enough." I say. "They're hard to stalk because of their big ears but they're easy to hit or at least injure. Smaller animals are the hardest since I have to be really precise but with big animals can flail and kick you if you don't hit them at the right spot."

"What is the right spot exactly?" he asks.

"The neck." I tap my throat. "A deep slice on the throat takes them out in seconds. They can sometimes flail but if your fast enough you can get out of range of any claws or hooves. If I get a good angle it always helps if I can spear them through the eye too. Goes right into their brain."

"Huh." Skeet makes a face. "We don't eat much meat in District 11. Kind of sounds… disgusting. Hunting does at least."

"You get used to it." I say. I look around. "Well, let's see. Where are we?"

"Don't know. I was following you." Skeet says.

"I should check before we go any further." I look around for a good tree but most of them have to high bottom branches for me to climb. I hold out my hand. "Here, give me your sword."

He hands it over and I plunge the blade into one of the tree and use it as my first foothold to jump up onto the lowest branch. "There we go." I grab the sword and pull it up me. "I'm just going to use this in case I need more footholds further up."

"Go ahead." He says.

I climb up as high as I can without fearing falling. I'm small enough that I can balance on thin branches but I don't want to take a risk this high up. Finally I can see far enough to see we are very close to the rocky plateau. It shouldn't take us much longer on foot to reach it. I am a little disappointed I haven't run into Holly yet and I once again fear that maybe she was one of the ones killed.

But no. There have only been two cannons fired in the last two days since the blood bath. One of which I know for sure isn't Holly. The other I'm not sure. Still the low death count probably means the Capitol will want more bloodshed soon. I try not to think of this though.

I hear a deep rumbling in the distance and I look back towards the plateau. I see on one side, far away from us, a huge cloud of dust billowing up as one side of the rocky face crumbles as if it were bits of wet paper. But I know better. I know that this is one of the Capitol's tricks. A rock face doesn't just crumble on its own. It takes some kind of explosive. I watch in wonder for a long time before the rumbling stops. A cannon fires and I know that someone else is now dead.

"_Not Holly_. _Please not Holly_." I think as I do when I hear any cannon.

It's suddenly that I remember something I learned in school in District 12, and remember what happened in the accident that claimed my father's life. They always told us that one explosion was never just one collapse. There could always be aftershocks that led to collapses in other places. That's what happened when my father died. An explosion lead to a collapse in an abandon tunnel and they didn't evacuate. The second explosion claimed the lives of so many miners, my dad included.

So why couldn't the same thing happen now in this engineered arena?

I scramble down the tree, back towards Skeet. "Skeet!" I call out. "Hurry!"

"What?" He asks, looking around quickly. "Do you see careers?"

"No, but you have to climb." I say. "Trust me. There will be another."

"Another what?" he asks.

"An avalanche. Skeet-"

I stop at the sound of a deep, thunderous roar. This time it is not in the distance but headed right towards us.

"Skeet CLIMB!" I yell.

He now realizes just how urgent this is and he scrambles to pull himself up onto the first branch. He is luckily tall enough to manage this but the rocks are tumbling quickly towards us like a deadly river.

"Higher!" I climb too, trying to lead him up on the stronger branches. When I think we are at a safe distance I look back down. The avalanche has almost hit us.

"Hold on to the trunk!" I call.

He obeys, grasping the tree like his life depends on it, which it does.

The force of the avalanche almost throws us both from the tree but we miraculously keep our grip. It's as if a train has driven full force into the base. The huge rocks roll dangerously about the tree, rattling us. Smaller rocks occasionally bounce up close enough to touch us. One cuts me across the ankle but I bite back a cry of pain.

This must be the longest avalanche in existence because the rocks just keep coming until suddenly I hear a crack below us. Skeet's eye meet mine, wide and terrified. "You know avalanches. I know the sound of a tree cracking."

"Shit." I mutter. "_Jump_!"

The tree starts to fall as I scramble along my perch with balance I didn't know I posses and I leaped for the next tree, a much taller, stronger oak. I hit the trunk hard, knocking away my breath but I wrap my arms around it's great trunk as tightly as I can. I ignore the bark cutting painfully into my arms, or the blood that runs from my scrapes. I just hold on.

The tree shudders and I start to lose my grip. It is as a last resort I draw Skeet's sword and plunge it into the tree, stopping my fall with a sharp jerk. I wouldn't be able to hold onto the sword for long but I manage to use the delay to find my footing on a branch.

I am dripping with sweat and blood, and breathing so hard I'm surprised my lungs don't pop right out of my throat. My heart pounds at a painful rate against my chest and I have an uncontrollable urge to scream yet no sound can leave my mouth. I want to cry too with terror but I managed to stem my tears. I cannot let this defeat me. I must continue to appear strong.

I close my eyes tightly as I continue to cling for dear life to the trunk of the tree. After a long time the rumbling thunder of the avalanche fades from my ears and I slowly loosen my grip on the tree drawing in deep gulps of air. Below me is a great pile of huge rocks.

"Hey Skeet, are you alright." I gasp.

It isn't a voice that answers my question. Instead a cannon fires.

Slowly I look down, then to the side, then all around my tree.

Skeet is not there.

The cannon fire is answer enough to where he has gone.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

"I knew it." I whisper. "I knew it as soon as I saw the first avalanche. She knew it too thank god and she tried to help him but…"

"But he was too heavy." Haymitch says. He had arrived in time to see the branch break under Skeet's weight and see him fall to his gruesome death. "Too bad. They were good at working together. Now both of District 11's tributes are gone. Chaff won't be happy."

I rub a hand over my face. "I'm just glad she survived. I thought for sure when the tree fell…"

"So did I." Haymitch admits. "She's strong. The game makers are testing her and she's rising to the challenge. That will be good for her."

I nod. I want to express my sadness at Skeet's death but I know I can't. I'm trying to be more realistic. I know that Skeet had to die if Willow was to get out so I shut up about it.

"You're alright?" Haymitch asks, with concern that surprises me. Maybe he's noticed that each day I get a little too closer to cracking. It's true of course. I'm not even an adult yet and I'm coaching these games. It's almost cruel, but I have no choice. I'm the only female victor after all.

"My, my, my that was terrifying." Effie bursts suddenly into the room. Her appearance shocks me. She has hardly been with us the entire games. Now that district 12 has won she's more well known among escorts. They consider it a victory for her though she didn't do much. "I thought for sure... well, It doesn't matter now, she's alright."

Haymitch casts me a look that says _"I'm going to go drink a gallon of liquor." _And wanders off to find his alcohol. If Effie starts to irritate me too much, I make a note to follow him in that pursuit.

"They are doing very well." Effie says, straightening her green wig. Green seems to be her theme this year, green suit, green hair, green colored eyes. It's a blinding green too, not like that of the forest. It irritates my eyes. "Holly is making friends and Willow just survived that monstrous avalanche."

"Barely." I murmur.

"And I would hardly call what Holly is making friends. They will end up turning on each other eventually." Haymitch says.

"Well it's true but… I think those twins from district 1 are very nice to her. The boy especially, isn't it so peculiar?"

"Peculiar." I repeat. Haymitch and I share another look. I know we both agree with her but we don't want to voice this out loud.

My eyes wander back to the screen. It's now that I see another tribute, the red haired older sister from nine, drawing dangerously close to Willow. She has a knife in her hand which she has been using very efficiently against wild animals. Her brother has just been claimed by the first avalanche and you can tell by the unshed tears in her eyes.

She disguises the sadness with a hard gaze. Willow is headed right toward her, a hand over a particularly bad gash on one arm. She looks numb from the recent loss of her allies, much how I must have looked after Rue's death, and she holds the sword that belonged to Skeet in one hand.

"They're going to run into each other." I say.

Haymitch looks at the screen for a long time, maybe considering how likely Willow is to survive this soon after a near death experience. Then he sighs. "So they are."

* * *

**Willow's POV**

I couldn't protect him. If I had been paying more attention maybe I would have been able to catch him before he fell from the tree. I might have been able to help him. Now it's too late.

His sword hangs almost limp in my hand as I trudge through the trees. Now I'm without food and without a partner but I am not in the mood to hunt.

I keep my eyes to the ground and don't even see the red headed tribute from District 9 until we practically run into each other. Just like that the depressed haze over my mind is gone and I leap back from her, landing in a crouch, the sword held in front of me. She has also distanced herself from me, raising a knife to defend herself.

For a moment we stare at each other blankly, both wondering if we should attack or not. We say nothing. Just stare in silence. Slowly her eyes move over me, observing my wounds. "The Avalanche." She says hoarsely. "You got caught in it too?"

"Yeah." I say after a pause. "The trees saved my life."

"Mine too." The girl says. "But not my brother. Did you hear his cannon fire?"

I nod. I do remember a cannon firing. I'm angry at myself for feeling relieved that the cannon didn't belong to Holly.

"I heard one over this way too. Did you see who died?"

"My ally." I say. It's hard to say it out loud past the lump in my throat. "The District 11 tribute."

"What about your sister?" she asks.

"We've been separated since the blood bath." I say. "I've been looking for her everywhere but I have no idea where she is."

The girl nods and straightens, her hold loosening a bit on her knife. "Look, I don't want to become allies or anything. The only person I trusted in this arena was my brother. But I don't want to kill you either unless it comes down to it. I'll kill if I have to but barbarism isn't exactly my thing. If you do want to fight though, be my guest but I should warn you, I'm fast."

I shake my head. "I've had enough action for today. I'm not going to fight you." I cock my head to the side. "Uh, what's your name?"

"Latasha"

"Oh, I'm Willow." I sigh. "I'm… sorry about your brother."

"So am I." Latasha says grimly. She turns and starts to walk away before she stops and turns back to me. "Hey, about your sister…"

"Yes?" I ask, my voice suddenly a mix of eager and frightened.

"I know where she is." Latasha says. "I saw her right after the blood bath." She shifts uncomfortably. "She's been with the careers ever since the games started."

I stare at her for a long time in shock before she slides her knife back into her belt and turns to leave.

Slowly I lean back against a tree and sink down to the ground, where I allow myself a moment to do nothing but sit in silence, and cry invisible tears.

* * *

_**A/N: **__**So Skeet is dead now. Very sad... I liked Skeet. But now Willow will be doubling back around to go find her sister so they should meet up soon. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review and tell me what you think!**_


	12. Chapter 12: A Narrow Escape

**A/N: I'm back. Holly's POV is back in this chapter, but we also have Willow and some moments of particular badassery. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I always appreciate favorites, alerts and reviews!**

**Chapter 12: Narrow Escape**

The squirrel meat is appreciated. If the Careers were any less hungry they might have turned up their nose to it. I'm sure none of them have ever had to eat squirrel meat. But now they dig in, barely allowing the meat enough time to cook before they shove it in their mouths.

This barbaric eating is no odd scene in the hunger games though usually it isn't the careers engaging in it. They usually have plenty of food from the Cornucopia but this time they are just as hungry as everyone else.

We don't talk much as we eat. I try to clean the squirrels to save as much meat as possible but there really isn't that much on them. We at least have a lot of them though so it's enough to sustain us.

"I heard another cannon." Jade says. "Another kill?"

"Yes." Jasper says. "Another girl got caught in the hell storm of these guys" He holds up a half eaten squirrel by the tail. "She wasn't so lucky. She was already bleeding to death so I killed her."

"So that's just one kill for Jasper so far." Lance says.

Jasper raises an eyebrow. "Are we keeping score?"

"Just for fun." Briannte says. "I have one. Dad has two, Pike has two. You and Jade have one." She casts both me and Azura an unfriendly glance. "They have zero."

I flinch a little, wondering if this kill count will be used to determine who dies first when the Careers are all that is left. Azura kind of leans back into Pike and he puts an arm around her shoulders, casting Briannte a dangerous glare.

"There will be plenty of time to kill other tributes later." Jade rolls her eyes. "I heard two more cannons while we were gone and this loud rumbling. I climbed up to see what it was. It looks like an avalanche from that huge plateau took out two others.

"So that's ten total." Lance says. "Seven more to kill before it's just us left."

His saying this out loud makes me feel a little cold inside, realizing just how close that could be. Plus Willow is one of those seven we have yet to kill.

"We'll go hunting this afternoon, before the sun sets." Jasper says.

"Why not at night?" Lance asks.

"Because I don't want to run into those squirrels tonight when I can't see them." Jasper says. "And I don't think you want to either."

"Besides, late afternoon has good dramatic lighting. It makes for a good show." Jade says, pointing up into the sky as if the game makers are hovering somewhere above us. Hey, maybe they are.

"And if we run into more animals, so be it." Pike says. "These squirrels aren't going to stay in our stomachs for long."

"When does the feast happen?" Azura mutters. "They would put food out for us right?"

"They probably want the field to die down a little more." Briannte says. "Can't you live without a gourmet meal for a second?"

Azura casts her a glare but makes no attempt to challenge Briannte. Despite the girl's size, she is still a contender for these games. I wonder if her father would have any qualms about killing her if it ends up just them in the end.

I wouldn't doubt it since it is Lance.

For a few more hours we sit, waiting for the sun to dip a little lower in the sky. The others pick through weapons, claiming their hunting tools for the night while I try to store the leftover meat. There isn't much of it but every little bit helps.

While I work, Jade ends up sitting next to me, observing me with curious eyes. I'm sure that she has never had to skin or clean an animal herself. She must find it fascinating.

"Did you have to hunt for food a lot in District 12?" she blurts.

I look at her before I smile. "Oh I didn't. It was Willow who did all the hunting."

"But its illegal isn't it?" she asks.

"Sure." I shrug. "But we need to eat. "

"Huh," Jade says. "Do you trust us Holly?"

The question is out of the blue and I stare at her for a moment. "What?"

"Do you trust us?" She repeats. "I'd understand if you didn't but I'm amazed you've stuck with us for this long."

"I trust… some of you." I say slowly. "You and Jasper I trust for now. I don't think you'll stab me when my back is turned if that's what you mean."

Jade grins. "He's right. You are pretty strange."

"Who?" I flush.

"Jasper. He told me 'That girl is different. Never met anyone like her before'" Jade mimics his voice. "And he's right."

The heat rises further to my face and I look back to the squirrels. "Oh."

"It's not a bad thing you know." Jade says. "You know when we were drawn for the games we tried to focus on the good things. Like being able to see people from other districts. No one but the tributes get to do that. Everyone else is separated. I remember telling him 'but it won't make much of a difference because the other career districts are a lot like us. Nothing to look at'. So he told me 'fine, we'll get an ally from another district too if that makes you happy. It can be an educational experience.'"

I look over to where Jasper stands by the cornucopia, shifting a spear from hand to hand. "So that's why. That's why he convinced the others to ally with me."

"Hey don't think it's just that. We're not just studying you." Jade says. "Honestly I think he likes you. After you came out of _nowhere _and challenged him to fight in the training room he would stop laughing and talking about it. 'Did you see that girl? She was crazy trying to fight me. She really is different.'" She laughed. "You didn't disappoint Holly. I've never met someone like you before. Neither has he."

"We grew up differently." I murmur. "I'm not surprised."

"Maybe." Jade says. "I do like you Holly. It's too bad we had to meet here of all places. When the time comes…" She trails off uncomfortably. "Well, I hope that I'm not the one who has to kill you, let's put it that way."

I half smile. "And you won't have to worry about me killing you. If it comes down to the two of us, you're the one who will win."

Jade shrugs. "Hey, don't sell yourself short District 12. It all depends. You're not so bad with a spear."

"We ready to go?" Briannte calls impatiently, tapping her foot. "We want to actually hunt in your so called dramatic lighting you know."

"Yeah, yeah." Jade stands and hefts her spear. "Don't freak out, I'm coming." She looks back at me. "Hey why don't you guard this time since we have to take turns."

I nod gratefully. "Yeah, that's fine." That means I won't have to witness any more possible deaths.

"I'll stay behind too." Azura says. "We want back up."

"Sure, just be careful." Pike sends me a warning glance as if I might try to hurt Azura.

I sigh and sit down. "Go on, don't worry."

"Yeah, she isn't going to attack your girlfriend Pike." Jade rolls her eyes.

It's with these words that the other careers march into the woods.

**Willow's POV**

I've been stalking a deer for at least an hour now, or at least the hoof tracks of a deer. I follow them quickly and quietly, trying to keep on the trail. It takes awhile but when I finally spot the creature grading through the thick underbrush I allow myself a smile and I climb up into the best tree I can fine. Once or twice the deer stops grazing and looks around like it knows it's being watched. I'm afraid it might bolt but after a moment it just bends down and grazes again.

I move quietly and agilely over the tree branches, trying to make no more sound then the wind as it rustles through the leaves. One of the thicker branches hangs right over my target giving me a perfect angle. It's a little high up but it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I've made high jumps before and I'm good at landing them.

But the deer pauses and looks up again. It hears something that I hear too. Something like a growling noise. I pause and freeze looking around for some other wild animal to burst from the trees. My eyes fall on a large dark cave and I hear the noise again. I know immediately that it can't belong to anything friendly and I back up a little into the trees.

It is then that I hear voices rising over the growling. Voices growing louder and nearing me. The deer still surprisingly doesn't move.

"It seems like no one has stuck around here." A voice says. A recognize it from one of the interviews. It belongs to the father from two.

"They probably headed to that plateau." Another familiar voice says. This one I can place a name to. It belongs to Jade, one of the twins from District 1. The career pack is drawing closer to me.

"So what? Do we wait for the feast to kill someone?" a younger girl's voice says.

"Who knows?" I see the first figure through my hiding place. In the dimming light I can barely make it out but I can see that it is Jasper after a moment. Only now does the deer dart away and I hear another voice groan. This belongs to the boy from District 4.

"Great, we scared away more food."

Jasper shrugged. "We're still fine. Don't worry about it." The growl comes from the cave again and Jasper stops. "Do you… hear something?"

"Yes." His sister steps up beside him now but they are the only ones I can see clearly. "That doesn't sound good." Her eyes go to the cave, so do mine.

Then all hell breaks loose.

A huge black creature explodes from the cave, teeth barred in a vicious snarl. Upon closer inspection I see it is a bear. A huge bear. I've never seen a bear so big before in my life. In fact I had only seen two bears while I was hunting, one of whom was dead and being eaten by a pack of wild dogs. Another was a lone mother bear with brown fur. She had been big but she paled in comparison to this creature. This bear could easily snap her neck between his jaws with barely an effort at all. Its red eyes gleamed so cruelly that I felt afraid just looking at him. It has to be a mutt. There was no other way it could be so monstrous.

My only solace was that its attention was not on me. It was on the careers.

For a moment I ponder leaving them and seeing how many cannons go off but at that moment I hear a scream from one of the girl's I can't see. A thing about screams, they're harder to tell apart especially from girls. The cry could have easily been from anyone.

Latasha's words come back to me. _"I saw your sister with the careers after the blood bath."_

Is Holly with them and I just can't see her. Or maybe they know where she is. Whatever the case I suddenly can't bring myself to run. I know that the bear will decimate them. They have the low ground, the disadvantage. I am the only one who can find a clear shot to kill.

"_Just leave them. Your sister probably isn't with them." _A voice in my head says. _"Let them die. Then you're closer to winning."_

But I can't. For a moment I sit trembling on my branch, watching as the bear roars and rears up, almost brushing the branches just below me. It does not see me yet I am afraid that it might skewer me with it's claws. Then it falls back on all fours and chases the careers who have started to run for it. I finally make up my mind and I chase after them, swinging through the trees as quickly as I possibly can. My hands and arms still ache from my avalanche encounter but in my adrenalin rush I'm having a hard time paying attention to it.

Soon the chase comes to a stop as the careers have wedged themselves into a corner and the bear has them trapped. It roars and bears it's fangs for all to see. They seem unnaturally sharp, to big even to fit into his huge mouth.

I can see Jasper through the trees. He clutches his spear and begins to raise it.

"_Yes, throw it." _I think. _"Give me a good shot."_

There's another pause and Jasper hurls the spear with surprising strength. It doesn't hit the bear in the throat but it does burry itself deep in his shoulder. The bear gives an ear shattering roar and rears again, clawing at the air. Once again it's head is upturned and very close to me and this time I cannot wait. This is my best shot.

I turn Skeet's sword so that it points downward, aiming towards one glowing red eye. Then I drop.

My aim is so luckily perfect and I land right on the bears neck, grasping on with my knees as I drive the sword to the hilt in the eye. Blood spurts and the bear starts to stagger. It does not roar now. I know my blade has sunk through his eye and into his brain. Then he falls.

I manage to leap off before I am crushed under the bear and land hard on one side, rolling a few feet before I come to a stop gasping for air. My body aches though nothing feels broken and I am winded by the previous exertion and the force at which my adrenalin pumped through my body.

I tried to raise myself as I heard footsteps but as soon as I managed to push myself to a kneeling position a strong arm was around my neck, pulling me back against a muscled torso. "Don't move little one."

My eyes widen as I realize that the father from District 2 has hold of me and is probably very intent on snapping my neck. I struggle but he easily holds me still.

"Hang on Lance." Jasper says hurrying over. He kneels down in front of me and observes my face before he nods. "Yeah thought it was you ice queen." He glances over his shoulder. "Hey Jade! Is it dead?"

"Yeah." Jade kicks the bears head. "Dead as a doornail."

"Pretty good shot ice queen." Jasper looks back to me. "That what you did in your private session?"

"What's it to you?" I snapped.

"If I were you, little one, I wouldn't have such an attitude in your position." Lance says. The arm tightened on my neck and I choked for breath.

"Lance stop." Jasper's eyes narrow and the grip loosens a bit on my throat. Jasper's eyes go to me again. "Just curiosity. I'm pretty sure I know that answer anyway."

"Where's Holly?" I ask, afraid for a moment that they have already killed her.

"She's guarding back at the cornucopia." Jasper says. "Don't worry she's fine."

"Yeah she's fine but what about her?" the girl from district 1 says. "What do we do with her?"

"We could always say the bear got her." The boy from four says.

"It's possible" Lance says, seeming very keen on this idea. I feel his hand rest lightly on my head as if he is preparing to twist it to the side and end my life. I try to jerk my head away but he knots his fingers in my hair and holds me still.

"Yeah but it would be a horrible way to repay her for saving our necks. Let's bring her back." Jasper stands. "And you can let go of her neck. She's not going to run; she wants to see her sister."

That much is true. I do want to see Holly. I never want to let her leave my sight again as long as she's with these careers.

Lance releases me and I rise, backing quickly away from him. It is then with great trepidation that I follow them back through the woods, a mixture of fear and joy filling me. Joy at the thought of seeing Holly. Fear at the company I am now keeping.

_**A/N: So, Willow and Holly are soon to be reunited but for how long? Review to find out ;)**_

_**In the mean time, feel free to follow me on Twitter ( AimeeHyndman) or subscribe on Youtube (Kallypso8) where I've begun to put out reviews of book to movie adaptations. My first was of the Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters movie and the City of Bones movie review is forth coming. When Catching Fire comes out, you can expect a review of that.**_

_**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**_


	13. Chapter 13: Sleepless Suspicion

**_A/N: I know its been awhile but in celebration of Hunger Games: Catching Fire coming out on DVD today, here's the next chapter! More of Holly's POV and some intense stuff with Katniss and Haymitch on the other side of the games. Hope you enjoy!_  
**

**Chapter 13: Sleepless suspicions**

**Holly's POV**

I am getting worried by the time it hit dark and they are not back. So is Azura. She keeps on casting me suspicious glances, afraid that I might decide to jump her while the others were gone. I just sigh and kick my spear away from me.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm not going to kill you." I mutter.

Azura seems doubtful. "We all have to kill at some point. And you-"

"Would be dead if I tried to kill you now." I say. "What would I say when the others come back. I'm not into killing people anyway."

"Yeah?" Azura wraps her arms around her legs. "Neither am I." She wrings her fingers together, nervously. "I… I used to be a vegetarian. Until I ate those squirrels."

"_Ah, that explains the revulsion to killing animals." _I think. "But you live in District 4. You fish."

"Yeah, fish don't count." Azura says. "Just other meats. I like animals and I never wanted to eat them. I didn't want to think about them being killed. It's the same in here. I don't want to kill."

I nod. Perhaps I have underestimated Azura. I thought her as shallow and cruel as Pike but she wasn't.

"Pike doesn't seem to mind." I comment lightly.

"His father is a victor." Azura says. "And his uncle. He's living up to what they accomplished. He's always trained for this. He planned to volunteer this year but no volunteers were accepted. Instead my name was drawn." She hugs her arms tighter around her knees. "He was the one I cared most about so he got put in with me. At least he's getting his chance."

I have to admit, I do feel sorry for her. "So… what happens if it comes down to the two of you?"

"…I don't know." Azura's voice is hoarse and soft. I am worried that she might start crying.

"Hey, don't worry." I say, hurrying over and sitting down beside her. "Don't cry. It'll be fine. I'm sorry I got you on the topic."

Azura nods and dries her eyes. "Sorry. I really shouldn't be here at all. This isn't a place for me."

"Me neither." I say.

"Yeah, right." Azura says. "You at least no how to handle a spear."

"Just because I can handle it doesn't mean I can kill with it, Azura." I say. "And in the end, that's all that matters."

"Guess so." Azura says. "But your sister is tough?"

"Yeah, and she'll kill if she has to. I'd like to think she has a chance."

Azura nodded and looked around. "Where are the others?"

"I don't know." I stand and take a few steps towards the trees "I've been wondering that for a little while. Where-"

Suddenly Azura screams. I whirl around to see an undersized girl tribute leaping out from behind the cornucopia brandishing a knife. The girl leaps at Azura and tackles her to the ground. Azura manages to grab the girl's wrist and keep the knife off of her.

"Stinking careers killed my dad." The girl snarls. "I'll kill you for him. I'm going to be the one to win."

"Holly! Help!" Azura calls.

I run towards the battling girls, scooping up my spear on the way. Instead of stabbing out with my spear I smack the girl in the side with the shaft and send her tumbling off. Azura gasps for air and scrambles to her feet.

The girl rights herself and turns, flipping her knife in her hand. "You were the twelve tribute." She fixes her eyes on me. "But you betray us. You've joined the careers. Did you kill my dad?"

"No." I say, shifting my spear in my hands. "I don't want to kill you."

"Yeah right." The girl lunges at me and I dodge and bring the shaft of my staff across the girl's back. But she doesn't give up so easily. The girl rights herself and lunges again. This time she slices my hand and I drop my spear in surprise and stumble back. My foot catches on the edge of the cornucopia and I trip over it and fall on my back.

With a wild cry the girl rushes at me. I bring up my legs and kick forward hard. I catch the girl in the stomach and sent her stumbling back, gasping. But the girl is quick to recover. She struggles to her feet and starts to lunge again.

Then with a yell, Azura leaps at her from the side and tackles her to the ground.

"Get off of me!" The girl snaps, bringing her knife across Azura's cheek. Azura yelps in pain and lets go. I smack the girl away from Azura before she can go for the kill again.

"Damn you." The girl growls. "Both of you. I'll slit your throat." She lunges at me.

Then she drops like a stone, her face frozen. My eyes widen when I see the knife sticking out of the back of the girl's skull.

"Nice shot." I hear Jade whistle.

"Lucky shot." A familiar voice corrects. My heart rises. "Throwing isn't my specialty."

I look up to see the rest of the career pack returning. And with them…

"Willow!" I exclaim.

A rare huge grin spreads over Willow's face as I run towards her and throw my arms around her in a tight hug. "I was worried you might already be dead."

"Are you joking? I promised I was going to try, right?" She pulls back from me. "I'm just glad you're alright. I heard you were with the careers and I thought that-"

"They haven't touched me." I say, then I lower my voice. "But I think that's because of Jasper and Jade. The others don't like me so much."

"Then I'll keep an eye on them." She promises, a deadly note in her voice. Unconsciously I look towards the girl she has just killed.

"So… how many have you killed?"

"Just two." Willow says. "And a bear. Both of my old allies are dead. Sky got killed in the blood bath and Skeet was taken by the avalanche. I barely made it out."

"So the ice queen braved an avalanche huh?" Jasper asks coming up behind us.

"Yeah. I brave avalanches and giant bears. What have you done?" Willow says snidely.

Pike makes a growling noise in his throat and Lance gets that familiar dark look in his eyes. Jasper takes the comment in good humor.

"Man eating squirrels" He says. "A whole hoard. They attacked yours sister and I when we were hunting."

Willow looks to me automatically but Jasper laughs.

"Oh, she's fine Ice queen. Your sister can handle herself pretty well you know."

"I know that." Willow says and I can't help but smile.

"So what's the verdict on the little one." Lance asked. "Do we keep her alive?"

"She can help hunt for now." Jasper says. "We'll have time to turn on each other later. No one touches her. Got that?"

"Whatever." Lance scoffs and I worry that he and his daughter are thinking about defecting sooner rather than later.

"It's late." Jade says. "We should sleep. It's been a long day. We'll hunt tomorrow."

"Sure, I'll take first watch." Jasper says.

"No, I will." Willow says.

Jasper grins. "I'm not going to kill your sister ice queen. You can trust me on that."

Willow looks at him evenly. "Sorry, district one. But I don't."

"She's not as sunny as you." Jade whispers as she passes me.

"She's just protective." I murmur, and though I'm glad for this I hope Willow's biting tone won't get her killed.

* * *

_**Katniss' POV**_

This is without a doubt the strangest games ever. Alliances between careers and outlying district tributes are rare. Both of the tributes from district 12 getting in with the careers is unheard of. If they happen, they don't last long. Yet Jasper seems intent on keeping Holly and Willow out of the crossfire… for now.

I still don't know what to make of him or his sister. Honestly I kind of like him. He's a nice boy even if he is a career tribute. But he's hard to read. I don't blame Willow for not trusting him. His sister seems more dangerous and easier to read, but still friendly with my tributes for now.

Its always 'for now' in the games.

Haymitch warns me to be careful when I leave the safety of our room. He says that some of the career mentors are angry at us because our tributes are allies. Because of his warning I keep a steak knife hidden in my jacket, just in case.

Mentors aren't supposed to fight mentors but you never know.

I'm walking back from dinner when Haymitch's warning becomes a reality. Haymitch is in the room taking a shift for me so that I can eat. As I walk down the hall I hear footsteps behind me. I stop and the footsteps stop. I start walking again. There is no mistaking that they are there. They are much heavier than mine.

I whirl around and put a hand in my jacket, feeling the hilt of my knife. There stands Granite, the hulking district one mentor. There's a dangerous sneer on his face.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

"You're the other district 12 mentor, right darling?"

"Yeah." I say.

"Good, then you can help me." Granite smirks.

I am so concentrated on him that I don't hear the second person sneak up behind me. I don't even realize someone else is there until I feel the tremendous blow to my head.

My vision blurs and I stagger under the blow. Still I try to go for my knife. As soon as I pull it from my jacket someone catches my wrist and squeezes so hard that I drop the blade. The person behind me seizes me around the waist and drags me kicking and struggling into an empty, dark room. Granite follows, scooping up my knife in the process.

I am struggling with all my might but my head is fuzzy from the previous blow and the man holding me is much bigger than I am. He holds onto me with not much effort though I am positive I manage to score a few good kicks on him.

When the door to the room closes my captor hurls me into the wall. The second blow to my head does not help my concentration and I briefly see stars. I slide to the ground, trying desperately to stay awake.

Before I can get up again, Granite is straddling me, pinning me under him and the second man, who I recognize as the mentor from district 2, pins my arms above my head so that I can't punch Granite off of me. I freeze when Granite holds the knife close to my face.

"Settle down darling." He hisses. "That's right. You stay nice and still." He traces the point of the blade over my cheek. "You were going to attack me with this, huh? District 12 winners really are savages. You carry a knife around and your friend is a useless drunk."

"We're not the savages you son of a bitch!" I snarl.

Granite smacks me hard across the face and for the third time in the last few minutes, I see stars. Before I can clear my vision, Granite grabs my chin and turns my face abruptly back towards his. He presses the point of the blade into my cheek again and leans very close. "Now, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do darling. I'm going to rearrange your pretty face. And you're going to scream for me. This is payment for what your tributes have done to screw up mine. I can't get to them. But I can do plenty to you."

"You're not going to get away with this." I spit at him, trying to jerk my arms away from the district 2 mentor. His grip holds firm.

Granite gives a sick smile and this time traces his fingers down my face. Almost gently. I shiver under his cold touch. "Watch me, darling." He leans down right next to my ear. "Now, you hold still."

Then he claps a hand over my mouth and digs the tip of the knife into my cheek. I scream from behind his hand as he drags the knife down my cheek, cutting deep into the flesh of my face. He drags it out, moving the knife as slowly as possible. And though I thrash and scream he doesn't let up. In desperation I sink my teeth into his hand, biting so hard that I taste blood.

Granite gives a cry of pain and punches me again. I taste my own blood in my mouth this time.

"She's feisty." The district 2 mentor laughs.

"Yeah." Granite gets that sick smile again. "There's only so much you can struggle without your hands, darling. You can't stop me from doing something like this." His hands journey down my body, to where I _really _don't want them to go. I jerk and stare up at him with wide eyes.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh I think I would." Granite whispers. Then he reaches for his belt buckle.

"No!" I scream and thrash. "Get the hell off me you bastard! GET OFF!"

The door bursts open and suddenly I get my wish. Someone seizes Granite and throws him off me. District 2 immediately lets go of my arms and stands but he is met with a punch to the face. I look up to see Haymitch standing over me. I've never seen him looked so angry in my entire life. District 2 tries to get a shot at him but Haymitch punches him twice more and, surprisingly, the man goes down, unconscious.

"You." Granite hisses.

"Yeah, it's me. What did you expect?" Haymitch asks. "You attack a seventeen year old girl, my fellow mentor and you actually think I was going to let you get away with that?"

Granite snarls and lunges at Haymitch. Haymitch manages to dodge the first punch and with a swift blow to Granite's arm he knocks the knife from his hand and sends it spinning across the floor, towards me. But Granite's second blow manages to catch Haymitch in the stomach. My old mentor is by no means as athletic as Granite. Years of drinking have taken their toll and he staggers under the blow. A second punch sends him to the ground.

But Granite never gets a third punch. Because at that moment I lunge and run into him with all of my might. I knock him to the ground and a moment later _I _am the one on top of _him_. I am the one who drives my fists into his face, over and over again, bloodying his nose and making him cry out in pain. And then, _I _am the one holding the knife to his throat.

"You think you can try something like that with me and not pay?" I snarl. "I will kill you, you son of a bitch!" I raise the knife, intent on thrusting the blade into his throat.

A hand catches mine and brings the knife to a stop inches from Granite's throat. I struggle to bring the blade all the way down, to it's target but the grip holds firm.

"No, sweetheart." Haymitch says. "Don't. If you kill him then you'll be the guilty party."

"Let go of me, Haymitch!" I snapped.

"Sweetheart." Haymitch says. His voice is soft this time. "Come on. Get off of him. You're better than him." I don't move for a long moment and he tries again. "Please, Katniss."

Finally my grip relaxes on the knife and Haymitch pulls it from my grasp. Then I rise from Granite and take a few steps away. "I… he was going to…"

"I know." Haymitch says. He takes a cautious step toward me. For a moment I just stare at him. Then my legs give. He catches me before I hit the ground and eases me down the rest of the way.

"Easy sweetheart. You're alright now. You're fine."

My head falls against his shoulder and I let him wrap his arms around me. He is surprisingly gentle as he rubs my back with one hand. "Calm down sweetheart. Deep breaths. That's it. You're going to be alright."

I hear more footsteps and I look up to see Finnick standing in the doorway.

"Is she alright?" He pants.

"She'll be fine." Haymitch says. "Get that bastard up, will you?"

Finnick nods and pulls the dazed Granite up from the floor. Haymitch lets me go and stands to look at him. He points the knife right at his face.

"You touch her again, you son of a bitch and next time I won't stop her from plunging this knife right into your throat. You got that, _Granite_?"

Granite didn't respond. He just glared. So Haymitch cast a glance at Finnick. "Take him to the officials and report this will you? I'll take care of her."

"No problem." Finnick drags Granite from the room. The district 1 mentor is glaring at me as he disappears.

Haymitch turns back to look at me and his face softens. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"I fine." I murmur, though he probably knows I'm lying. "How did you know?"

Finnick said he heard the other district one mentor talking about it. He came to warn you immediately but saw you weren't there. We went looking for you immediately. I found you first." He knelt down in front of me. "That doesn't look good."

"What?" I ask.

"Your cheek. The cut." Haymitch says. "It's deep."

"Oh, yeah." I murmur.

Haymitch sighs and rests a hand on my shoulder. "It's ok, sweetheart."

"I know." I whisper. "Thank you."

Haymitch sort of smiles. "Come on." He pulls me to my feet. "You need rest."

I nod and let him lead me from the room.

I guess I never imagined that the other side of the games could be just as brutal as when I was in the arena.

_**A/N: So is Holly or Willow right? Is Jasper trustworthy? Or do they have to worry about the other careers? All these questions and more in the next chapter! Reviews make me update faster and I always appreciate feedback. *two finger salute* May the odds be ever in your favor. Enjoy Catching Fire on DVD! **_


	14. Chapter 14: Built for Survival

**_A/N: Happy Friday everyone! Here's the weekly installment of Hidden Bitter Darkness! If I continue to regularly update, this fic should continue for about 10 to 12 more weeks before reaching its conclusion. Longer than I thought actually, but I don't want to rush anything._**

**_This features POV from Willow, Holly and Haymitch. its more of a discussion and transition chapter than heavy on the action but after all the action in the last chapter, I figure this is acceptable. There will be plenty of action next chapter!_**

**_Without further ado, enjoy!_**

**Chapter 14: Built for Survival**

_**Willow's POV**_

For the first hour on watch, I make an effort to ignore Jasper completely. I stare straight ahead at the forest, searching meticulously for any sign of a threat. Then, every once and awhile, I scan the sleeping tributes just to make sure none of them have a weapon in their hand, planning for a surprise attack.

The second hour, I become more and more aware of Jasper watching me instead of the forest. I try not to let it bother me but his gaze pricks at the back of my neck, uncomfortably so. I shift and tried to concentrate but I liken his gaze to the stare of a predator. Impossible for a prey animal to ignore.

Impossible for a _smart _prey animal to ignore, at least.

The third hour, Jasper breaks the silence.

"You're persistent, ice queen, I'll give that. I haven't seen your eyelids droop once." Jasper says.

"Shouldn't you be watching the forest, District 1?"

"I feel plenty safe with you doing that for me. You're so focused, you wouldn't miss a thing." He says.

I look at him for the first time in a while. He is lounging against a backpack of supplies, hands behind his head, looking completely at ease. As if this is some sort of picnic and he is just enjoying the stars. I meanwhile sit rigid. Like a competitor in the hunger games _should _be.

"You shouldn't trust me." I say at last.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm your competition and I might be the one to kill you." I say flatly.

"You're not going to kill me tonight, ice queen."

"I could."

"But I don't think you will."

My eyes narrow. "What do you know?"

"I know that you're smart. And killing me here is a bad idea because I would up enough of a struggle to wake the others and then you would be dead." Jasper says. "You also know that your sister would be upset with you if you killed me."

"Why would Holly be upset?" I mutter.

"Because she's my ally. And we're friends." Jasper says.

I scoff. "You're not friends." How can he even suggest that? No one is really friends in the Hunger Games. They're all trying to fight to be the last one standing. They're all praying for the deaths of the other competitors.

"I like her pretty well, and she seems to like me as well. I call those friends."

"You're in the _Hunger Games_." I say. "And maybe Holly doesn't like you as much as you think she does."

"Doubt it." Jasper says. "Your sister seems like the open-book type of girl. Has she ever been a good liar?"

I don't say anything. I don't want to acknowledge that Jasper has a point. I just look back out at the forest.

"And besides," Jasper says. "You may put off an ice queen attitude but I don't think you'd kill anyone unless you had to."

I glare at him. "I'm a hunter, Jasper. Hunting people isn't that much different than hunting animals."

"You're lying." Jasper says. "I'm not saying you wouldn't kill. You'd kill in a heartbeat if Holly was in danger or if someone else you liked was in danger. But you don't kill to kill. Not like some of my other allies." He nods at them.

"Or like you," I mutter.

Jasper is silent for a long time and I feel a sense of victory settle over me. But the triumph doesn't last long before he chooses to speak again.

"I don't kill unless I need to."

"Right." I roll my eyes.

"Oh yes, I know my being a career must make me a psychopath, but believe it or not, I've only killed one person so far, and she was already dying." Jasper says. "Did you even watch the reaping?"

I stare at my knees. "Yes."

"And, remind me, did I volunteer for this position?"

"No…" I say. Volunteers weren't allowed this year. But regardless, the first, second and fourth district are known for churning out fierce competitors. And Jasper clearly knows how to handle himself in a fight. He could have been a volunteer any other year.

"My name got picked and my sister got stuck in with me. I never would have wanted that for myself or for her." Jasper says. I shift uncomfortably because he seems to be parroting some of my exact thoughts. "Jade and I know how to handle ourselves in a fight because our grandfather was a victor. Our uncle died in the hunger game. We were expected to volunteer but neither of us planned on it. But we're here anyway. You can be as cold and angry as you want, ice queen, but don't tell me what I am."

I look back at him, feeling a twinge of guilt, but shooing it away. I shouldn't feel guilt. Who cares if I hurt the rich boy's feelings? "You careers always judge us for our district."

"If I judged your sister for her district she would be dead." Jasper said flatly, looking me dead in the eye. And I know he's right.

"Why is my sister alive? Why do you seem to like her?" I ask, changing the subject. He's backed me into a corner of my own prejudices when I thought I was the one in the right. But I can't bring myself to admit that.

"Why wouldn't I?" Jasper says. "She's smart, she knows how to handle herself in a fight, and she has guts. She has a pleasant disposition, unlike you." He glanced at me. I make no attempt to debate this fact. "Really you're both pretty similar. She's just nicer."

"She's more naïve." I counter. "Too trusting." I wrap my arms around my legs, pulling them up to my chest. "She's always been the glass-half-full kind of girl. I'm the glass-half-empty. The realistic one. But I survive. She doesn't have the same instincts."

"She sees the best in people." Jasper says.

"In a world that doesn't reward that quality." I retort. "She'd be great in a world without these games. She's the one people like. The one everyone is drawn to. I'm the one who survives. I might not be the friendliest but I'm still alive."

"She's still alive too, ice queen." Jasper points out. "Your sister is alive even though she doesn't have your 'supposed survival instincts'."

"I know." I murmur. "And if I have my way, she'll stay alive. She'll be the one to make it out of here."

"Does she know about that plan?" Jasper asked mildly.

"Of course not." I say. "But I have to get her out. Its because of me she's in these damn games. She needs to survive." I stare out into the darkness. "After all, she's the one with the sunny personality the Capitol can love."

"So if it comes down to the two of you?" Jasper asks.

"I'll kill myself." I say. "I'll kill myself before I kill her." I sigh. "And you? What if it comes down to you and your sister? Hypothetically of course, since I don't plan to let that happen."

Jasper grin. "You're a little scary, ice queen, you know that?" He looks up at the sky. "Jade and I agreed to a fair fight if it was just us. Spear on spear. Whoever wins, wins. But… I'd be lying if I said I'd rather kill her than have her kill me." He shrugs. "But I'll let the chips fall where they may. Either way, no one wins. Either way, everyone loses something. If you killed yourself, I imagine Holly might lose some of that sunny personality everyone loves so much."

"While if she dies I'll just become gloomier?" I raise an eyebrow, my mouth quirking. I am losing some of her hard edge, talking to him. Because he sounds like any other kid in this moment, talking of the eternal losing game of the Hunger Games. He sounds like me. Even though he's a career.

"Yeah. Gloomier and more icy. Not too much of a change." Jasper smirked.

"Yeah." I yawn.

"Wow, the ice queen yawned. She might not be perfect after all." Jasper notes.

"I'm starting to tolerate you, Jasper. Don't push it." I cast him a glare.

"Fine, fine." He holds up his hands in defense. "You can sleep if you want you know."

"I don't trust you _that _much." I say.

"Fine, then I'll sleep." He says, lying down near Jade, cradling his spear under his arm. Dangerous weapons: The teddy bears of the Hunger Games. "Don't stay up all night though. You'll need your strength."

"Don't worry about my strength. Worry about yours." I reply.

"Like I said. You're scary." Jasper says. And yet in spite of this fact, he closes his eyes and quickly drifts asleep.

It occurs to me now, how easily I could kill them all right now. They'd never know what hit them. Holly and I would only have a few people left then.

But Jasper is right. I'm no monster. And I don't want the games to turn me into one.

I do not sleep. I do not need sleep. I can be strong enough for a few more days. Strong enough to keep Holly alive until she no longer needs me to do so.

* * *

_**Holly's POV**_

I wake as the sun is rising the next morning to find Willow still awake, staring into the distance, her eyes glazed but open. Has she stayed up all night? That's not healthy for her. She'll need her strength in these games.

I crawl over to her side and sit down next to her. "You've been awake all of this time?"

"Yes," she replies simply. "Don't worry. I'm fine."

"I don't believe you." I retort.

Her mouth twitches but she says nothing.

"You have to let me take the watch tonight." I say. "Promise. I can handle myself. And I want you to keep up your strength."

"I told you, I'm fine."

"I don't care what you're telling me. You're sleeping tonight. You got that?" I say. "You promised me you were going to try to stay alive, right? And not sleeping doesn't help with that."

Willow sighs, looking down at her hands, like she always does when she feels guilty. "I did promise." She looks at me. "Fine. I'll let you take the watch tonight."

"Thank you." I smile.

"You have one persistent sister." Jasper says from a few yards away. He's just getting up, and checking through his supplies. "Refused to sleep on the off chance that I might kill her."

I roll my eyes. "He wouldn't kill you Willow."

"We're in the Hunger Games, Holly."

"Alright _yet_. He wouldn't kill you _yet_."

"Such a cheery disposition your sister has." Jade said, cleaning her spear. "I'll bet she's the rage at all the parties."

"We don't have much time for parties in district 12," Willow retorts.

Jade shrugs, brushing off Willow's tone. Neither Jade nor Jasper take much offense to anything, which is very lucky for my sister.

As the others wake, we cook the remainder of the squirrels, finishing the loot off. Everyone gets a small breakfast but we need more food soon. We need to hunt.

"We'll hunt for food and tributes." Lance says, standing. "We can multi task."

"You scare away all the food." Willow says. "None of you know how to hunt."

"Its no different from hunting tributes." Pike sneered.

"Yes it is." Willow says, facing them, her chin high. I take a moment to appreciate the bravery my sister shows in the face of much larger, scarier men like Pike and Lance. "Its entirely different. Humans don't have perfect survival instincts. They're more likely to make mistakes. So they're easier to track. A person panics and it becomes their downfall. An animal panics and becomes their strength."

"That doesn't make any sense." Pike mutters.

"It's the difference between a wounded animal and a wounded person." I explain. "A wounded human is more likely to give up. A wounded animal becomes far more dangerous than a healthy one. They'll do anything to survive."

"Right." Willow says. "Humans don't have that same instinct. If we hunt for food, you'll have to be quiet and let me take the lead."

"Why you?" Lance sneers.

"You've never had to work for food. I have." Willow stares him down. "This is my domain. It's my specialty. I know what I'm doing."

"Well, since it's the district 12 domain," Jasper says. "We should split up. Willow can go with one part and Holly with the other."

"Holly and I aren't splitting up." Willow says. "We—"

"Its fine, Willow." I look at her pointedly, though I'm no expert on hunting. "We can split up for a bit. I'll be fine. I was doing fine before you found me."

Willow falls silent.

"I'll go with Willow's crew." Jade says. "Jasper, you go with Holly's. What about the rest of you?"

"We'll still behind to guard the cornucopia." Pike says, gesturing to himself and Azura.

"Alright. Then Briantte, you go with them." Lance nods at Holly and Jasper. "I'll go with these two."

Willow watches Lance warily but says nothing to protest. Her survival instincts are good enough to know that Lance is probably the most dangerous customer on our hands.

"Meet back here before the sun sets." Jasper says. "Find whatever you can. Food or tributes."

Everyone nods and we set off into the forest in opposite directions.

Willow catches my eyes before she disappears from sight and I give her a smile and a nod.

I want her to trust me to take care of myself. I don't want her to worry about me. She needs to worry about herself and surviving and I feel like my presence in this arena hampers her from doing so.

But as much as I can will her to stop worrying, I know she won't.

* * *

_**Haymitch's POV**_

"How's Katniss?" Finnick asks later as we sit in the lounge early in the morning. He's drinking water while I have ordered my traditional breakfast cocktail. I try to avoid sobriety as much as possible during the games.

After what happened to Katniss, drunkenness sounds more and more inviting.

"She's alright." I say at last. "She's young but she's tough. She's no worse than she already was at least."

"The first games is rough." Finnick nods. "I remember mine. I hated every second of it. I still do. I'm not quite the jaded veteran you are." His mouth quirks.

"That's me. The resident, jaded veteran." I take a swig of his drink. "I remember my first games though. Back before I really took up drinking. I was so painfully aware of every second of it." I sigh. "And hopeful. That was the worse. I was hopeful that my tributes would win. Finally learned to stop being hopeful."

"Hey, you've had one success." Finnick says.

"Yeah. She's one hell of a success." I say. And I mean it. I knew she had the guts to survive when she first stabbed a knife into the table. I knew she had something. She's a good success to have and yet its terrible to see her breaking under the pressure like this.

I can't even imagine Peeta in the same circumstances. He could never handle it. Katniss is harder but she's still soft in her heart.

I wonder how long it will take the games to beat that out of her.

"Granite won't go after her again." Finnick says. "The game makers won't allow for it. She's safe."

"Safe from other mentors, maybe." I stare down at my drink. "But she's not safe from the games we're watching."

Finnick's mouth quirks in a bitter smile. "Are any of us?"

I give a short laugh and take a swig of my drink. "Not at all." I raise my glass. "Cheers to that."

Our glasses clink, echoing through the nearly silent lounge room, filled only by the faint sound of the games playing in the background.

* * *

_**Hope you enjoyed! Please review and tell me what you think! Any predictions on where this is going to go? Who do you think is going to win the games? Willow, Holly or neither? Let me know in your comments!**_

_**Have a happy weekend!**_


	15. Chapter 15: Split Up

_**A/N: Alright next chapter. Tensions are growing in the group and the field is winding down. The question is, when will the tension snap and the career group turn on each other. And who will be the casualties of the event?**_

_**Hope you enjoy!**_

**Chapter 15: Split up**

**_Willow_**

I am most worried about Lance. He seems to be the one who hates me more than the others. It doesn't take a perceptive eye to see that. He periodically glances toward me, eyes burning, as if trying to catch me off my guard. I disappointed him every time, always meeting his gaze when I felt it on the back of my neck, dark eyes gleaming in a solemn promise that I would not be an easy target.

Jade on the other sand seems wholly uninterested in me. She picks along the path, whacking branches out of her way with her spear. Her casual air seems to say 'Don't mind me. Just stepped out for a walk. But mess with me and I will murder you'.

I wonder if she is actually so carefree or if it's all an elaborate act to garner support from sponsors.

"Something came through here." I said. "Animal or not." I study the ground. "It seems like something larger."

"Could be a deer." Jade said.

"Or a tribute." Lance said, his eyes gleaming with malice.

"Or a tribute," I repeat. "But we need food first. We can't eat a tribute." I kneel down and inspect the tracks. They're not wide enough to come from human shoes. "I think it's a deer. Not far. It could be the one your group scared off yesterday." I straighten. "I'll go in front a little ways. If I give a signal to you, stop immediately and don't make a sound. It means I've found something and I need quiet to catch it."

Lance looks like he wants to protest but Jade cuts him off. "Will do. You're the hunting expert, ice queen."

"Thank you." I say grudgingly. At least they are allowing me to do what I know best without their pride protesting.

We pick our way along the path, me several yards in front of my companions, just to give distance between me and their noise. We move as quietly as possible to avoid scaring off food. I keep an eye on the tracks. They seem to be getting fresher.

It takes us over an hour before I reach a clearing and catch site of a flash of brown fur. I hold up my hand and Lance and Jade stop immediately. Peering through the branches, I can see the deer, grazing calmly, not yet suspicious of my presence. Quiet as I can, I find a low hanging branch on a nearby tree and start to climb.

Its slow going when I know I can't make any noise. A few times the tree creaks and the deer looks up. I freeze and even stop breathing, praying the deer will merely go back to eating. I claim to be the expert at hunting but if I can't prove it, they might decide to do away with me sooner rather than later.

At last I reach a high enough branch and clamber carefully along its length until I am smoothly positioned over the grazing animal. A swift drop and the right aim and it will be dead. I take a deep breath and draw my knife, adjusting it in my hand for the best angle. Then I let gravity take over and I drop.

The deer lifts its head just before I hit and my angle is a bit off. I hit its neck instead of its eye, causing a spurt of blood, but also a flailing of limbs. I narrowly duck to avoid a hoof as the animal squeals in pain, bucking from where it has toppled over on the ground. In effort to avoid being kicked to death, I jump away from the deer, dragging my knife harshly across its throat as I do, hoping to injure it enough to bleed out.

The deer's eyes are wild as it seems to look at me. Asking 'why'? Why does it have to die? I have seen this wild look in the eyes of many animals. It goes beyond simple fear but also a refusal to die. A refusal to give up until their hearts stop beating. Its an animalistic instincts that so many humans have lost.

At last the flailing limbs quell and the beast goes limp. Even in death, the eyes seem to retain some level of that desperate survival instinct.

I open up my mouth to call the others over to tell them it's finished but the sound stops dead in my throat when I see something else. A girl crouched in the brush just ahead of me, watching with wide eyes. I recognize her as the district nine tribute, sent here with her older brother. She is clutching a tiny dagger, watching me with nearly the same desperation as the deer did a moment ago.

The games seem to give that animal instinct back to its players, because as I look at her, she seems just like an animal.

If Lance sees her, he will kill her. I gesture for her to run. To go. I jerk my head off in the direction of the brush, trying to tell her to run. I don't want to fight her if she does not attack me. I am not so far gone.

She comprehends to late, rising from the brush and starting to run just as Lance and Jade enter the clearing.

"Did you—" Jade starts but their eyes both catch the tribute fleeing. Lance lunges forward, charging after the girl as soon as his eyes catch her hair streaming behind her. She doesn't even get out of the clearing before he catches that hair in one of his huge hands and jerks her back, running her through with his sword. She cries out, her eyes bulging for just a moment before a cannon shot sounds through the clearing, sending birds flying from the tops of the trees.

It all happened so fast I didn't even have time to raise from my place on the ground.

"Guess that's another tribute down." Jade says after a pause. Even she seems a bit dazed by how quickly Lance went for the kill. She sees him as a predator just as I do, I can tell. A real danger in this games.

"Yeah." Lance comes toward us, wiping his sword on his pants, staining them red. "And what the hell were you doing, district 12?"

"I was killing a deer." I gestured to the animal on the ground. "Like I said I would."

"You saw the girl though and you didn't tell us. You were going to let her go." He glares down at me.

I straighten but say nothing as I hold his gaze.

"Tch." He rolls his eyes. "Guess you don't quite have the animal instincts you bragged about."

"No." I say flatly. "I'm not an animal."

_But you are, _I say with my eyes. _You have become just what the game makers want. You are an animal. But I will stay human._

Lance glares back at me, looking as if he would love nothing more than to kill me in that moment. Then he bends down and picks up the deer, slinging it over his shoulder. "Let's go back."

"Yeah." Jade says, watching the two of us carefully. When I look down I see her hands unclench a bit on her spear. She was prepared for a fight.

So was I. And I will have to be. Because when these games start winding down and the careers turn on each other, I will be the one Lance comes after first.

**_Holly_**

We have been walking for a long time when Briannte suddenly breaks away from our path and goes charging off into the trees. I move to stop her but Jasper rests a hand on my shoulder.

"Let her go," he says. "She charges after every little sound, hoping it's a tribute."

"Or food." I say.

"I think Briannte is much more concerned with killing people than animals." Jasper says. "She and her father are the ones I'm most worried about."

"Same." I say, nervously running a hand through my hair. "And the field is winding down. It won't be long before…" I glance up at him. "Before this little group starts breaking up."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. When he does, he doesn't look at me. "Yeah… With that cannon we just heard a few minutes ago, I think we have… four left before its just the careers."

I nod, feeling a little sick in my stomach. I don't want to have to turn on Jasper or Jade especially. But when the careers break up, won't they try to kill Willow and I like anyone else? It scares me to think I might have to fight him for real.

"Lets take a break." Jasper says, sticking his spear in the ground and sitting down on a log. "And wait for the little psycho to come back."

I nod and sit down next to him, still fidgeting. I'm thinking now of all the possible ways I can die. All of my possible killers. It is becoming more real to me with every second.

"You know, whatever happens, I won't be the one to kill you." Jasper says after a pause. "I don't want to."

I stare at him in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me." He shrugs. "I don't want to kill you. I'd kill the others if I had to but not Jade and not you." He glances at me, his eyebrows raising as he notices my look of disbelief. "What's with that look?"

"I just thought… that our friendship was temporary. Like everything in the games." I say.

"Our lives our temporary." Jasper says. "I hope our friendship isn't." he rests his hand over mine and I'm so surprised I almost pull away. But I don't. "I really do like you, Holly. This isn't some kind of act. And I'm not going to stop liking you when the careers start stabbing each other in the back."

Heat rises to my cheeks and I look away, breaking his intense stare. He really has nice eyes. I imagine he had a lot of girls running after him back in District 1. "I-I'm glad."

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah… flustered." I brush my hair back from my face. "Because I like you too… but I know I shouldn't because this is the Hunger Games."

"Screw what we should and shouldn't do because of the games. I don't care about the games." Jasper shrugs. "According to the games, we shouldn't even be allies. But when the careers start breaking up, I know exactly what I want to do. We'll make a smaller group. You, me, Jade and Willow. We can all handle ourselves in a fight, we'll make it. The four of us. For as long as we can."

"But what happens when there's only four of us left and none of us want to kill each other?" I ask.

"Haven't thought that far ahead." Jasper says. "But I am going to keep you alive as long as possible Holly. Just like your sister is trying to do."

"Thank you." I murmur. "For not wanting me to die. And for including my sister in your arrangement."

"I know you wouldn't go anywhere without her." Jasper shrugs.

"True." I say. I squeeze his hand. "But thank you all the same."

A cannon sounds nearby and we both stand quickly from our log, our hands going to our weapons in a flash.

"I think Briannte finally found what she was looking for." Jasper says.

"Yeah." I reply breathlessly looking at him. I know we're thinking the same thing.

Three more outsiders, then it's just the careers.

The breakup is coming very soon.

**_Katniss_**

My chest feels tight as I watch this scene and I have to sit down as my vision gets a bit spotty. I try to control my breathing to fight a panic attack but its difficult with memories of Peeta flashing across my mind. Peeta and his smile. The words of love he spoke with such conviction while I lead him on. Peeta falling into the yapping mouths of the mutts and the sound of his cannon.

It is watching Holly and Jasper that has triggered this. The connection between them has begun to spark and it scares me. It scares me because I know how this game ends.

"Sweetheart?" Haymitch observes me cautiously. "Are you breathing alright."

I nod mutely.

He sighs, rubbing a hand over the back of his head. "Want a drink?"

"Yes." I say without hesitation.

If there's one thing Haymitch always knows how to help me with, it's my supply of alcohol.

He brings me a full bottle of heavy liquor. I don't bother to check what kind before I take a swig. It burns going down but it calms my nerves a bit. I take a few good swallows before I try to speak.

"You know… Peeta's death still plays in my mind almost every day." I murmur. "Even though I didn't truly… love him. I was playing him to get sponsors. But he was being honest. Maybe that's why it hurts me so much still." I rub a hand over my face. "I did care about him. I did. It would be hard even if he hadn't really loved me."

"What are you getting at?" Haymitch asks.

"Jasper and Holly. Tell me you haven't seen it too." I look up at him. "The way they look each other. The way they talk. Every time they're together. Tell me you haven't seen it and that I'm just being crazy."

Haymitch hesitates before he says, "You're being crazy."

"Liar."

He shrugs. "Its hard to deny. I know you're not going crazy." He sighs. "Last year they got a star crossed lovers story. If this keeps going, its going to be far worse. He's a career and she's from District 12. I can practically see Granite's face if this continues."

I flinched a bit at mention of Granite and Haymitch glances at me. "Sorry."

"It's alright."

"No. Its not." He leans back on the couch. "Nothing is alright."

I raise the bottle, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "No truer thing has ever been spoken."

* * *

_**A/N: A new pair of star-crossed lovers. I didn't initially plan for Holly and Jasper to become a thing but they had a lot of chemistry when I wrote them so I couldn't help but make it a thing. Should be more from Jasper and Holly next chapter.**_

_**As always, REVIEW and tell me what you think. I always enjoy predictions for who you think is going to win the games: Holly, Willow or someone else? Hope you enjoyed and have a good week!**_


	16. Chapter 16: Star-Crossed

**_A/N: This chapter has some JasperxHolly going on :) So its fun like that. But of course it also has all the angst we know so well. Because its the Hunger Games. There is always angst._  
**

**_Enjoy!_**

**Chapter 16: Star Crossed**

_**Willow**_

The deer is well appreciated when he meet back at the cornucopia for sunset. While Lance and Briannte swap the stories of their two kills of the day, Jade and Jasper sit off to the side, talking in low voices. I wonder if they plan to abandon us soon. Or kill us in our sleep. If so, it seems important I stay awake tonight.

Azura and Pike also seem more removed. It seems everyone is starting to retreat to their district groups in preparation for the split. I get the feeling it will happen tomorrow. Maybe Holly and I should leave tonight. I think about talking with her but I'm too close to Lance and I'm sure he's still watching me like a hawk. Instead I continue to nervously pick at my meal, not feeling very hungry. I don't understand how the careers can so easily wolf this down.

"Are you okay?" Holly asks, scooting next to me. Across the fire, Jasper stops talking and Jade smiles and nods. She looks at me. Am I their first target for when they break away?

"Sure." I reply.

"You look out of it." Holly says. "You really should have slept last night. You're exhausted."

"I'll live." I say. A touch of dark humor creeps into my voice.

Holly sighs. "Willow, you can trust me to take watch you know. I'll stay up tonight so you can sleep."

"You need your strength Holly." I say.

"So do you," she counters. "You need to worry about your strength too. Because we're _both _trying to survive, aren't we?"

I bite my lip. Even though I have decided it, I don't dare tell Holly that I do not intend to survive. Instead I nod.

"Then let me take watch." She rests her hand over mine. "Please."

"Alright. I will." I relent. If I give her this small thing, perhaps she will not get suspicious of my plans.

I'm so worried about what she might say if she finds out that I forget to talk to her about my worries about Jade and Jasper and the other careers. And when the time for sleep comes, I clearly need it, because I am out like a light as soon as my head hits the grassy ground.

_**Holly**_

I am an hour into my watch when Jasper moves over to crouch next to me. "So, the ice queen let you take watch."

"With a struggle, yes." I sigh. "She's protective. Like a mother hen or something. You'd think she was the older sibling."

"She's not?" Jasper asks.

"No, I'm ten minutes older." I say. "But she's smarter. Smarter and wiser." I stare at my hands, folded in my lap. "You know, before I knew I would be put in the games and only Willow's name was drawn, I didn't feel as if hearing her name was a death sentence. I thought she could have a chance because she's strong and cold and smart. I thought there was hope. Then I got put in here with her. I think I weigh her down."

"You hold your own, Holly. It's her worry for you that weighs you down." Jasper says. "But she'll learn that you can take care of yourself. She'll see. I mean, look how far you've come."

"Yeah," I say.

"Anyway, I've talked to Jade about our little plan." Jasper says. "She supports it. We know we need to go sometime tomorrow if we're going to go through with it. Did you bring it up to your sister?"

"No, but I will." I murmur. "Tomorrow. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her tonight. She might take to the suggestion when she's had sleep, you know."

"Alright." Jasper says. "Even if you don't tell her, we can always kidnap her."

"You might lose a hand."

"Right." Jasper observes me a strange way that makes heat fill my cheeks again. I

shift uncomfortably, glancing at the ground, self-conscious of the burning in my cheeks. I can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks again. "You know, you shouldn't be this pretty when you've been trapped in this arena fighting for your life for a few days."

Now I'm really blushing. I dare say my face has gone completely red and I cover my cheeks automatically with my hands. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me. That's why you're so red, isn't it?" His smile grows a bit. I'm torn between wanting to hit him and wanting to bury my face in the dirt.

"Its just that… I mean you can't mean…" I stutter.

"Of course I do. I mean you were even more stunning in the opening ceremonies and during the interview. But you're still pretty here." Jasper says. He looks at me seriously. "I always mean what I say."

I manage a smile. "Thank you." It occurs to me that I should give him a compliment in return. "You have… nice eyes… and a nice smile." I manage.

Jasper laughs softly, only proving my compliment true. "Wait one second." He pushes himself up and hurries over to Jade's side. I watch as he shakes her gently awake and whispers something to her. After a pause, she arises with a nod, whispering something in return. She glances at me, her mouth quirking. I don't know why, but my face heats up again.

Jasper returns to my side as Jade takes up her spear. "Jade will take watch. But come with me. I want to show you something." He holds out a hand to me.

"Something?" I ask.

"It's a surprise." Jasper says. "You game, princess?"

After a pause, I smile and nod, taking his hand and letting him pull me up. We both grab our spears before we hurry off in the direction of the woods. Neither of us are stupid enough to go anywhere without weapons.

He leads me into a part of the woods I've never been before, a thinner section near the western side of the arena. We walk for ten minutes in almost silence before we break upon a clearing where the trees have split apart leaving a circle of starry sky above us. But Jasper did not bring me here for the sky. In the center of the clearing lies a shallow pool, so still it looks like a mirror. And perfectly reflected in the pool are the stars overhead. I am looking upon liquid starlight and the sight takes my breath away.

"When did you find this?" I breathe out.

"When I went on patrol earlier tonight, while the sun was still setting." Jasper whispers back, close enough that I can feel his breath on my cheek. "You should have seen it then. It looked like the pool was on fire. My jaw dropped. Just like it did when I saw you in that dress."

"Which one?" I ask.

"Both." He shrugs. "Definitely both. But neither of them floored me quite as much as you did when you challenged me to a fight during training." He took my hand in his and I do not pull away. "I never expected to find someone so interesting from one of the other districts. I wanted to find _something _interesting. I wanted to learn about the world outside of district 1. But I never expected you."

My mouth is dry. "I never expected to find such a friendly career. Not after all the careers I've seen in the past. People like Lance and Briannte. They were all like that."

"If volunteers had been allowed this year, you would have dealt with brutal careers like usual." Jasper says. "But they weren't. So you got us."

"I'm really glad." I murmur, looking up at him.

He doesn't reply. Not with words at least. Instead he leans forward and kisses me, drawing me in close to him. And I'm kissing back and not caring how many people are probably watching us right now. All eyes will be focused on us right now. Some will be swooning, some cursing. The reaction will be absolutely deafening. But around us, there is silence under a blanket of stars and the simple softness of his lips on mine.

We break to breathe and our panting fills the night for a moment. We can only breathe for a long moment as neither of us can find words. At last, Jasper seems to gain his bearings and speak.

"I am so glad I met you, Holly," he says. "Games me damned. I'm glad I'm here."

"You're probably going to die though." I say. "Is meeting me worth that?"

"Yes." He says. "What was life back in the districts really? Pointless. Our lives are always centered on these games anyway. The games are the end all be all of everything. Being here has given life a point. Even if its short, it has a point and that's what matters."

"I'm glad I met you too." I murmur. Maybe it would have been better to live on in district 12, but then again, maybe not. It would just be a lifetime of suffering or watching suffering. And now, district 12 is no longer a possibility. It is an old memory not worth having. _This _is worth having right now. "Your mentor is probably furious."

"Fuck him. He'll never be able to tell me." Jasper says. "I've never planned on getting out of these games alive."

My eyebrows shoot up. "But Jade said… you plan on deciding it with a fair fight if it came down to the two of you."

"That's what I told her." Jasper says. "But if it comes down to it, I'll let her win. I'll make it look fair, but she will win. Because I'm not going to live in a world without her. I'm not going to go back to the ignorant, pointless life of district 1. It wouldn't be worth anything without her."

His words mirror my thoughts about Willow. I exhale heavily. "I never intended on living without Willow either. She's a survivor. She will always live on and survive. But if she dies, I won't be able to. I'll waist away." I shake my head. "Maybe I'm a coward, but I'm too afraid to live a life without her. I'd rather die here, quickly. Besides, my family needs her for food. She's the one who provides for them. I'm just a pretty face."

"You're more than a pretty face." Jasper brushes my hair back from my forehead. "So I guess we both plan on dying."

"Guess so." I murmur.

"Then to hell with everyone else. We don't have to worry about the consequences of afterwards. There won't be an afterwards." Jasper says.

"Yeah." I murmur. "To hell with them." Then I pull him close for another kiss.

It doesn't matter that we are supposed to be enemies. It doesn't matter that we never would have met if not for these horrible games. Our differences do not matter. Not a single one of them. All that matters is that we are both going to die soon and we deserve this moment.

**_Katniss_**

I think my chest might collapse in on itself. I am gasping and seeing all the things I wish I didn't have to when I close my eyes. Peeta in the cave, whispering words of love to me that I echo without a trace of sincerity. Peeta kissing me and me going through the motions. Peeta falling to his death. His cannon rings in my ears like a gunshot. I feel almost as if I have been shot.

I cannot breathe.

This is panic. Pure panic. An attack that I have had before without warning. Jasper and Holly's confession has brought me to my knees with memories and guilt. They are star-crossed lovers just like I was once and it will all end in pain.

It will end in death because this is the games and no one ever wins.

"Sweetheart."

Haymitch's voice is faint in my ears, mostly drowned out by snarling mutts and cannon shots. My throat hurts and it takes a moment before I realize that it is because I am screaming my lungs out. Perhaps that is why I can't breathe.

"Sweetheart, look at me. Katniss!" His hands grab my wrists roughly, jerking them down from my ears. I did not know I put them there. No wonder I couldn't hear his voice. Haymitch's face is in front of mine and I become more aware of my surroundings. Seeing him drags me out of the hell of the arena, if only a little bit. I still struggle on instinct. "Katniss, I said look at me. Stay still." He jerks me hard and I still though I'm still shaking. My eyes focus on him and I start to breathe again.

"Haymitch…" I whisper. "Haymitch I'm sorry I—"

"Shut up and don't apologize." He says, pulling me to his chest and holding me close. "Just breathe and calm down."

I try to do as he says. I breathe in slowly and exhale slowly. I try to concentrate on mundane things. The smell of alcohol on his breath. The sensation of being rocked back and forth. The texture of his shirt on my cheek. When I finally seem to calm he sighs.

"You gave me a real scare there, sweetheart. I thought you were being murdered." He doesn't let go of me yet, only moves a hand up and down my back. "What happened? I didn't see."

That's right, he had been sleeping. My screaming must have woke him up.

"Jasper kissed Holly." I mumbled. "They kissed each other actually. They're a whole new kind of star-crossed lovers."

"Damn." Haymitch looks at the TV. They're showing a still of them kissing now as they talk about the phenomenon but I don't dare look. "Granite is going to tear the place down."

"Neither of them plan to get alive. They're fighting for their twins." I murmur. "It brought back so many memories. But they're both sincere. They aren't acting for the cameras or for sponsors. They're not liars like me."

"You weren't a liar. You were trying to survive." Haymitch says, his grip tightening on me. "Maybe if you had survived, you could have loved that boy. You didn't _not _care about him. Otherwise you wouldn't get like this every time you thought about him."

"I didn't care about him enough."

"Maybe not, but does it matter?" Haymitch pulls back and looks down at me. "No one wins in these games, sweetheart. If you cared enough, living on would be a thousand times worse. Don't beat yourself up for this kind of thing. The games are designed to break us down. You aren't alone."

I stare up at him. "I know I'm not." I hug him. "Thank you for waking up to help me."

"There was no sleeping with that racket." He shrugs.

"True." I say, pulling back. "And now I demand a drink."

"Coming right up."

* * *

_**A/N: **_**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Tune in next Friday to find out what will happen to Willow, Holly, Jasper and the others. And as always, REVIEW and tell me what you think. I'd still love to hear your predictions about the winners!**


	17. Chapter 17: A Cruel Twist of Fate

**_A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter... but it is also very intense so you should enjoy :) Not much more I have to say beside that. Just enjoy and REVIEW!_  
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**Chapter 17: A Cruel Twist Fate**

_**Willow**_

I slept deeply until I heard the scream. As soon as the sound pierced my ears I was on my feet, a knife in my hand before my eyes had even opened all the way. Through blurred, just-out-of-sleep vision, I saw two forms struggling desperately. Two girls. The one below was Briannte and the one on top was a girl I didn't recognize. Both had weapons. Both were out for blood.

Of the others, I was the first to awake. Jade had only just shaken out of a doze. She appeared to have been on watch but she must have fallen asleep. She struggled to her feet. Lance, Pike and Azura are just now waking as well, but I am closest to Briannte.

I don't want to help her though. I want to let her die.

"Get off me!" Briannte snaps, finally hurling the girl off of her. The girl's short sword catches Briannte in the shoulder, cutting in deep and she screams. The scream seems to break Lance from his sleep of trance. He was over to the two in a second, driving his sword through the back of the offending tribute, just as he did to the one who he killed yesterday. One brutal thrust and a cannon shot later, the attack is over.

I blink hard, clearing my vision of drowsiness and clearing my disappointment that Briannte was not killed from my head. My survival instincts tell me it would have been one less threat to deal with. My human emotions, what few are still functioning, tell me that this is a sick thought.

I hear Holly's voice in my head, funny enough, admonishing me. Telling me not to lose myself.

Speaking of which. Where is Holly? Where is Jasper?

Panic grips me and I stumble over to Jade, knowing she will be worried for her brother. If I trust anyone in this group, and I don't, it would be Jade. She understands the pain of having a twin in these games. "Jade. Holly… Jasper… Where are they?"

"They're fine. I've been listening for canons all night." Jade whispers. "Holly and Jasper went off to check something. They're close."

This doesn't do much to quell my fears but I know that if there hasn't been a canon, both of them are alive.

"Listen, Willow," Jade says in a low voice. "I don't know if Holly has talked to you, but we're going to have to break off soon. We were thinking—"

"Where the hell are Jasper and that district 12 rat?" Lance growls. "Where'd they run off to? They were on watch, why didn't they see the girl almost kill Briannte."

"I was on watch." Jade countered. "Jasper and Holly heard something. They went to go check it out. They're close." I know she's lying but the words slip so easily off her tongue, I almost believe him. Though she is so much smaller than Lance and not much bigger than me, she has no problem looking him in the eye, teeth barred, a dangerous gleam in her eye. "I didn't see her coming."

"If the other two had been here, they would have seen." Briannte said, clutching her bleeding arm with her hand. Azura is binding it with supplies from the cornucopia.

"Maybe you should watch your own damn back instead of relying on others." Jade countered.

Briannte's eyes narrowed. "You—"

"We heard the scream." I turn to see Jasper and Holly running back from the tree line. Holly is safe and uninjured. Some of the tension leaves my chest, but only some. Given the negative feelings now swirling in the air, it is impossible to relax.

"And the cannon." Holly says breathlessly. "Who died? Is anyone hurt?"

"A tribute that made a sneak attack on us." I say. "No one here."

"Briannte's arm is messed up pretty badly." Lance growled, whirling on Jasper and Holly. "Where were you two?"

"Checking on something," Jasper said. "We heard a noise."

"Yeah." Holly agrees, though I can see a blush rise in her cheeks. What was she really doing off with Jasper? If we weren't in the middle of a larger conflict, I would ask her.

"Just like I said, or are you deaf?" Jade said, stepping toward Lance. "It was my fault. I was watching the camp. The tribute caught me by surprise. Don't blame people that weren't there."

"Did they tell anyone they were leaving?" Lance asked. "They could have deserted our alliance for all we know."

"Please, if we were deserting, we wouldn't have left our siblings." Jasper gestured to Jade and I. "And we would have been smart and killed you in the night while you were sleeping."

"We had a deal." Pike jumps into the conflict. "We would stay together until all the extra tributes were dead. Then we would fight each other."

"The field is winding down." Jasper says. "But there are still two tributes left to kill."

"Funny." Lance says. "I see four."

Holly tenses and I step toward her, my grip tightening on my knife.

"Our deal never involved the district 12 tributes. You made that decision on your own, Jasper." Briannte agrees, getting to her feet as soon as Azura ties the bandage around her arm.

"You agreed to allow Holly to stay with us." Jasper reminds her.

"Holly but not her sister." Lance says. "Another call you made on your own."

"Leave my sister out of this." Holly says. There is a surprising ferocity in her voice. Her spear raises ever so slightly.

"I can handle myself, Holly." I whisper, holding Lance's gaze. I will not let my fear of him show. I will not give him that satisfaction.

"We should have killed both long ago." Lance says.

"You're welcome to try when the other two surviving tributes are dead, but until then, you don't touch them." Jasper says.

"There's no need to rush." Jade says. "We've given the audience plenty of bloodshed in the past few days."

"You don't tell me what to do." Lance says. "Especially since you're the one who let my daughter get injured." He takes a step forward and Jasper steps in front of Jade.

"Back off, Lance."

"Why should I, pretty boy?" Lance raises his sword a bit and Jasper seems to do the same with his spear. The tension between them is growing, almost to breaking point. Jade puts a hand on her brother's shoulder but Jasper ignores her.

"Because we made a deal. You want to break that deal and be hated by all of Panem? Its not the time yet." He said.

"Panem started hating you the moment you made goo goo eyes at that district 12 girl." Lance spit back.

I look back at Holly and her flush deepens. I have a better idea now, what Jasper and her were doing.

"Well, I seem more liked than you." Jasper says.

"Jasper, calm down." Jade warns. "We need to cool down."

"Jasper please. We don't have to do this now." Holly pleads.

"Shut up, little miss angel." Briannte says. "No one asked you."

"No one asked you either." Jade snarled in response. I don't even know what to say. There's so much activity going on around me. Words thrown back and forth. Pike joins into the argument while Azura stands, swaying on the spot, looking just as confused as I do.

I want to run. I want to grab Holly's arm and bolt for the trees. Like an animal trapped in a danger zone, I'm getting this uncontrollable urge to bolt before the tension snaps. But Holly keeps on talking to Jasper, trying to talk him down from fighting Lance. And Lance and Jasper keep raising their weapons. Their grips keep tightening. With each word they spit at each other, they seem more willing to take a life.

When someone draws blood here, the alliance will be over. If a career kills another, nothing matters anymore.

What happens next happens in a blur. I don't even remember the exact words exchanged between Lance and Jasper that cause them both to draw back their weapons, poised to strike. I freeze as I watched it happen. I freeze, knowing everything was about to fall to pieces. I construct in my mind how I will grab Holly first and take to the woods before they can come after us. I decide I'll let the careers rip each other apart while we made our escape. My mind goes into survival mode.

Holly's does too, but not for herself. Because she doesn't freeze in that moment. She moved forward, in between Lance and Jasper, holding out her hands. Thinking of the safety of others like she _always _does.

"Stop it!"

The words fall from her lips just before her eyes widen and she goes very still. Pain dashes across her blue eyes and she looks slowly down at her torso. I follow her gaze.

My eyes catch red, dripping down her front. My eyes catch sight of the weapons, embedded in her flesh. Lance's sword has pierced her lower back. Jasper's spear has pierced her stomach.

Stabbed. Holly has been stabbed.

Lance pulls back and so does Jasper. Jasper's eyes are wide with horror as the spear head pulls free of my sister's flesh. She tumbles forward and he catches her, lowering her to the ground.

"Holly." I whisper. Her name falls from my lips like a prayer. A prayer that what I am witnessing is all false. "Holly." She can't… she can't be on the ground. She can't be bleeding like she is.

Then her name tears from my throat, filling the arena louder than any cannon shot ever could.

"HOLLY!"

_**Haymitch's POV**_

Somewhere to my right, I hear a glass shatter as it slips from Katniss' hand. I hear the choked sound leave her throat.

I don't make a sound. Though the cannon has not yet sounded and Holly is still very much alive, I know that she is dead. I know there is nothing to be done.

I should be used to this, the death of a tribute. And I am. But something about Willow's scream rips through me.

I know it is Katniss' first time to watch a tribute die. I know she is thinking of Peeta again as she stands next to me, frozen.

Unable to say anything to make it better, I put an arm around her shoulders and hand her the rest of my drink. She downs it in one gulp, then throws the glass against a wall.

Effie will have a fit about that later, but neither of us care.

* * *

**_A/N: Didn't see that coming, did you? I feel pretty horrible, but it has to happen in order for things to go the way they need to. And it is the Hunger Games. Anyone can die at any time._**

**_Hope you enjoyed and tell me what you think!_**


	18. Chapter 18: Loss

_**A/N: Sorry this is a little late. I'm behind schedule on my fics. I updated my Fullmetal alchemist fic late yesterday too. Next week I should have my crap together better.**_

_**This is a depressing chapter but it uh... has a kicker. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 18: Loss**

I do not leave Holly's side for the next hour. As long as she draws breath, I will not abandon her. It does not matter that Lance talks behind me about killing us both and being done with it. I barely hear them talking. I am barely aware of Jade arguing my case or of Jasper's shadow over Holly and I. No one says a word to me, so I do not feel the need to acknowledge them. Or maybe they do and I just don't care.

My attention is focused solely on my sister.

I don't let her talk for a while because every time she opens her mouth she starts to say goodbye. I cut her off, telling her to save her strength. Talking will only make the wound worse.

It isn't an instantly deadly wound. She has been stabbed in a less dangerous place and if we had access to a medical care facility, she might be able to live.

As it is, she is dying a slow death to blood loss. But I can't admit that to myself. I brace my hands over the wound, adding pressure to staunch the flow a bit. Anything to give me a few more minutes with her.

"Breathe steadily." I whisper. "And keep your eyes open."

"Willow…" Holly says in a breathy tone.

"Don't talk." I choke out. "Don't talk. Conserve your strength."

For a while, she listens to me, falling silent every time I order it. But some several minutes later—or maybe hours, time has no meaning to me right now—she stops taking my warning and speaks anyway.

"Willow… listen to me."

"I thought I told you not to talk."

"I have to talk. I won't go without saying goodbye."

"Y-you're not going anywhere." I snap. "You're staying with me. You're surviving. You're going to win." My throat closes up. "You have to."

"It was always going to be you who survived, Willow." Holly murmurs, staring up at the sky, not quite meeting my eyes. Her beautiful blue irises are glazed over. The life has already begun to fade from them. "That's… who you are."

"I survive because _you're _with me. You're the reason I have to survive, Holly." I choke out. "Without you…"

"You can survive without me, Willow." Holly says. "I'm the one who's always needed you."

"We need each other." I protest. "You're my other half, remember?"

"One of us was going to have to live without the other no matter what."

"Why do you have to suddenly go and be the grim one, that's _my _job!" I mutter. Its an attempt at humor that falls as flat as it can. I think if I joke with her that maybe things will be normal. That normalcy will bring her back to life.

But the bleeding doesn't slow.

"You have to survive, Willow. For both of us." Holly says. "If I'm your other half… I'm going to be with you. So you have to survive." She rests her hand on top of mine.

"I'm going to." I hiss, squeezing her hand with all the strength I have. "I'm going to survive. I'm going to win."

"I know you will." Holly's voice. "I know…" She never finishes her sentence. The words die out in her throat as a final puff of oxygen exits her lips and her blue eyes lose their glimmer all together.

The cannon shot rings in my ears, rocking me to my very core.

I open my mouth to scream, but no noise comes out. In grief so strong, even sound seems pointless.

* * *

They decide not to kill me. They decide that they should wait until after the others on the field are dead before we turn on each other. Lance vows that if I get in the way or slow them down, he will kill me.

Let him try. Let him try and watch the look on his face when he gets a knife in the throat.

My sister is gone and I am numb. She says she lives on inside me, but I can't feel an ounce of her. She was with me I would feel her warmth and optimism. All the best qualities she had that I lack. But now, in place of any good feelings, there is a void.

I am empty. I am numb.

I am not aware of time passing much for the rest of the day. Night falls and I do not eat. Lance wonders if I wouldn't prefer dying. I don't look at him or respond but he doesn't pursue the question further. Perhaps Jasper gave him a look.

Jasper. I hate him. I hate him for fighting with Lance and being one of the reasons Holly is dead. I hate him for still having his twin sister, his other half, while mine is so suddenly gone. I hate him for every sympathetic look he gives me and for every glimmer of sadness I see in his eye.

_You have no right to feel sad. You did not know her like I did. You have no right._

My mind gets progressively blurrier as the day goes on but not with exhaustion. I do not want to sleep when the sun falls, though Jade says I should. She doesn't try to force me and eventually ends up going to sleep. Jasper takes watch. I suppose I am technically on watch as well, but I am not looking at the woods. I am scanning the other careers. The ones who caused Holly's death. I am observing their sleeping forms with interest, like I might survey a deer when on a hunt. I barely catch myself doing it. It is instinctual for me.

"Willow… I'm sorry." Jasper says.

My eyes snap away from the sleeping tributes and I look at him.

"I liked Holly. I didn't mean for her to get mixed up in that fight. I didn't mean to kill her. I never wanted to kill her." He ran a hand through his hair. "I know I can't understand but—"

"You're right. You can't understand." I say softly. "You've never lost anyone close to you before." I look up at him with hollow eyes. "You know we lost our father in a mining accident when we were young. That hurt so bad it took my breath away. And I was still young. I hadn't even known him that well." I trace my finger through the dirt, studying the little canyon I leave in its wake. "But we lost him. And it hurt. Have you ever lost someone?"

"We had an older brother we didn't remember well. It was also an accident." Jasper replies. "It hurt but I never knew him well."

"Any loss hurts." I murmur. "Even if its some kid down the street who dies of starvation. Or a woman who you've only spoken a few words to. It still seems to hurt." My finger pauses in its trail. "But I think there's always one person who you cannot even imagine dying because it would be inconceivable for the world to be cruel enough to take them away from you." I look up at him. "Do you know… how that feels, Jasper?"

My voice is foreign to my ears and sounds very distant. My whole world seems distant right now. As if it is trying to push me out of myself.

Jasper glances toward Jade, his shoulders sagging slightly. "No."

"Then you can't possibly understand… what I'm feeling." I say.

"I know. I know you cared for your sister more than anything. She came out of nowhere. I couldn't stop the momentum of the spear." He looked down. "I am sorry. I wish I could understand. I wish I could say anything to make it better, but I can't."

"You want to understand?" I stared at him. I am growing further and further away from the real world. Reality seems to be fading into the distance, leaving me behind. Or maybe I am leaving it behind.

"Yes."

"What its like to lose what you most care for? What its like to be truly lost?"

"Yes, Willow. Because I wish I could say something… to make it—"

"I'll help you understand." I say looking up at him. But I barely see him anymore. "You'll understand perfectly."

I am only barely aware of my fingers closing around the knife at my back. Then I am aware of nothing at all.

* * *

**_Katniss_**

I have been avoiding the TV the whole day, simply because I can't bear to watch Willow in her state. Watching Holly bleed out had been bad enough but watching her hollow eyes is torture. Its like she is gone.

I wonder if that's what I looked like the days after Peeta. No… I was more coherent. Willow has lost much more than I did. Her other half.

I stay in the room with Haymitch but I face away, only paying some attention to what the announcers are saying. I nurse what might be my fourth drink, trying to keep my nerves calm. "Any updates?" I ask.

"She's talking to the boy. Jasper." Haymitch says. "She sounds like a robot. Not even a gleam of light in her eyes. Like she's dead."

"Do you blame her?" I take a rather large sip.

He laughs bitterly. "Not a bit." He says nothing for a moment. I am vaguely aware of the conversation between Jasper and Willow though I don't hear the words. "She is worrying me though."

"Why?" I ask.

"She doesn't seem like herself."

"She just lost her sister."

"Its more than that. She looks like she might snap." Haymitch says.

I chance a glance at the screen to see what he's talking about. She does look like a corpse. But I can see what he means. There's something about her demeanor. The way she sits, a slight crouch, ready for a fight. The way she tilts her head reminds me of the wild cats in the woods by district 12. The way they observe prey.

"You want to understand?" she says. Now it seems almost as if some light has come into her voice. A hint of interest. She shifts in her crouch.

"Yes." The boy replies.

"What its like to lose what you most care for? What its like to be truly lost?"

"Yes, Willow. Because I wish I could say something… to make it—"

"I'll help you understand." she says. "You'll understand perfectly."

Jasper doesn't see her closing her fingers around her knife, but I do. "Haymitch—"

"I see it." His eyes widen. "What is she—"

Willow springs from her crouch like the most deadly of predators. I blink and she is next to Jade, sinking the blade into her eye with the same accuracy she does to the animals she hunts. The cannon fires in the same instant as Jasper's strangled cry.

"Oh god." I whisper. Willow's expression has not changed. It is still blank. Her eyes did not even flash when she stabbed Jade.

When I look at her expression, I do not see a girl mad with rage. I do not even see a human. I see an animal with an instinct to kill.

Haymitch doesn't say a word. He is, for once, as shocked as me.

Willow barely pauses beside Jade. The other careers are in motion after all, and she must take advantage of their drowsiness. She makes it to Briannte before she can reach her weapon, drawing her knife sharply across her throat. It takes the cannon a few moments to sound, but it does. Willow's strike was practiced.

Pike is the first on his feet with his weapon, charging her. She barely blinks as he stabs out. His spear is clumsy in his half-awake state and she need only tilt her head to the side to avoid its strike. The edge slices her cheek, creating a shallow red line across her skin. She retaliates by stabbing her knife up into his throat, twisting it in the flesh slightly before jerking the blade out. Blood splatters across her face, but she does not move to wipe it away.

"Pike!" Azura is screaming.

"Little _bitch!" _Lance howls, hurling his sword at Willow, it catches her in the arm, slicing a much deeper cut in her flesh. Even then, the pain does not seem to register with her. She looks at Jasper, her face as blank as it was moments ago.

"And now… you understand completely. All of you… understand." Then she turns and flees.

She leaves in her wake three bodies and three reeling careers.

Slowly, very slowly, I sink down back onto the couch, my hands cupped around my mouth. Haymitch hasn't moved and for once it seems he has no words of comfort to offer me. He has never seen anything like what we have just witnessed either.

There have been massacres in the past. But not of three careers in the span of only one minute. Not while they were asleep and certainly not by a non-career. The careers see no glory in fighting their opponents while they are asleep. But Willow clearly did not see it this way.

She saw an unsuspecting pack of animals and she killed them. Like a hunter would.

Like an animal would.

Before I can stop myself, I lean over and lose what little was in my stomach. I can't help it.

These games have just gotten a whole lot worse than they already were.

* * *

**_A bit brutal, yes? The field is whittled down to only six competitors now. What will happen next! Review and tell me what you think and have a great weekend!_**


	19. Chapter 19: Blank

_**A/N: Sorry for the late chapter. The document uploader was glitching. Enjoy this chapter in the aftermath of the career blood bath. Where will Willow go and what will Jasper do?**_

**Chapter 20: Blank**

**_Haymitch_**

After Willow's blood bath, I think we both want to stop watching. But we know that we can't. The careers' numbers have just been cut in half and Willow is still out there. The cameras have cut away from her though, much to my annoyance, focusing now on the scene of the massacre.

The district 1 girl, the district 2 girl and the district 4 boy are all dead. Counting Holly and the girl who tried for a sneak attack, that's five deaths in one day. A heavy toll for this late in the games.

Jasper kneels over Jade, his head in his hands. His spear lies at his feet. He is silent in his grief while the girl from district 4, Azura, hasn't stopped screaming her boyfriend's name for about a minute. Lance, the father from district 2, paces angrily back and forth, sparing his daughter only a few glances. He looks more like an agitated predator about to strike. Only the one who he wants to strike at is long gone. His sword moves restlessly in his hand and I know he wants to plunge it into something. Anything. Whether it's Willow or not.

This career alliance is not going to last. Another few minutes and it will crumble. It was already teetering from Holly's death but Willow just jerked out most important support beams, leaving it so shaky a breath of wind could send it tumbling down.

"You wanted to let the little bitch stay," Lance growls at Jasper. "And look how well that's turned out. Aren't you happy?"

Jasper doesn't reply. He is clearly still trying to collect himself. It will be bad for him if Lance tries to attack.

"This alliance has been flimsy for a while. And now look at it. Ripped apart by an outsider. A tricky district 12 girl we should have killed as soon as we lay eyes on her." Lance twists his blade in his hand. More restlessly. Restless in these games is dangerous, and I have watched all too many tributes snap in the past.

"You talk like our alliance wouldn't have ripped apart anyway." Jasper says dully, looking up at him. "As if we wouldn't have turned on each other. When were you and your daughter plotting to turn on us? When were Pike and Azura?" His voice is flat but his body is shaking. He only looks composed. Its probably an act for the camera. "We all had a plot. We all wanted each other dead."

Lance makes a snarling noise in his throat and takes a step toward Jasper but a wail from Azura stops him.

"Pike, please!"

It seems that this cry of anguish is what truly sets off Lance. Not a surprise since he doesn't seem to be the emotional type. He whirls on Azura immediately. "Useless bitch. He's dead! They're all dead!" He stalks forward and she, seeing him through her tears, scrambles backward on her hands. He kicks out at her and knocks her flat on her back. Before she can attempt to rise again, he plants his foot on her chest. "You might as well be too, don't you think sweetheart? You never were cut out to win these games. You haven't killed a thing. A useless lump leeching off of your boyfriend for protection." He snickered, pressing the tip of his blade against the hollow of her throat. "Now that he's dead, you don't have anyone to leech off of anymore."

"No. Please." Azura whimpers. But she has no weapon or way out.

Jasper, meanwhile, has risen, spear and hand. He seems to think about going to Azura's aid. But with so few contestants left, he knows better than to save lives. The only life worth saving now is his own.

So in a move that would seem cruel in any place other than the games, he turns with his spear and runs for the woods, picking up a canister of water on the way. He makes it to the trees before Lance plunges his sword into Azura's throat, ending her pleas with a spurt of blood and cannon shot.

"Six deaths in one day." Katniss murmurs beside me, looking almost as numb as Willow was not long ago. Almost. "The audience should be sated for a while now."

"Yes." I reply. In one day, the competition has been more than halved. Only five contestants remain. Usually, when it gets down to the final eight, the families are interviewed. But that number has been run through before the press could even think of grabbing their equipment.

"Where is Willow?" Katniss says restlessly, brushing her hair from her face. She is barely fazed by the murder of Azura. The games have already aged her.

As if in answer to her question, the cameras cut back to Willow, running through the woods. Her expression is the same. It does not seem that she's has registered what she has done yet. Her gate is unsteady and she seems to stumble of the trees however, almost running into several obstacles, but barely missing them. Her eyes are glazed. It looks kind of like she is sleep running.

"She doesn't look good." Katniss stands. "Where is she running?"

"Don't know." I say. "I don't even think she knows."

A few more strides and her foot catches on a tree root, sending her tumbling. She hits the ground hard, face first.

And she didn't get up.

Katniss surge forward, a hand to her mouth "She's not moving."

"No." I say. I listen for the sound of a cannon but thankfully, I hear none. "I think she's just unconscious."

"That could be just as bad." Katniss says. "If something… or someone finds her, she's dead."

"You're right." I reply. I want to say otherwise, but if Willow doesn't wake up soon… she is doomed.

We watch in absolute silence for the next several minutes, barely moving even to get a drink. There is a shifting in the bushes near Willow and Katniss sinks onto the couch, shaking her head. "No. Please no."

"Come on, sweetheart. Wake up." Haymitch whispered, though he knew it was probably too late.

A figure emerged from the bushes. A little boy. The nine year old who was put in with his sixteen year old brother from seven. The older brother was killed in the blood bath and it is miraculous the little boy has survived for this long. He has lived off of plants in the arena, excelling at survival skills and fortunately never coming in contact with other tributes or dangerous wild life. He has been lucky.

But I wonder how much these games have turned him. Will he kill Willow without a second thought now that the competition is low?

After what I just saw Willow do, I'd believe anything.

**_Willow_**

I wake in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by trees. I do not remember how I got here but my head hurts horribly and there is blood on my hands and clothes. Its enough to set my heart pounding but I stop panicking when I remind myself that I am alive.

I am still alive.

"You woke up." A tiny voice says.

I turn around and see a little boy. I recognize him immediately. He is the youngest contestant in these games and miraculously he has survived when so many older competitors have failed. I can't imagine what he's doing here though, so close to the careers.

It's a wonder the careers haven't found them. Speaking of which, where are they?

I sit up slowly, rubbing a hand over the back of my head. The little boy raises the knife in his hand slightly, a wordless threat not to try anything. I wave my hand dismissively.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I look around. I am in a very different place, not close to the cornucopia at all. I am in the middle of the deep woods, much closer to the great plateau. "What's your name? What happened? How did I get here?"

"I'm Cinder." The boy replies. "I found you unconscious this morning. You've been out a long time. I decided to sit with you and see if you woke up." He shifted. "If you didn't I was going to take your things. If you did… well… I was going to hope I could make friends with you."

"I'm glad I woke up then." I say. The sun has nearly set. I have been out for awhile. "But I can't… remember how I got here. I kind of remember running but…" I blink hard. "Its fuzzy. I—"

The anthem of the Capitol began playing, cutting me off. I looked to the sky to see who had been killed that day.

I am shocked by what I see.

First Jade's face appears. Then Briannte. Then Azura and Pike. Four of the six careers all in a row. Did everyone turn on each other?

And more importantly, why do I not remember this?

I must have been there when everyone started killing. It should be something I remember. I concentrate, getting only flashes of blood and panic and running.

"Wow." Cinder says. "Four careers at once." He looks at me. "Weren't you and your sister with the careers? Were you there when it happened?"

"I should have been." I murmur.

Cinder cocks his head to the side. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that… I don't remember." I look at him. "I don't remember what happened, Cinder."

* * *

Cinder tries to help me remember. He asks me questions about what happened but I can answer none of them. Eventually we give up, deciding that it can't be so important anyway. It is obvious what probably happened. A fight likely broke out and I ran for it. That sounds like me. And with no more Holly to protect I would not have stuck around the careers long.

"I'm lucky to have escaped the blood bath." I say. "When others died." I am surprised that Jade is dead. She seems smart and she was a good fighter. Not to mention she and Jasper were a team. He can't be taking this well.

He, like me, has now lost a twin sister.

I want to hate him since he was one of the ones who killed Holly. But the more I play the moment back in my head, I know it was an accident. Besides, I'd rather place the blame on Lance, who dealt most of the damage. Unfortunately it seems he has survived as well.

"There are only five people left." Cinder says. "Its getting close." He swallows hard.

"Yeah." I say. "I guess you and me have a chance, don't we?"

Cinder gives me a small smile.

Suddenly, the voice of the game maker filters through the night, startling Cinder and I.

"Contestants. With only five of you remaining, a time has come for a feast!" Cinder and I look at each other. A feast. Things are winding down. "But in a special twist, the feast shall not be at the cornucopia but at another location." The game maker sounds gleeful. "The feast shall take place at the top of the plateau. Happy feasting, contestants, and may the odds be ever in your favor."

The voice fades off, leaving only an echo in the night.

"So… I guess we should go?" Cinder says.

"The feast probably includes food, and in a few days we might not have any." I say. "We need to go. If we don't the game makers will drive us there." I stand. "Do you know the way there? Have you been there?"

"I was at the foot of the plateau sometime after the avalanche." Cinder nods. "I know a good way to get there." He studies me. "So… you're not going to kill me even though there aren't many of us left."

I shrug. "I'm a hunter and I'll kill if I need to. But I would never murder in cold blood." I look down at my knife. "I mean… that's why I ran from the career blood bath instead of fighting. I'm not an animal."

"No. You're too nice for that." Cinder says. "Should we sleep first? I can take first watch."

"Okay." I reply. I don't feel worried about falling asleep next to Cinder because if he wanted to kill me in my sleep, he could have done it already. "Wake me after a few hours or if you think something is wrong."

"I will."

I lie down and try to sleep, but in the midst of it all, I'm still wondering how the careers died. I wonder who was the first to snap.

I wonder who was the first to die.

I wonder, most of all, how I managed to survive.

**_Katniss_**

Sometimes it seems like fate can't get any crueler.

Sometimes fate surprises you.

* * *

**_A/N: Yes, Willow does not remember what she did! Will she remember or remain naive? Tune in next Friday! I always appreciate feedback~ Happy weekend!_**


	20. Chapter 20: Carry On

_**A/N: So... this chapter is way late. Sorry about that guys. Life stuff got in the way and I couldn't update until now. Its kind of a short chapter too... also, next Friday's chapter might be delayed because I'm moving out of my dorm on that day.**_

_**Never the less, enjoy and review!**_

**Chapter 21: Carry On**

_**Willow**_

We walk for most of the day, stopping periodically to track animals to see if we can kill something. We need food to keep up our strength if we are going to climb the plateau. All we manage to catch is a rabbit and a straggler from a man eating squirrel horde that got itself caught in a bush. It isn't much. But it's something to settle our stomachs.

We are both jumpy and we startle at even the slightest noise. We know that others are in the woods. Lance and Jasper, who might be dangerous. And another tribute. I can't remember who it is that's still alive besides them.

But it doesn't take a long time before we find out. Its near sunset when we hear another rustle in the bushes, one too big to be a small animal. Cinder and I tense and my hands go to my knives. I'm ready to throw if need be, especially if I see Lance.

But it isn't his hulking form that appears. Its Lakansha. The girl who I met a few days ago. It seems like an eternity since I ran into her coming back from the avalanche. But it seems she is still alive.

She blinks, staring at me. "You're alive and well." She murmurs. "I'm surprised. When I saw that more than half the careers were killed in one day, I thought you might at least be injured."

"No." I reply, my throat dry. "You're alive as well." My hand tightens slightly on my knife. "So what do you plan to do?"

"Not kill you. I told you, I want to avoid killing unless I have to." Lakansha replies. "If you attack me, I'll fight. But if not… I'd rather just go to the feast." She sighs. "I know its not good strategy for this late in the games. But you're still walking around with an ally." She nods at Cinder. "So I guess you can't talk."

"Guess not." I say. My grip relaxes, but only slightly. I'm still ready in case she goes to attack me.

"We're not really meant for these games, are we?" Lakansha sighs, looking off into the distance. "We're not blood thirsty enough. The careers were. But with most of them dead, maybe we have a shot, right?" she smiles bitterly and I return the sentiment.

"Maybe."

It's a shame that only one or neither of us will get out of here alive because I like Lakansha. She seems like someone who could have been my friend if we lived near each other.

She looks down. "I'm sorry about your sister."

My throat tightens. "I… yeah. I'm sorry too."

"Maybe you'll win for her." Lakansha shrugged. "Or maybe I'll win. Maybe the kid." She smiles a bit at Cinder. "Either way, may the odds be ever in your favor."

"Same to you." I reply.

With these words she moves on, moving off to approach the plateau from a different direction.

"You know her?" Cinder asks quietly.

"Not really. But we've met in the arena before and decided not to kill each other." I exhale. "I hope I don't have to kill her." I look down at Cinder. "Or you."

Cinder smiles nervously. "Same."

* * *

_**Katniss**_

We are monitoring Jasper and Lance more than Willow at this point. We know where she's headed and it's the two wild cards who worry us. I am most worried about Jasper, because I can't tell what he's thinking. But Haymitch thinks Lance is more likely to kill Willow than Jasper. I'm not show. They both blame her for the death of a loved one.

"Jasper looks almost as lifeless as Willow did." I murmur, leaning forward as the camera zooms in on his face.

"Almost, but not quite. He's still there. Still in control. There's a light in his eyes." Lance says. "Lance on the other hand is like an animal. Viciously searching for a target. I'm not worried about Jasper."

"Jasper will be more controlled if it comes to a fight."

"Someone like Lance doesn't really need control. He's big enough to pose a threat either way." Haymitch shrugged. "He's looking for Willow. Jasper is heading for the plateau and trying to stay alive."

"I guess so." I move away and lay down on the couch, rubbing a hand over my face. "Haymitch, how are we going to tell Willow if she gets out alive?"

"Don't assume she will." Haymitch says.

"I'm dreading that she will. I'm dreading that she'll have to live with this for the rest of her life." I shake my head. "I killed four people in the games. One was a direct kill. Two were with the bee hive. Indirect. The last was a mercy kill of Cato. The mutts had done most of the work first. But she? She murdered three people while they were sleeping. In cold blood. She's killed two others as well. That's five direct kills to live with and I don't think she can."

"She's strong." Haymitch sits beside me. "But you're right. If she gets out and the adrenalin fades she'll have to live with it and it won't be pretty." He sighed. "And she won't have sister to help her either."

"So what do we do?" I ask, looking up at him.

"We give her a drink, and we help her through it." Haymitch says. "Its kind of our job, as mentors. We're mentors through the games but it doesn't stop when it ends."

"No, it doesn't." I rest a hand on his arm. "You've been there for me ever since I got out of the arena. I couldn't do this without you."

Haymitch's mouth quirks. "I don't think I make the best support, sweetheart, being drunk as I am and all."

"You've been as much as I could have asked for." I reply. "You're not just a useless drunk you know. No matter how many times I've said it. You're not."

His quirked mouth spreads into a real smile. "Thank you… Katniss." His eyes drift to the TV and he stands abruptly. "We're about to have a collision."

"Between who?" I roll of the couch, back on my feet in a second. "Willow and one of the careers?"

"No." Haymitch says. "Lance and Lakansha."

I bite my lip as I focus on the screen. Haymitch is right. Lance has found Lakansha and he's stalking her, waiting for her to come near his hiding place. She stops and looks around, knowing something is up but I know that even if she tries to run, she won't make it. Lance is too big and too trained.

She doesn't even get a chance to run it turns out. Lance lunges from his place and knocks her to the ground with a brutal strike of his arm. He's on top of the girl in a second, pinning her to the ground and holding his sword to her throat.

"You stay still now." He hisses in warning and Lakansha stills, eyes wide. She knows she is dead. She knows struggling is pointless. "Good, nice and still." He brushes her hair from her terrified eyes. "We're going to have a nice chat, before I kill you. You tell me what I want to know and I won't put you through a world of pain until you beg for death. I'll kill you quickly. You understand?"

"Yes." Lakansha gasps out.

"Good. You're a smart girl." Lance says. "The little one. Willow. I really need to find her. You see she took something precious of mine and I've gotta kill her. If you could just be a dear and point me in the right direction, I'd be very grateful to you."

Lakansha's eyes narrow and, though she has nothing to gain from protecting Willow, she lies. "I don't know. Never seen her."

Lance stabs his sword through her shoulder and Lakansha screams in agony. I flinch and force myself not to look away. I already know how this is going to end so why am I watching?

"Now, now I thought you were smart, darling." He twists the blade in her shoulder. "I just need you to point me in the right direction. Then I'll make all this pain go away. You got that darling? It doesn't matter if you protect her because you're all going to die anyway. None of it matters." He twists the blade further. "Now… tell me."

Lakansha is breathing heavily and tears of pain make tracks down her cheeks. "Th-that way." She whispers, pointing in the exact direction Lance needs to go to find Willow. I resist the urge to kick something. "She's that way."

"Thank you, darling." Lance dislodges his blade from her shoulder. "Now, as I promised, I'll make all the pain go away." He places his blade at her throat and shoves it forward, stabbing her just as he did Azura. The cannon shot follows only seconds later.

"Only four competitors left." Haymitch mutters.

"And Lance is making a bee line for Willow." I say. "Is there any hope?"

"I hope so." Haymitch replies.

So do I. Even though hope is the most painful thing in these games, I can't help but pray that it will be enough to save Willow.

* * *

_**A/N: Four competitors left! Who will win? Not too many chapters left so review and let me know what you think!**_


	21. Chapter 21: Sacrifice

_**A/N: Yeah sorry this is late... by like awhile. I know I said I wouldn't update last week but then I was late on this week so... yeah, lots of things I've been up to. I've been busy since I got home but that will hopefully quiet down.**_

_**For now, enjoy this depressing chapter. Because everything in this fic is depressing. Because its a Hunger Games fanfic. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 21: Sacrifice**

_**Willow**_

We reach the foot of the plateau by sunset the next day and I decide we should wait for the light to try and climb it. There are too many places we could slip without light to see. I'm not worried about the climb. Its nothing I can't handle. But I'm worried about little Cinder. He'll need my help to climb it.

I don't want to lose him to these rocks like I lost Skeet.

"Do you think I'll make it up?" Cinder asks. "I've never climbed before."

"Nothing? Not even trees?" I raise my eye brows.

Cinder shakes his head. "No."

"But you're from District 7 right?" I asked. "Lumber? They have a ton of trees there. They must have woods as far as they eye can see."

"They do. But only workers are allowed up in the trees." Cinder says. "In a few years, I'll be old enough to climb. Then I'll help cut down the smaller branches like the other younger people do." He traces his finger along the bark of a tree. "My brother Winter never did that. He grew so fast and so big that they couldn't trust him to climb a tree without breaking the branches. He did well with the saw though." Cinder's shoulders sag. "I miss him. We had plans for how we were going to survive the games. Then he died in the blood bath."

"I'm sorry." I murmur.

"You shouldn't be." Cinder looks up at me. "He was about to kill your sister. It was the blonde girl from District 1 who killed him before he could."

My eyes widened. So Jade had saved Holly in the blood bath? A pang went through my heart and I felt a little sick. Jade was dead now. I never knew what she did and I hadn't trusted them. I wonder who managed to kill Jade when she seemed so strong.

"I'm sorry anyway." I said. "I mean, its not as if it made a difference in the end. My sister is still… gone." My throat tightens as I say it. I still can't manage the true word. It gets stuck in my throat. The same thing happened to me after our dad died. I couldn't say it for so long. So I used the word 'gone' instead. 'Gone' gave some hope for return. The tiniest sliver of a lie to keep my delusion going.

"Killing people wasn't part of the plan." Cinder said. "We were supposed to run for it immediately. But he got caught up in the rush. He started lashing out." He wraps his arms around his legs. "I don't know what happened really."

I bite my lip and rest a hand on Cinder's shoulder. I feel compelled to. He reminds me so much of my little brother, one of the only people I've ever been good at comforting.

Holly is the other one of course. How are mom and Walter taking her death? Do they blame me for not being able to protect her? Maybe they are just hoping I return home safely.

I plan to… but if I do, that means this little boy in front of me will be dead.

"These games turn some people into animals." I say at last. "It's a survival instinct to kill or be killed. It takes away what makes us human. It's part of their game."

"But we're still human." Cinder says slowly, looking up at me.

"You're right. Neither of us have lost ourselves." I say. "And as long as we don't, the Capitol doesn't completely win."

Cinder smiles and nods. I hope the Capitol is watching. I hope the world is watching and hears my words.

After a long pause, I stand. "Come on, Cinder. I'll teach you how to climb a tree."

"Really?" he asks, standing as well.

"Sure." I say, walking toward one towering oak with low hanging branches. "There's still some light out. If we get a little practice in now, you'll—"

A sharp gasp and short squelching sound stop my words in my throat. It's a sound I know well but don't want to hear it. I whirl around to see a large, imposing figure blocking my view of Cinder. I am just in time to see said figure jerk his sword from Cinder's stomach.

"Cinder!" I cry out.

"There you are, little one. I've been looking for you." The figure who can be no one other than Lance turns around, brandishing his sword still slick with Cinder's blood.

With a hiss I launch one of my knives at him. It's a bad shot in my panics and it only nicks his shoulder as he lunges toward me. I manage to draw my other blade but before I can bring it up, he knocks me down. I hit the ground hard and the breath is driven from my lungs. I am gasping, stunned, but even so I try to raise my arm with the blade. He grips my wrist hard enough to nearly crush it and I cry out.

"Drop the knife, little one." Lance snarls in my ear. I do because if I manage to get away, I won't be able to climb with a broken wrist.

Not that I think will get away. With him on top of me now, I know I'm going to die. I keep my breathing even, trying to make my face calm. Trying not to show fear. He's an animal after all, and animals latch onto fear.

"Is that the knife you did it with?" Lance asks. "Did you clean the blood off after you ran? Really clever of you, girl, waiting until we were weak to strike. Breaking the unspoken rules of the game. You didn't care. You're a little hunter. A born killer. Like me."

"What are you talking about?" I hiss. "I'm not like you."

"No, you're better, aren't you? I thought about doing what you did straight away. But you were gutsy enough to actually go and do it. Who would have thought? Little girl like you." Lance laughs. He is crazed. His eyes swirl with blood lust. "But I'm still gonna win. Your plan didn't quite pan out. You should have killed me."

"I would have loved to." I spit at him but I freeze when I find his sword at my throat.

"But you didn't. So now, you're all mine to kill. I'm going to carve you up so nice, little one. And I'll keep you alive as long as possible while I do. You're not going to look human anymore." Lance laughs again. "Not that you ever were? We're all animals, little one. All of us." He moves his blade up to my face. "Why don't we start… here?" He presses the tip of his sword into my face. I feel blood well up beneath the cut but I grit my teeth against the pain. I will not scream for him. I will not.

He jerks the sword down sharply and a pained cry escapes me as he slashes a deep cut in my face.

"Good." He said. "Make sure you scream so the audience can hear." He looks up at the sky. "We have to give them a good show, don't we? LET'S GIVE 'EM A SHOW THEY'LL NEVER FORGET!"

In his rage he doesn't noticed a tiny form sneaking up behind him, or the glimmering knife, my knife which I threw earlier, in his hand. Not until the figure stabs him in the side. My eyes widen as I see Cinder, still alive, stabbing my blade into Lance's flesh as far as it can go. His teeth gritted together from the effort. I can't imagine the pain he is in right now.

Lance howls and swats him away. In the process, he releases my arm. I move in a flash, scooping up the knife he made me drop and sitting up, driving my blade into his throat. Lance coughs and blood spills from his mouth and I see pure hatred in his eyes. Then I see nothing at all.

His cannon fires.

Disgusted, I push the man off me. My cheek burns and I'm panting, my head spinning as my adrenalin starts to fade. How close I came to death. I would have died if not for—

Cinder!

I call the boy's name, scrambling over to his side as fast as I can. He has fallen on his back near a clump of bushes. His side is torn open and he's bleeding profusely. Its amazing he's still conscious. His eyelids flutter as he looks up at me, a child looking for comfort in his last moments. I want to reassure him but it would be a lie. He is dead and we both know it.

Instead I grasp his hand. "Thank you, Cinder. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He squeezes my hand with the last of his strength and manages to squeeze out just one word.

"Win."

Then his hand goes limp in mine and a second canon fires.

I don't know how long I sit there, limply grasping the boy's hand, staring at his lifeless face. He is one more person I failed to protect. I could not protect Skeet or his sister. I could not protect this little boy. I could not protect Cinder.

This is the Hunger Games. There is no protecting anyone's life without sacrificing your own. Cinder sacrificed himself for me.

I can't let that be in vain.

Slowly I push myself to my feet, though my legs are wobbly, and I move away from the bodies so that they can be taken away. I gather supplies and move off toward the foot of the plateau.

Tomorrow I will climb the plateau and I will meet with the last competitor in the arena.

Jasper.

Tomorrow we will both fight for the twin sisters we lost on this battleground.

_**Haymitch**_

Willow's survival is basically a miracle, though a cruel one. Sorry to say but during her fight with Lance, I almost considered it kinder if she died. Then she wouldn't ever have to know.

Tomorrow she will face Jasper and perhaps he will kill her. It's a final show down. The kind of thing the capitol loves. Tonight everyone will be taking bets on who will win. Jasper, the career with a heart of gold who lost his star crossed lover and his sister, or Willow the trained killer, who's love for her sister made her the deadliest weapon.

They keep talking about it on the screen. I can't help but mute it. Nothing will happen tonight. The game makers know what the audience wants. They will keep all obstacles away from Willow and Jasper until they reach the top of the plateau. They would never let their games end so climatically.

"Thank you." Katniss says, when I mute the broadcast. We are both tired of hearing all of this talk. This has been a long, tiring games, especially for her. Who knew her first games would be such a blood bath.

I almost wish we got two weakling tributes that died early on. Then it would over quick and easy. It would have been a good way to introduce Katniss to the pain of the games. This is a horrible mix of bloodshed and hope that is ripping her apart from the inside out.

And it won't end when the final cannon is shot. It will keep going for Willow if she wins, a worse nightmare than Katniss or I have suffered. When she finds out. When she finds out what she has become.

"Haymitch." Katniss says slowly.

"Yeah?" I ask, looking at her.

"I want her to lose." Katniss murmurs, looking up at me. "Is that wrong? That I want Willow to lose so she doesn't have to suffer anymore?"

After a long pause, I sit down next to her on the couch and wrap an arm around her shoulders, the best comfort I can offer.

"No sweetheart. It's not."

* * *

_**A/N: Tune in next week for the final show down. Place your bets: Who do you think is going to win and who do you want to win? Anything goes! Let me know in your reviews and enjoy your weekend!**_


	22. Chapter 22: Atop the Plateau

**_A/N: The final fight between Jasper and Willow. Who will win and who will die. Not much to say except for, enjoy!_  
**

**Chapter 23: Atop the Plateau**

_**Willow**_

When the run rises, I am climbing. My hands move methodically from rock to rock, pulling myself upward. My muscles groaned from exhaustion. I'm at the end of my supply of energy and will. But I only need enough to win. To climb to the top of the plateau for a feast for two.

I know who awaits me at the top. Jasper. He's good with a spear and he will be a tough opponent. And he has just as much reason to try to win as I do. For his sister. For the one he cared about.

I hope before one of us kills the other, I can find out what happened that day. What killed his sister and the other careers? The question has been burning at me for awhile now but the blaze has only intensified with my encounter with Lance.

I scrape my fingers against the rocks and by the time I'm almost at the top, the rocks I touch are stained with blood. It is with a cry of exertion that I pull myself onto ledge. My arms are shaking from the effort. And I want nothing more than to lie there and catch my breath for an hour. Maybe two.

But then, only twenty or so meters away, I see another figure push himself onto the plateau. Jasper. He stays there for a moment, panting, before he looks up and his eye catch mine.

For a long while we just stare at each other, each watching for a sign of attack. But we are too tired to be able to move fast.

"So you're the last one." He called.

"Yeah." I said. "Not much of a feast."

"More for us." Jasper glances sideways. I follow his and see, as he does, food piled at the new cornucopia. It is a real feast this time, because we both need food. But I don't really feel like eating right now.

"Is there any point in eating?" I asked, standing. "In a little while, one of us will be back in the capitol eating their delicious food. And one of us will be dead."

"If I make it back to the capitol, I don't think I'll have much of an appetite." He says, standing as well. He has his spear with him. Somehow he managed to carry it on his back without stabbing himself. It must have been difficult.

"Me neither." I reply. "So… what happens now?"

"I guess we're supposed to fight." Jasper says. "To the death." He removes his spear from his back and I mirror him by pulling my knives from my belt. "How about a fair fight, ice queen? It's as good a way as any to end this."

"I guess so." I say. "Its too bad though… couldn't have been someone I _wanted _to kill."

"You don't want to kill me?" Jasper raises an eyebrow.

I shrug. "Well… Holly wouldn't have wanted to."

"Holly didn't want to kill anyone."

"No. And she never did." I bite my lip. "I'm… glad for that. She was never the hunter. I'm glad she never had to turn into one."

"Not like you, huh?" Jasper's smile is a touch bitter. I'm not entirely sure why. I've only killed in self-defense. No worse than him.

"Yeah." I answer. "I'm the hunter." I raise my knives. "Ready?"

He spins his spear around his hand and points it at me. "Yeah."

For a moment everything seems to hold its breath. Even the wind. I can imagine everyone all through Panem doing the same. Crowding around their TVs to watch this final battle. People are passing money around, taking bets on us. Amazing to think that right now I have the entire world's attention.

And yet it is just me and this boy. Just me and this fight. Alone in a silent arena with only a ghost of a sister to fight for.

I shoot toward him, keeping low to the ground to take advantage of his height. He swings his spear up as I come within range and I dodge to the side, taking a slash at his hip with my knife. He sidesteps and spins, trying to hit me in the back as I pass by but I drop low, rolling backwards under his spear. I manage to catch him with a shallow cut across the leg. He winces but doesn't falter, stabbing down. I roll backwards again and come up in a crouch, just in time to block a second downward strike by crossing my knives together.

He kicks out at me while my knives are occupied. I throw myself to the side but his foot glances off my rib cage. Moments later his spear tip grazes my shoulder, opening up an angry red fissure in my skin. I hiss but turn to block another worse attack.

We go at each other like this for what seems like forever. His spear will slice me, my blades will cut him. We leave marks all over each other but nowhere that is fatal. It's exhausting and painful and my moves get sloppier as time goes on. But he is just as sloppy so it evens out. It's a matter of time until one of us makes a mistake.

Jasper makes the first one. He stabs too far forward, knocking him off balance. He cuts me deep across the side, deeper than his other cuts, but he leaves himself open. I drive my knife into his stomach, right where Holly was stabbed only a few days ago. Its not as deep a stab as a spear or sword can make, but its enough.

I pullback, taking the knife with me. The slick sound of the blade leaving flesh makes me flinch more than usual. Jasper topples back, landing on his back in the grass, a hand over the wound. Blood spreads between his fingers.

I don't remain standing long before I sink to my knees beside him, a hand over my side. We've both made impressive marks. But I know his is worse than mine. He will go first.

"Think you one that one… ice queen." Jasper gasped out. "Guess its… for the best though."

"For the best?" I asked.

"I don't really want to live without my sister, Willow." Jasper sighs.

"I don't want to live without mine either."

"I know, but you can. You can survive because you know how to shut yourself off. You know how to keep going." Jasper says. "I don't have that ability."

"I can't shut myself off as well as you think." I say.

"Still… Holly was right. You always had the best chance." He nods at my hand. "Can I have… one of those knives? I'd like to end it quickly."

"You're sure?" I ask.

"Yeah. This is actually really painful. I'd like to speed up the process." Jasper says.

"Okay." I hand him the knife. He adjusts it in his grip.

"Thanks."

I bite my lip. "I'm sorry… about Jade."

"Are you?" Jasper's voice has taken on a bitter note again. I don't understand it.

"Yes. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Losing a twin." I say. "What happened? To her and the other careers who died. Who killed her?"

"Who killed her? It—" Jasper stops as realization dawns on his face. "You don't remember. You don't remember what happened?"

"My mind is blank. I keep trying to remember but nothing comes to my head." I say.

Jasper's eyes widen and I am surprised by the look of horror in his irises. "Willow…"

"What?" I ask. "What is it?"

The horror seems to fade and instead he gets this strange look. "Willow… tell me. You've always wanted to beat the capitol, haven't you? At their own games?"

"Yes."

"And how did you plan to do that?"

"By not losing myself in the arena."

"Right." Jasper says. "I want to beat them too… you know? But I see their game now. What they're planning. They want you to win, Willow."

"Why would they want me to win? I'm a district 12 girl." I say.

"You don't understand… if you win and sit and watch the replay of the games, they will win."

"You're not making sense."

"I'm sorry I can't explain." Jasper says. "But trust me Willow." His hand grips mine. I'm starting to think he's going crazy from blood loss. "Do you trust me?"

"Sure." I say after a pause.

"Then I'm sorry." He jerks my wrist forward hard and the next thing I know, I feel a pain in my chest. Slowly I look down to see my own blade buried to the hilt.

And that is the last sight I remember before everything goes black.

* * *

_**Katniss**_

The cannon shot rocks me to my core. And yet I don't find the room to cry. Because I see exactly what Jasper just did. He knew that the Capitol wanted Willow to win so that she could watch her creed of 'not losing herself' fall down around her. So that they could show, no one beats the capitol.

Jasper robbed them of that. He knows it. But there is no joy in his expression as a voice cries out.

"I GIVE YOU JASPER! THE VICTOR OF THE 75th ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES!"

But just before he loses consciousness, as they're about to take him from the arena, along with Willow's body, I see him give a tiny smirk. And I know its directed right at President Snow.

"He's bold." Haymitch says. "But he will suffer for this."

"He just tried to win." I say.

"But for the express purpose of ruining the capitol's game. They'll see anything as rebellion." Haymitch says.

"Right." I lean back on the couch. "I'm not… happy Willow is dead. And yet…" I trail off, unsure what to say.

Haymitch slips a drink into my hand. One last drink. "And yet." He agrees, clinking his glass against mine.

This hunger games, my first Hunger Games on the other side of the camera, is over. No more watching this death for a while. I made it without losing myself.

And yet.

* * *

_**A/N: So Willow is gone and Jasper is the victor, but the Capitol still might have something up their sleeve. A few more chapters left before this fic is over. REVIEW and tell me what you think!**_


	23. Chapter 23: After the Games

**A/N: I know this is late. I had a lot of stuff to do yesterday so things came up. But here it is, one day late. And its from Jasper's POV! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 24: After the Games**

_**Jasper**_

I wake up in a pristine room on a bed surrounded by doctors. One of them calls for more sedatives to put me back to sleep. I am briefly aware of the pain in my stomach before my vision starts to blur again, fading to black.

* * *

There is less pain when I come to again. I hear them talking about Willow. Remembering the sound of her cannon in my memory makes me feel better. She won't be alive for the Capitol to break. She has died before knowing the truth.

I have nothing to hide from. I know everything I have done.

Jade will have be proud of me for winning. I can picture her grin in my head. She would punch my shoulder and wink at me. 'Guess you're tough after all, little brother.'

'We're twins Jade.'

'I was born first.'

'Whatever. I'm still better than you.'

She would have won, if not for Willow. I would have made sure of it.

But if she couldn't win, I guess its best that I did.

* * *

I dream of Holly almost as much as I do of Jade. She smiles in my dreams, as she almost always did. A glare was so rare from her. Her sister must have stolen all her glares in the womb. Holly was a peace keeper, willing to stand between two people to stop a fight.

Her heart would break if she knew the massacre her death caused.

Willow loved her sister, I can't deny that. So much so that she was willing to do something so unthinkable that her own mind blocked it out.

* * *

I come to for good in a metal hospital bed, covered in a thin white sheet. My abdomen aches dully but its bearable. I'm alive. The Capitol's technology is amazing. They've practically resurrected people from the dead before.

One year, two tributes killed each other almost at exactly the same time. One got a knife, the other a knife to the heart. They manage to save the one stabbed in the throat. Easier to call back from the dead than someone with a busted heart I guess.

That's why I went for Willow's heart when I stabbed her.

I killed two people in these games. Both kills were out of mercy. For the girl bleeding to death after the attack of the squirrels, it was mercy for her pain. And for Willow, who would have felt even greater pain if she had lived.

I have kept my humanity. I know what I did and I do not regret it.

* * *

Facing Granite isn't as difficult as I thought it might be. I did everything possible to make him hate me during the games because I never intended to win. It didn't matter to me what he thought because I would never hear it. So I didn't care.

I have to face him now, but I still don't care. I follow him with my eyes as he paces back and forth, angry words spewing from his mouth. About how I got lucky. About how I shouldn't have taken pity on the district 12 girls. About how I was weak and wasn't worthy to be a champion like others who came before me. But I barely hear the words. I simply watch him move back and forth, back and forth. Like a confused predator trying to pick up a scent. He reminds me of Lance. Lance was a raging beast with no control.

But he was never the most dangerous. That was Willow. The practiced hunter. The one who could shut herself down completely to survive. She was the true predator. You just never noticed her because she stayed quiet and still while all the other animals roared and paced.

At some point, Grant must have realized how little I cared. He almost punches me in the face before he leaves, but my stylist Vitrius, warns him not to spoil me for the closing ceremonies. So Grant leaves without marking me. I imagine I'll hear more from him in District 1.

I'll hear more from everyone in District 1. I don't know how to face my family and friends. I never planned on that either.

Dying seems easier now. I almost wish I could go back and take my life instead of Willow's.

Almost.

* * *

Vitrus and his helpers work to get me ready for the closing ceremony. I am aware of my body being scrubbed down and my skin bronzed with some sort of spray. I am conscious of the makeup on my face, all placed to make me look healthier. And somewhere along the line, I am aware of them fitting me in a golden suit that could rival even the flamboyance of Caesar Flickerman. But I never comment. And my eyes are perpetually glazed.

I don't even recognize myself when I look in the mirror. It seems like a shadow of the old me staring back. A stupid boy who knew nothing of life outside his perfect district. A boy with a confident gleam in his eye, ready to take on the world.

A boy with a sister.

A boy with hope.

"Remember. You're supposed to be a charmer." Vitrius reminds me. "Give them what they want."

I plaster on the fakest of charming smirks. "Alright. I can give them a show."

The smirk does not reach my eyes.

* * *

Just before the interview, I am waiting back stage with my team, trying to will myself to care about the whole event. I wonder if this is how Willow felt during the first interview. She was so stoned faced the entire time. I wish I could play that role now. But I am not the cold one. I am the charmer.

I feel a hand tap my arm and I spin around on reflex. The person who tapped me backs up one step, holding her hands up in a placating way. "Its alright," she says. "I just wanted to talk to you."

It's the District 12 coach. Katniss Everdeen. I remember well enough what happened last year. The year of star-crossed lovers. I can't help but smugly think Holly and I caused more of a stir than she did. But I don't say so. It is because of Katniss that Quarter Quell had the theme it did. She and her lover boy who died were the talk of Panem. Snow wanted to see more tragedy like hers.

"What about?" I ask, recovering quickly. This feels awkward to me. This coach watched me kiss one of her tributes and kill the other.

"I wanted to thank you," she says. "I know why you did what you did. I know you would have rather died." She rests a hand on my shoulder. "But because of you, she'll never have to see."

"Well, I—" I start but she pulls me closer so she can whisper in my ear.

"I'm also here to warn you. I know why you did it, but they can't know. If they know you killed Willow to wreck their game, they will hurt you. So when they ask, you have to pretend. You have to say you did it for your sister, because you just couldn't let her killer live without a fight. You have to say it was all a ruse so that you could catch Willow off guard and win. Whatever you do, play innocent." She pulls back and pats my shoulder. "Good luck."

"Yeah… thanks." I say breathlessly. I didn't expect gratitude because I didn't think anyone but me would understand why I did what I did. But I expected a warning even less. If Katniss saw it as rebellion, than others will too. And they will hurt me for this.

"Time to go." Vitrius says.

Before I have much time to think of a strategy, I am ushered onto the stage and into the gaping maw of the crowd. Bright lights fill my vision and cheers flood my ears. I walk to the victors chair in a daze, sitting next to Caesar as he shakes my hand. Then he asks the first question.

"Now Jasper, it was a thrilling final battle between you and Willow, I think we can all agree there. Am I right, folks?" He beamed at the crowd and they roared their approval. "But I think what we all want to know is, what changed? It seemed like you were down and out. Like you had given up. But you came back. Tell us what you were thinking."

Time to act. Time to put on a show.

I sighed. "Well Caeser… there were two parts of me at war in that moment. Part of me just didn't want to keep living without my sister." The chorus of 'aww's from the crowd make me sick but at least they're following me. "Unless you have a twin, you really don't know what its like. She was my other half. She still is. Sitting here today, it feels like part of me is missing. So at first, yeah, I did want to die." I lean forward. "But then I thought, what would Jade think of me if I gave up? She would call me a lot of names, that's for sure." A laugh. I have them wrapped around my finger. "I had to win for her. It was the least I could do. This title should have been hers. She deserved it. So I had to get it for her." I shook my head. "I got Willow to give me a weapon, saying I would take my own life. She trusted me because she thought I had given up. I'm not saying I liked killing her. But I had to. I had to win for Jade. Simple as that." I sit back in my chair and the audience applauds. I have put on a convincing show. I almost believe the lie coming from my own lips.

Part of it is true of course. But I didn't change my mind because of Jade. I changed my mind because of what Willow didn't know.

"I'm sure your sister would have been proud." Caeser pats my knee. "Now, let's talk about someone else in your life. Last year we had the star-crossed lovers of district 12 but this year we had a different sort of love. Between people of two different districts. Tell us about Holly."

I take a deep breath. How do I talk about her without sounding rebellious? "Well… you can't help who you fall in love with, can you?" the words hurt to say. Not because they are lives but because they are all too true. "She challenged me during training to a practice match with spears. I thought that was pretty gutsy. I had to pay attention to her. And she was beautiful."

"That much is certain." Caesar nodded.

"Neither of us planned on getting out of the arena alive." I continue. "So we thought… well, what do we have to lose? We don't have much time left. We didn't have to worry about being separated by our districts again because we'd both be dead." I sigh. "I'm still alive, of course. Things didn't quite go as planned."

"They rarely do in the games." Caesar said. "Did Willow know about you and Holly?"

"She suspected." I say. "I don't know if she… fully understood."

"And when Willow killed Jade. What was that like for you?" Caesar said. "Did it make… killing Willow more satisfying?"

"No." I said after a long pause. "No. It didn't. Because I understand. I had a hand in killing Willow's twin. She killed mine. We both understand what its like to lose our other half. She just won't have to live with it." I shrug.

"Yes." Caesar gives and odd smile before he stands. "Before we watch the highlight reel, we have a bit of a surprise for everyone." Everyone in the crowd makes curious noises. "Yes, a surprise. A new development. After 75 years of games, one would think we can throw in a few twists every once and awhile."

I don't like the sound of this. I shift in my chair but try to keep a straight face.

"These games were hard. Harder than most because we had to watch families torn apart." Caesar places a hand over his heart. "President Snow understands your sacrifice. And you sacrificed much over these years. And sometimes, sacrifice is deserving of reward. So, we present to you a surprise." He gestures to right stage and the crowd follows his hand. A figure moves onto the stage, garbed all in black, sparkling with bits of red and orange gems that look like sparks. The light flashes over her.

My breath catches in my throat and panic rushes through me. No. This can't be happening.

And yet there she stands, looking dazed but very much alive.

"I give you _Willow _the _second _winner of the 75th Hunger Games!"

* * *

_**A/N: I am ever fond of the big twist, followed by a cliffhanger. Tune in next week to see what happens :)**_


	24. Chapter 24: Realization

**_A/N: Yeah, this is waaay late and I know I'm behind and out of order with my updates right now, but here's the next dramatic chapter!_**

**Chapter 24: Realization**

_**Willow**_

When I heard my own cannon, I thought it was over. In a burst of blinding pain and bright white light, I thought I was going to see my sister. In that moment of death, I felt oddly peaceful. Because I could drift away into nothing without fighting anymore. Without surviving anymore.

When it came down to it, maybe I was just trying to win out of obligation. In truth, I didn't want to live without my sister. I didn't even want to survive. I wanted to join her beyond the veil of this dark world.

I wanted to stop fighting.

I thought I saw her face, smiling down at me. In my dreams I lay on the ground and she leaned over me, holding out her hand. Her golden hair blew about in some pleasant breeze and her blue eyes were full of life. I reached out for her. I tried to grasp her hand in mine.

Then she slipped away, and I found myself back in hell.

* * *

I am aware of machines and voices. Of beeps. Of pain. I see blood on strange looking tools and wondered absently if it was mine. But it doesn't make sense that I would bleed in paradise. I lost.

I heard my own cannon.

I drift off hearing again, ringing over and over again in my ears, and I convince myself that this is just a bad dream. If I close my eyes, I will wake up in paradise.

I wake up in hell about five times. And I remember very little each time I do. When I come to for good, my heart beats strong in my chest, as if it has not been stabbed. People mill around me, poking and prodding me with makeup brushes instead of scalpels. I wince as a patch of hair is ripped from my leg.

It's like déjà vu. Were the games I imagined just a bad dream? Have the real games not started yet? Maybe Holly is waiting for me somewhere nearby.

"Oh good, she's awake." One of the workers squeals. "Just in time. We're almost done with you. We're running late, we don't have long until the closing ceremony."

"What…" I mumble, blinking hard. I wince as another patch of skin is ripped away. "I won?"

"Isn't it wonderful? Oh it's a big surprise for everyone dearie. Wait til they see you." A woman with freakishly long eyelashes leans over me, plucking at my eyebrows. "No one knows you're alive. Not even your mentor. It shall be the most wonderful surprise."

It sure is a surprise to me. "Heart… my heart…"

"Oh yes, how is the new heart doing?" a man with bright blue hair asks.

My blink. New heart? They gave me a… new heart?

"With your other heart stabbed, we could not save it." I turn my head to the side to see a doctor approaching. He is more sensibly dressed than the bird like people that surround me, but I despise him all the same. "Fortunately, we have made grand headway on an artificial heart. We were able to test it on you. And it has taken rather well." He grins widely, showing rows of gold and silver teeth. "Beating strong?"

"Why would you give me a new heart?" I croak, resisting the urge to stand as I was still being poked and prodded. "Jasper… didn't he live? He wasn't injured like me."

"Oh, that's the surprise, my dear." The doctor said. "The President's twist on the 75th Hunger Games. Two victors."

"If that was the twist, why didn't they announce it before Jasper and I started fighting?" I ask.

"For the thrilling conclusion, of course," the doctor replies.

"Oh it was a heart stopping battle, pardon my joke." The blue haired man chuckles.

"I was scared to death." The purple hair woman nods.

"So… I have a new heart because you wanted to have a good finale." I mutter.

They all blink as if they are not sure of my point. "Well of course."

I don't say anything else. I turn my eyes to the ceiling trying to stay calm. A new heart beat in my chest, mimicking the old one so well, it was almost mocking. The least they could have done was give me a heart that didn't respond to the broken thoughts of Holly.

But each time she crosses my mind, my heart jolts painfully. It mimicks all too well. And for not the first time, I wish I have no heart at all.

* * *

They slip me into a dress Cinna must have designed though I do not see Cinna. Perhaps he does not know that I'm alive either. It's a surprise for everyone.

The dress is black as coal, but without the sparks of light this time. It is a dress of danger. A dress of a survivor. But there is no Holly in this dress.

Cinna's designs are so fitting, even if he doesn't mean them to be.

They guide me along through halls and back rooms so quickly I feel as if I am in a daze. They crowd around me so as to block me from view. If I wanted to, I could go limp and I wouldn't fall over. They would keep me moving.

"Hurry, hurry, its almost time."

"Oh, this is so exciting."

Then suddenly I'm in the wings of the stage, the same one I sat on for the first interviews. Jasper is already there, talking with Caesar. He looks good, as if he never went through the games at all. But his easy smirk is forced this time. Caesar might not see it, but I do.

"_You stabbed me." _I think. "_Why? Why did you trick me when you said a fair fight?"_

Maybe it was last minute panic. He didn't want to die as much as he thought. He did say some things that didn't make much sense. About not wanting the capitol to win. He even asked me to trust him right before he stabbed me in the heart. I'm not angry… not really… I'm just so confused.

Everything right now confuses me. I still feel like I am in a dream.

I hear Caesar say something about a surprise and then I feel hands push at my back. Before I know it, I am on stage, surrounded by lights and gasps of a joyous crowd. I see faces beaming and smiling when they see me.

Except for some.

Jasper looks horrified. Maybe its because he worries I will want vengeance. But when I look out into the crowd, that can't be it.

Because Haymitch and Katniss are horrified too.

Am I really so bad that my mere survival is a bad thing?

What is the reason for their fear?

What is the reason for mine as Caesar leads me to a second chair and helps me take my seat?

* * *

_**Jasper**_

This cannot be happening. I was willing to live so that Willow would not suffer the truth. And in a cruel twist, here she is but I'm still alive to witness it. I don't even try to hide my horror as I watch her take her seat. She looks dazed. Confused. Afraid herself.

But as soon as Caesar asks her the first question, she hardens her mask like she was born to do it.

"How are you feeling Willow?" Caesar asks.

"Aside from being not dead?" Willow asks flatly. "Well, a little dazed. A little surprised. A little pissed off. But other than that, fine."

There are a few nervous laughs but Willow isn't playing for the audience.

"Yes, it must be a shock." Caesar nods. "You thought you were going to die."

"I was stabbed in the heart, so yeah."

"But you have a new heart now."

"So they tell me."

Caesar continues to fire off questions about Willow's time in the arena. She answers them all quickly and without any dramatization. Sometimes the audience responds, especially when she talks about Holly, but mostly they are silent.

I don't think they are interested in Willow's answers anyway. They just want to see her reactions.

"You experienced a bit of a black out, didn't you?" Caesar asks. "A gap in your memory. Can you tell us about that?"

"Sure." Willow shrugs. "I blacked out the night after my sister died. When I came to I was far away from the careers and four of them were dead. I can't remember what happened."

"What do you think happened?" Caesar asks.

"That my survival instincts kicked in and got me to safety." Willow says.

"We will see." Caesar says. "Fortunately, we have a way to fill you in with what happened. We have the recap of the game now. You won't have to wonder anymore about what happened."

I pale and stiffen in my seat. As the screen descends, I try to catch Willow's eye. But she is focused on the screen, her curiosity insatiable.

I'm barely watching the recap through most of it, but I have a hard time watching Willow too. Though we haven't reached the massacre love, this recap does make a big deal of Holly and I's forbidden love. She doesn't look at me in surprise though, so maybe she isn't shocked. Or maybe she doesn't want to give the audience the pleasure of a reaction.

They show Willow's early kills. The boy she drops down on from the tree, her kill of the giant bear and the girl who gets one of her knives buried in her head. They make a big deal about how willing Willow is to protect her sister. She tenses slightly but she has no idea what is coming. Not like me.

Watching Holly's death over again is hard and it must be especially hard for Willow. It's the closest she gets yet to a reaction. She bites her lip and looks away, breathing steadily and deeply. I have a hard time keeping a straight face as well.

Especially since I know what comes next.

"You want to understand?" Willow says on the screen, with those same glazed eyes I remember.

"Yes," I respond.

"What its like to lose what you most care for? What its like to be truly lost?"

"Yes, Willow. Because I wish I could say something… to make it—"

"I'll help you understand," she says "You'll understand perfectly."

Then her fingers curl around the knife. The real life Willow's mouth starts to open as if she plans to tell the image of her to stop. But there is nothing she can do to stop this massacre.

I have to close my eyes during the massacre. I can't watch Jade die again and I can't watch Willow. Everything she knows is crashing down around her now and I can't watch it. I think I hear a choked noise from beside me but that's the closest she comes to a scream.

I open my eyes when its over, in time to see Lance kill Azura. After that, it's a story of vengeance between Willow and I. Leading up to the great battle on the cliff. But Willow doesn't move or react to anything else. She is frozen. Her eyes wide. When I look closely I can see her trembling. Emotions tumble through her eyes.

She does not attempt a mask anymore.

The recap ends and the audience cheers. I see Willow's form ripple, like a shudder tearing through her whole being. Caesar beams for the crowd, then turns to Willow. "So, Willow, tell us—"

Willow does not let him finish. She's out of her chair in a second, knocking him to the ground, her teeth barred in a snarl. Her hands wrap around his throat.

"You sick bastards." She screeches. "All of you. Sick bastards, bringing me back to life just so you could see my face. You all deserve to burn in HELL!"

I jump from my chair, grabbing Willow by the waist and pulling her off Caesar. The audience is in an uproar as I try to hold onto her. She is wild but I am bigger and stronger than her.

"I'm sorry." I whisper in her ear above the clamor. "I'm sorry Willow. I tried to tell you. I tried to keep you from seeing."

Her struggles seem to lessen into violent shaking and heavy breathing but I don't let go.

"I'm sorry," I repeat, and I keep on repeating it.

I'm sorry your sister died.

I'm sorry you killed mine.

I'm sorry I didn't kill you.

I'm sorry you saw that.

I'm sorry the game makers won.

* * *

_**A/N: One more chapter left before this fic is over! Thanks for sticking with me this long guys. REVIEW!**_


	25. Chapter 25: Survivor

_**A/N: The final chapter of Hidden Bitter Darkness. How will it end? Read to find out. Thanks for sticking with me all of this time. I appreciate every review. I hope you enjoy this last chapter!**_

**Chapter 25: Survivor**

_**Willow**_

Sometime during the slaughter on screen, I lose awareness of everything else around me. I stop hearing the easily manipulated crowd. I stop seeing Caesar's overly animated face. I stop feeling the pain in my palms as I grip the edges of my seat too tightly.

Every sense is concentrated on one thing: watching the girl that is apparently me kill in cold blood.

The girl on screen is not a human. She is a practiced hunter. A lethal assassin born for the games. She kills without mercy or thought. She moves on instinct. She doesn't flinch when the blood splashes on her face or at the screams of protest. She is blank. She is numb.

I wish I could be as numb as her right now. Because the feeling in my chest is all consuming. It burns up my insides and makes it hard to breathe. It lights up my nerves, causing my whole body to shake. My jaw is unhinged. My eyes are as wide as they can go. But no matter how hard I look, I cannot unsee this.

Now I know why I was kept alive. Why they didn't just let Jasper win. They wanted to see my face when I find out. They wanted this. They wanted the whole world to see me break.

And the worst part is: they do.

As soon as I am aware of Caesar speaking at me, I lunge at him, going for his throat. They want a killer? Fine. I'll show them exactly what the games have made me. I screech insults and curse words at him but I don't really know what I'm saying. I might as well be snarling like the animal I am.

I feel arms around me, pulling me back, restraining my own from clawing. I kick and struggle as hard as I can but the person holding me is too strong. My size has always been my downfall. But I don't let that temper me.

"I'm sorry," my captor whispers. "I'm sorry Willow." His voice is soft but it's the first thing that reaches me in my rage. Jasper. "I tried to tell you. I tried to keep you from seeing."

That's right, he did. He thought when he stabbed me in the heart he would save me from ever knowing. But the game makers beat him. They beat both of us.

My struggling lessens. I hear footsteps nearbye and become aware of a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Willow." Katniss mutters. "We're going to get you out of here. Just stay calm."

"Apologies." I hear Haymitch from close by. "She's clearly sick, you know? All the medicine they're giving her for the new heart. Its messing with her. She just needs time." My vision is blurry as I look up but I see people with guns on the stage. They were thinking of shooting me.

'_Let them,' _I want to say. _'Just let them.'_

"We'll take care of her." Haymitch says. "We promise." He turns toward us and points at Jasper, who has not let me go. "Come with us. _Don't _let her go."

"I won't." Jasper murmurs.

I let them drag me from the stage, still in an uproar. It looks like I've canceled the broadcast. They'll have to reschedule the crowning. This disrupt in the capitol's plan gives me some satisfaction, but it is overweighed by self-hatred.

"_I am a monster. I am an animal."_

They move me into the elevator and all the way up to the top floor. The district 12 room. When the door closes, Jasper releases me and I sink to the floor.

"You should have let them kill me." I mumble. "You should have let them shoot me and be done with it."

"No. I shouldn't have." Haymitch says. "Because you won the damn games and you have to live with that like the rest of us do. You'll hate it but you have no choice."

"You saw what I did…"

"I don't _care _what you did, sweetheart!" Haymitch says. "I don't care. Yeah, maybe it would have been better if Jasper's plan had worked and you had died without knowing but you know now and there's nothing you can do about it! We all watched people die, Willow. We all killed. We all lost. Inside the games and out. And for the last few decades I've been sending child after child into that arena and watching them die!"

I shake my head. "You don't understand… you don't understand."

"Haymitch." Katniss murmurs. "You can't reason with her right now. Look at her. She's in shock. She needs something to put her to sleep."

"_Something to put me to sleep forever," _I think.

"Fine." Haymitch says. "We'll get her some morphine and some more medicine for her heart. It should knock her out for a while."

"I'll stay with her." Jasper says. "Until you get back."

"Thank you." Katniss rests a hand on his shoulder. "For everything." She looks at me. "We'll be back soon, Willow."

_Why don't you kill me? Can't you see what I am? I'm a monster. I could kill you all._

"Damn, ice queen." Jasper rubs his shin. "You got a real good kick in there. I'm gonna have a bruise from this." His mouth twitches upward into a smirk but I see that its all forced. I realize now as I look at him that I am staring at a boy who's sister I murdered in her sleep. A boy who loved my sister and protected her while I was gone and I returned the favor with a knife to Jade's throat. And yet he smiles at me. He tried save me in the arena. He tried to save me tonight. He apologized to _me_.

"I'm… sorry." I whisper.

"Nah, it doesn't hurt that bad." Jasper shrugs. "I'll get over it."

_Liar._

"I'm sorry." I repeat. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry." My head dips and I pull my knees up to my chest as I begin to sob, repeating the words over and over again. Each time the words leave my mouth my guilt only burns hotter. Because no words can ever heal this.

"Hey," I hear Jasper murmur. "Its going to be okay."

No it isn't. That's what it means to live in Panem. To live in a world where the Hunger Games exist.

Nothing will ever be okay.

* * *

_**Katniss**_

As soon as we are in the elevator, I punch the wall so hard that the skin on my knuckles split and blood wells to the surface.

"Sweetheart, what are you trying to do?" Haymitch grabs my hand and examines the injury.

"I don't know." I give a hollow laugh. "I wanted to strangle Caesar just like Willow in that moment. I wanted to strangle the whole Capitol. But…" I shake my head, smiling bitterly. "But I can't. It's like punching a building, Haymitch. Like punching a machine. They'll never die. We'll never beat them."

"No." Haymitch agrees.

"Who really wants to win the games anyway?" I ask. "The ones who live are worse off."

"None of us are really living." Haymitch sighs. "We're surviving. By whatever means we can."

"Yeah." I glance upward. Above me, Willow is in her room breaking apart. And I wish I could take a tenth of her pain right now to make it easier for her. But I can't. "And some of us don't even want to do that."

"But we will. You, me and Willow. We're all going to survive."

"Okay."

"You hear me Katniss? All of us."

I look at him and nod once. "I hear you."

"Promise me?"

"Promise."

* * *

_**Willow**_

At some point I reach a comfortable point of numbness. It's the only way I'm able to make it through the rest of the ceremonies without snapping. I look the president dead in the eye when he rests the crown upon my head and thank him properly, though I'd rather run a knife through his throat.

The train ride home should relieve me but it fills me with dread. What will the others in District 12 see when I step off the train? A killer. My mother and brother will never look at me the same way again. My schoolmates will fear me almost as much as I fear myself.

I watch the trees rush by my window, praying that the train will derail and kill us all.

"Hey, ice queen."

I don't have to turn around to know who it is.

"How'd you get back here?" I ask. "Didn't anyone try to stop you?"

"Granite did." Jasper says. "Then I held a knife to his throat. So here I am." He sits beside me on the bench. "This train feels so empty now."

"Its missing twenty two people." I reply.

"Sure is."

"Including our sisters."

"…Yeah."

I look at him for the first time. "Why are you talking to me? Why would you want to be in the same room as me… after what I did?"

Jasper shifts in his seat, looking down at his lap. "It'd be easy to hate you I guess. But I killed your sister to."

"It was an accident," I say. "You didn't want to. _I _wanted to."

"No you didn't." Jasper says. "If you wanted to, why would your mind block it out?" He glances at me. "You still don't remember, do you?"

"I remember what I saw on the screen. But I don't remember being in my body when I did it." I pick at my nails. "But still…"

"We all kill in the games." Jasper says.

"Not like I did."

"Maybe not. But there's nothing we can do about it now."

"No." I lean my head against the window. "I think District 1 is coming up."

"Yeah." Jasper stands. "Listen, Willow." I look at him. "I want to see you for the victory tour. In six months." He takes a step back. "Survive for that long. You're good at that."

I don't reply. Because I really don't want to make that promise.

"And if you won't do it for me." Jasper shrugs. "Do it for Holly." He waves a hand in farewell. "See you soon Ice queen."

"Yeah," I reply, before I think about it. "I'll… I'll see you soon."

Survive for six months. It feels like a challenge of sorts. It's not much but it's a goal.

The games strip us of everything. For the other competitors, the games take their lives, but for the victors… we are stripped of our humanity. We are unable to call ourselves normal again. That's why we're given our own village in our district.

Maybe the games have made me into a monster and maybe the Capitol succeeded at everything. But monsters can still survive.

Maybe… if I survive long enough… I can become a monster to more than just myself. One day the Capitol might look at me and tremble to see the beast they created.

One day… they will regret keeping me alive. And that thought is enough to keep my lungs working and my steel heart beating.

That thought, Jasper's words and Holly's smile… make the six months ahead of me possible. Besides... I promised my sister I would try to win.

I will survive, Holly.

I promise.

* * *

_**A/N: This is a little open ended because I MIGHT eventually write a sequel. Originally that was not going to happen because both Jasper and Willow living is a recent development. (Originally, only Willow lived) The sequel won't come out for awhile, but keep your eyes peeled and you might see it someday.**_

_**Again, thanks for all the reviews and feedback. Leave one last review and tell me a few things. 1) What did you think of the final chapter. 2) What did you think of the fic as a whole. And 3) Who is your favorite OC? Is it Willow? Holly? Jasper? Jade? Or someone else? Let me know in your reviews. May the odds be ever in your favor ;)**_


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